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No, the women on CD are shaming him for being emotionally abusive and controlling and for not leaving like he should.
Right, because he should just leave with his tail between his legs while she goes out and cheats on him. He should sleep on the sidewalk since he committed the cardinal sin of making his wife unhappy.
You don't even hold the woman responsible at all and just blindly take her side because of "the sisterhood." Why any guy would marry in this day and age is beyond me.
Right, because he should just leave with his tail between his legs while she goes out and cheats on him. He should sleep on the sidewalk since he committed the cardinal sin of making his wife unhappy.
You don't even hold the woman responsible at all and just blindly take her side because of "the sisterhood." Why any guy would marry in this day and age is beyond me.
Women shouldn't waste their time marrying these whiny cheapskates either. but they do.
I don't know, more then likely you are -- but I wasn't talking about you in particular. just responding to Ram when he said he doesn't understand why men get married in this day and age. I don't know why women get married and put up with all their garbage either. Well women should get married, so they have some kind of net when he decides he's bored with married life and/or found a new play thing but that's another issue.
Last edited by Doll Eyes; 09-04-2012 at 06:10 PM..
Right, because he should just leave with his tail between his legs while she goes out and cheats on him. He should sleep on the sidewalk since he committed the cardinal sin of making his wife unhappy.
You don't even hold the woman responsible at all and just blindly take her side because of "the sisterhood." Why any guy would marry in this day and age is beyond me.
Two posts ago she said the OP's wife is "whoring around." That doesn't sound like blindly taking her side to me.
The question OP asked was "was I wrong" NOT "was SHE wrong". Clearly you didn't do well at school. I was answering the question asked, which I will again, to you.
My view on her "wrongness" is as follows -
No one needs to judge what goes on inside a marriage. It's NO ONE ELSE'S BUSINESS. Often one partner isn't even really sure what's going on. You go into these things trusting your life to someone and if something happens that changes it, one way or another, you have to deal with it as best you can. For all we know OP might notve gotten it up in a week of sundays, preferring to masturbate and deny his wife intimacy. NO ONE just forgets their vows and goes and cheats unless there is something intrinsically wrong in the relationship. Once you start the blame game, it never stops.
Sounds like you're trying to justify cheating here. There's never an excuse. If there's a problem with the relationship, you deal with it like an adult and if it can't be reconciled, then you go your separate ways.
April 1st was the suicide attempt...I confronted her a few days before about the sex stuff from the online guy, said she needed to break it off,..then she went drinking w/ friends and fam. while I was at work...family finally called me about 2 hours after I got off work and said she was in the ER, and had been for the last few hours...
Started marriage counseling, independent counseling, after being released from the psych unit less than a week later.
Then about 3 weeks later went to ER for stomach cramps and found out she was pregnant. Despite doing scans, they missed that it was ectopic, so we went home with instructions to return three days later. The morning of the appointment, it ruptured and she started bleeding internally. Had to call 911, doctors said she lost a lot of blood and it was pretty touch and go for awhile..had to call her family and get them all down there ASAP..
Rest of April - late June was in marriage counseling, about half way through she ended up breaking the promise to the therapist to stop talking to online guy. Marriage counselor insisted she re-start independent counseling as well, adjust meds (depression and anxiety). This is the point she had the "girls night out" which included her picking up and dating a different guy she had a crush on from highschool..marriage counselor informed, hence the comments of me eventually reaching the breaking point..
Late June/Early July is when she went to the other guys apartment and slept with him. I cried, called her, was extremely upset, felt alone..yada yada. This is the night this thread takes place. Online emotional affair guy abandoned her at this point...
She came home, we decided on divorce, and weeks later eventually met new people. We didn't have the money for divorce/me to move out, so she started looking for a full time job, which she found about 2.5 weeks ago (first paycheck on Thursday).
But then she became even more depressed, started making suicidal comments, talking about "wanting to catch an STD" and inviting strangers over. That's where the previous thread takes place.
Today - I think she realized it was stupid, says she "got it out of her system." I told her I loved her but don't want to be her husband and am most likely moving out of state..
I view the emotional affair guy/guy she had sex with as cheating. Anything after that point - no. The intentions to end the marriage became known, we took off our rings, plans were set, and both joined the same dating site.
I've dated one person since, but I realized it's too soon for me. I need to be alone and try to feel things, I think, atleast settle on where I want to move to.
I'm still not over her almost dying, and her telling me "I might die.." and not being able to say otherwise before the surgery, still haunts me. I'm not really the emotional type, or type that cries - but I still cry over that...
I went on my first date about a month ago, and that moment just kept running through my mind....
We both also became excited about becoming parents, but her almost dying and having to get all her family over, is what feels more real..
I know she's still extremely upset over it too, and I know how she's acting ("i want an STD.." etc), is largely due to it, since she was never like that before..
Thank you for clarifying. Have you filed the divorce papers? When do you expect the divorce to be final?
About your Asperger's, many people will react negatively when you step outside social norms, such as laughing when someone cries or making jokes during a traumatic event such as suicide or miscarriage. My daughter is autistic and laughs when people get hurt, because her brain knows to react but not how, and people who don't know her are usually visibly taken aback. I'm sure you have already experienced this. You can learn how to act appropriately, even if you don't feel it. Even if you don't have empathy for others in the traditional sense, if you want people to be comfortable around you, social norms are important. You say you want a wife and children. Aspies can and do get married and have kids, but sometimes they need help understanding other people. If you want a wife who will stay with you and children who don't hate you, you need to learn these things. Asperger's is not an excuse to act like a jerk.
I don't know, more then likely you are -- but I wasn't talking about you in particular. just responding to Ram when he said he doesn't understand why men get married in this day and age. I don't know why women get married and put up with all their garbage either. Well women should get married, so they have some kind of net when he decides he's bored with married life and/or found a new play thing but that's another issue.
Women have nothing to lose by playing the game because any "bad" a woman does is excused. You would take a woman's side over a man's simply because she's a woman and then you have the nerve to say you aren't sexist. When a woman cleans a man out in a divorce, she's congratulated even if she was the one in the wrong. When a man wins in a divorce, suddenly women will cry about how unfair the world is.
Most guys wouldn't run a race where their opponent gets a head start of 2000 feet, which is pretty much what marriage is.
Right, because he should just leave with his tail between his legs while she goes out and cheats on him. He should sleep on the sidewalk since he committed the cardinal sin of making his wife unhappy.
You don't even hold the woman responsible at all and just blindly take her side because of "the sisterhood." Why any guy would marry in this day and age is beyond me.
Selective reading...was that a course at your High School?
I have said over and over that what she has done is wrong and shytty and I have suggested that he say "see ya" and leave her with nothing because he owes her absolutely NOTHING. HE is the one that wants to give her the house and pay her bills until she can afford to do that for herself. He has stated they are friends and they want to keep it civil and respectful.
Nobody is blindly taking her side but there ARE two sides. He treated her like crap and she's a cheater.
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Clearly you didn't do well at school. I was answering the question asked, which I will again, to you.
