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Throughout my twenties I refused to date a man with a child. I don't want them myself and little kids annoy me. Plus the financial cost over 20+ years, the stress... not interested. Well, I fell head over heels for a guy at work who had a son. The son was 2-5 during the time we were together. Sweet kid for the most part, but that age is trying no matter what. I wasn't put in the "mommy role," but it was stressful just being around it. I never wanted to deal with that stuff, and there I was living with the stress and not even having the benefit of that unconditional love that people have for their kids, underneath all the crap.
I also had an issue that another poster brought up, which was never going to go away. I had no kids and refused to be tied down by someone else's, so I tried to keep my own life. My ex had NO life. He worked all the time, had to work extra hours to cover the child support and still keep afloat (because I wasn't going to float him cash to pay for HIS child), and could never do ANYTHING. We had his son every single weekend and for the most part wouldn't get a babysitter because he felt guilty since he only saw the kid two days a week. All of this I understand. But because HE was trapped and miserable, I had to be too. If I went out and did stuff, even just going on a day trip by myself or out with a girl friend, I had to hear about how he never got to do anything.
Well, yeah. You have no life, because you have a small child. That's exactly why I didn't want one of my own.
We ended up breaking up, partly because of some glaring personality flaws and partly because of the kid thing. Just felt like there would ALWAYS be tension there because I could have my own life and hobbies, and he spent his free time stuck with his kid.
So very true. The problem of not having any kind of financial or family help when being a single parent. You are thrown into the role of a just add water family. It's tough for the person that is rather independent seeing someone who is "trapped" with a child.
Its simple, people don't want kids. Having a kid around is annoying, they just are noisy and bother you and take up time. Why would somebody want something that would make their life less fun?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhenomenalAJ
Its simple, people don't want kids. Having a kid around is annoying, they just are noisy and bother you and take up time. Why would somebody want something that would make their life less fun?
Its simple, people don't want kids. Having a kid around is annoying, they just are noisy and bother you and take up time. Why would somebody want something that would make their life less fun?
It's hard for some people to tolerate their own, so that then begs the question as to why one would put up with the same from a kid who isn't your own.
I don't think kids is the reason of the deal breaker, It is the drama and potential problems associate with the kids' live. e.g. baby mama drama
If a parent knows how to balance his or her kids and the new spouse, things will and can work out beautifully, but if the single parent has this astonishing sense of entitlement, expect the new spouse to be a doormat, well good luck. you gonna need a man or a woman with zero self esteem. Reality is reality. Nobody are willing to take the back seat for the rest of their lives.
I personally have dated one single father, things did not work out for different reasons, but I absolutely felt blessed by this relationship because I've learned a lot. My sister is another case. The single father has this "the world owes me and my kids" mentality and attitude comes from nowhere. He is demanding and obnoxious, his kid is a potential bully and masss shooter in the making (abuse little animals at very early age, showed absolutely no emotions when relating other people, etc)
Its simple, people don't want kids. Having a kid around is annoying, they just are noisy and bother you and take up time. Why would somebody want something that would make their life less fun?
Hahahahaha please stay as far away from America's children as you possibly can because you are not wanted. You are absolutely not worthy of that kind of responsibility.
Why are kids a deal-breaker for you? I notice this more with men who won't date single mothers, although it can happen with women not dating single dads as well. Is it because the kids themselves drive you nuts and you don't like having them around? Or is it for financial reasons, because you fear that your significant other would guilt you into helping financially support a kid who is not yours? Or is there some other reason i have not thought of?
I'm not against dating single moms with kids but I don't actively seek them out. No reason to. Now it's my turn to let them seek me out and chase me after years of being avoided by them. If mom meets all the physical requirements and is a decent percent to go with it, I might just let her take me out and allow her to enjoy what I have to offer. These women have all the time in the world for me when the guys they truly desire to be with refuse to make time for them. Besides, single moms can't afford to carry the same amount of "pickyness" from their youth unless they want to be alone. Diminishing looks won't allow it ladies. Even the hot single moms are no match for the same age kidless cougars.
One of my best friends dated an older woman who had two kids from a previous marriage. They got married and when the relationship went to sh*t, she used her kids against him. I want no part of that BS which is why I tend to avoid single moms altogether. Is she's worth it, she'll put the effort into getting my attention but I can't say she'll be able to keep it because I usually don't stay in these kind of relationships.
Hahahahaha please stay as far away from America's children as you possibly can because you are not wanted. You are absolutely not worthy of that kind of responsibility.
He is probably more worthy than many parents.
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