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Isn't that the case for most all of us, not just him ? The chance of one individual finding you attractive if you're slightly above average or less in attractiveness is quite low. The chance of finding someone who thinks you're attractive if you try many times is much higher.
I happen to be a person who doesn't really notice if a guy is short until it's pointed out to me that the guy is short. And so we have 3 guys in this thread (including you) who've talked about his shortness. So now we know there are at least 12 women out there who think that 5'4" is too short. Big whoop. Know how many single or soon to be single women there are out there ? It's a lot more than 12, I guarantee you.
I don't think there's any basis for saying that someone is going to have a tough life just because they're a 5'4" guy. That's ridiculous.
Not really.
Most above average people have tons of people interested in them through their 30s and even 40s. I see TONS of women in that age group are attractive. Easily the majority at least. It might be a little tougher for guys, but whatever.
Not a tough life per se, but a very rough romantic life. He has to come to grips with that somehow.
there's always a bright side- you dont have 5 kids with four different woman,,,and out begging for food
Excellent! So true.
And think of all the "my baby's mama" drama a guy like has to go through.
Quote:
save your money, go get some lapdances... nothing builds confidence than a pretty, naked woman smiling at you,,,,doesnt matter if you paid for it
LOL. I like this too.
Truthfully though, sports and the business world knows confidence is built by a series of accomplishments. If you're always losing your confidence will at some point plummet, assuming you have much confidence in the first place to lose.
Almost related to confidence is indifference and a "I don't give a d___." Kind of like a combat vet that overtime gets indifferent to death and doesn't care as much about his own death.
So, maybe if you can't be confident, take his close cousin and be indifferent.
No, the world doesn't work that way. You don't always find someone. About 20% of men never get married by 40. A lot of black women never get married.
Black women almost always get married by a certain age. I forget what age that is, but I think it's 40. The statistics on them, from my understanding, tracked black women up to age 30 or something. From that it spread like gospel black women don't get married.
Most above average people have tons of people interested in them through their 30s and even 40s. I see TONS of women in that age group are attractive. Easily the majority at least. It might be a little tougher for guys, but whatever.
Not a tough life per se, but a very rough romantic life. He has to come to grips with that somehow.
You think that if you approached a random person and you were only slightly above average, you'd have a better than 10% chance of that individual being attracted to you and wanting to date you ? I really don't. In fact, I think it's more like 1% or less.
So I think for the vast majority of us, it is all about the numbers.
Secondly, I don't think it really matters whether the OP has a tougher time dating than anyone else. The bottom line is that he needs to get out there and start practicing and then he can start asking his therapist, friends, whatever what he might be doing wrong if he gets no success. No reason to compare how easy it is going to be for him to how easy it is for anyone else. The only thing that matters to him is whether he can be successful, not whether it's easier for anyone else to be successful.
No offense, but I don't see any need for there to be these negative posts in this thread. The OP is already feeding himself too many negative thoughts. He doesn't need others contributing to it. Not that he can be sheltered from that. So he's not being harmed by these posts. It's life. But I really think that much of what is being said on here is actually myths and not true, and that if he really got after this dating thing (and that includes any necessary self improvement that he discovers), he'd have success.
You think that if you approached a random person and you were only slightly above average, you'd have a better than 10% chance of that individual being attracted to you and wanting to date you ? I really don't. In fact, I think it's more like 1% or less.
So I think for the vast majority of us, it is all about the numbers.
Secondly, I don't think it really matters whether the OP has a tougher time dating than anyone else. The bottom line is that he needs to get out there and start practicing and then he can start asking his therapist, friends, whatever what he might be doing wrong if he gets no success. No reason to compare how easy it is going to be for him to how easy it is for anyone else. The only thing that matters to him is whether he can be successful, not whether it's easier for anyone else to be successful.
No offense, but I don't see any need for there to be these negative posts in this thread. The OP is already feeding himself too many negative thoughts. He doesn't need others contributing to it. Not that he can be sheltered from that. So he's not being harmed by these posts. It's life. But I really think that much of what is being said on here is actually myths and not true, and that if he really got after this dating thing (and that includes any necessary self improvement that he discovers), he'd have success.
What is there to "practice"?
I infer from this you don't think women are attracted sincerity but rather what some people call "having game." No one has as much game as players and pimps. Literally pimps.
This also partly explains why pimps have so many women and women. I think Ice Berg Slim in his autobiography said he used to charge the females in his stable to have sex with him.
Anyways, personally, I don't put much stock in to acting out a character for a woman. First of all, who the h___ is she? She probably farts in bed and I know she stinks up the bathroom. If she's 25 I can hazard a guess odds are she'll be as big as a breached whale by the time she's 50. So, I'm not jumping around minstrel style or being a clown or becoming a figurative stage actor playing any other character to impress her.
I infer from this you don't think women are attracted sincerity but rather what some people call "having game." No one has as much game as players and pimps. Literally pimps.
This also partly explains why pimps have so many women and women. I think Ice Berg Slim in his autobiography said he used to charge the females in his stable to have sex with him.
Anyways, personally, I don't put much stock in to acting out a character for a woman. First of all, who the h___ is she? She probably farts in bed and I know she stinks up the bathroom. If she's 25 I can hazard a guess odds are she'll be as big as a breached whale by the time she's 50. So, I'm not jumping around minstrel style or being a clown or becoming a figurative stage actor playing any other character to impress her.
Uh ... no. You misread my post.
Shy (or "lacking confidence") people have to practice interacting with others, particularly interacting with others romantically. They become nervous wrecks (or just avoid it entirely). But with time, and with practice asking people on dates and eventually going on dates, they become more comfortable with this very scary (for them) interaction. Furthermore, everybody who has little experience interacting with others romantically and with relationships benefits from practice at doing it. They learn what works well and what doesn't, how to avoid long uncomfortable silences, and when they should and when they shouldn't and how they should approach women. But that has nothing to do with "having game" or "pickup artist".
I did not in any way recommend for him to act out of character, "have game," or be a pimp. Absurd !
Shy (or "lacking confidence") people have to practice interacting with others, particularly interacting with others romantically. They become nervous wrecks (or just avoid it entirely). But with time, and with practice asking people on dates and eventually going on dates, they become more comfortable with this very scary (for them) interaction.
I did not in any way recommend for him to act out of character, "have game," or be a pimp. Absurd !
Correct. It's just practicing being at ease with casual conversation, with being friendly. To some, this comes naturally. To others, it doesn't.
You think that if you approached a random person and you were only slightly above average, you'd have a better than 10% chance of that individual being attracted to you and wanting to date you ? I really don't. In fact, I think it's more like 1% or less.
Oh no. Not at all. Especially if you're a woman. I think a woman who is slightly above average (a 6) would have 6 or 7 out of 10 men physically attracted to her at least. We're talking about pure physical attraction but nothing works without that.
For men, the numbers are lower, but still, an average looking guy should have no problems PHYSICALLY attracting many women.
The further you are away from average, the tougher it will be.
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So true.
be a pimp. Absurd ! 
