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A lot of guys would be really put off by women making lewd comments toward them. I don't know who the guys you describe are.
I see men like that everywhere. I'm not saying that they consider those women marriage material but they wouldn't mind the attention and comments. You sound like a very interesting lady to me I wish more women were like you.
Certainly not some woman who looks like a toothless, frumpy Kathy Bates looking him up and down and licking her lips. I be they'd looove that.
That wouldn't bother me a bit and it would certainly not make me feel unsafe either. It doesn't mean that I would accept her advances but it would be flattering. Of course I am a very easygoing and open minded man so I tend to see things a little different.
That wouldn't bother me a bit and it would certainly not make me feel unsafe either. It doesn't mean that I would accept her advances but it would be flattering. Of course I am a very easygoing and open minded man so I tend to see things a little different.
And if you were a small woman in a store at night and a drunk, homeless man came up to you and tried to grab your boobs - would that make you feel unsafe? If you are walking down a deserted block and a car full of guys pulls up and starts shouting things at you - would that make you feel unsafe? It has nothing to do with being easygoing and open minded. Like I said, I don't mind the smiles, the compliments, etc. - but I do mind feeling unsafe. The other day when I was in the city, a young maintenance guy told me I had a beautiful smile. That made ME smile! That was lovely. The other things- not so much.
Wrong. Most women rarely get asked out. Only the 9's and 10's are as you describe. About 50% of women (the 1's through 5's) are invisible to men altogether. The 6's and 7's might get approached a few times a year, if that. Some of the guys here are in need of a massive reality check.
And if you were a small woman in a store at night and a drunk, homeless man came up to you and tried to grab your boobs - would that make you feel unsafe? If you are walking down a deserted block and a car full of guys pulls up and starts shouting things at you - would that make you feel unsafe? It has nothing to do with being easygoing and open minded. Like I said, I don't mind the smiles, the compliments, etc. - but I do mind feeling unsafe. The other day when I was in the city, a young maintenance guy told me I had a beautiful smile. That made ME smile! That was lovely. The other things- not so much.
What's going on here is that the guys are taking their safety for granted. They think it's about being "easygoing and open minded". Safety concerns aren't on their radar. But safety aside, a lot of guys are put off by lewd and crude behavior by women.
Exactly. It's not at all unusual for a woman to go about her daily business: going for a run, being at work, hitting the farmer's market, meeting a friend for drinks, etc. without being approached at all. Maybe men are looking at her and ranking her or thinking impure thoughts or whatever, but they're not approaching in any meaningful way. Sometimes I wonder if people are watching too many sitcoms where every week the protagonists are meeting different attractive single people who are totally into them, and thinking that's the norm. Barney from How I Met Your Mother, Joey Tribiani from Friends, or even Kramer from Seinfeld aren't real.
And if you were a small woman in a store at night and a drunk, homeless man came up to you and tried to grab your boobs - would that make you feel unsafe? If you are walking down a deserted block and a car full of guys pulls up and starts shouting things at you - would that make you feel unsafe? It has nothing to do with being easygoing and open minded. Like I said, I don't mind the smiles, the compliments, etc. - but I do mind feeling unsafe. The other day when I was in the city, a young maintenance guy told me I had a beautiful smile. That made ME smile! That was lovely. The other things- not so much.
Well I am a man and have no boobs, but If I was a woman I wouldn't be walking down a deserted block to begin with. heck I don't walk down a deserted block being a man and why would I? Certainly if I was a woman in that situation I would feel threaten. Now if I was walking down a dark alley and a 500 pound woman with missing teeth and smelling bad started approaching me and getting dangerously close then maybe I would feel terrified.
The overwhelming majority of men I know who are in relationships kind of stumbled into it. None of these guys are the type to be dating various women while being single - more like they were single for huge periods of time until they were lucky enough to find a girl through friends or work or something who liked them. I know very very very few men who can be single and have no problem dating multiple women. My best friend is an example of this - good looking smart young dude from a rich family who is a fantastic guy...he was damn near permanently single for 3 or 4 years until he stumbled onto his current girlfriend. I know guys at my gym who are extremely good looking and extremely kind/friendly who I've never seen with a girl in years and years that I've known them
Why is it so incredibly difficult for most men to be successful with women? I don't even believe all the crap on the net posted about looks, status, personality, confidence or income...I know plenty guys with most or even all those traits who have very little dating success. I'm completely baffled by what it takes to do well in dating
I mean obviously the opposite of that is not true... Most of these girls that my friends are dating would have 50 guys ready to date them the second they would break up with their current boyfriends so why does this imbalance exist?
Are there a larger number of men who find dating to be manageable and I'm just not finding them?
In all honesty, it does no good to worry about things like that. They may be good looking, with a lot of other things going for them, but there is likely something else to the story.
It could be something as simple as where they live (city, neighborhood, etc.). Are they actually talking to people, how do they come off when they talk to women.
TOO MANY FACTORS!!!
The sad thing is not everyone figures it out.
I've figured it out. I'm still single, but I only completed half the battle.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ImmortalRites
I hang out with people who are into working out and looking good, going out and socializing, partying and having fun, working hard and trying to be very successful...isn't that what everybody on the internet claims that dating success as a man is all about?
Orphaned.
But I can seriously count the number of men I know who can be single and still have options on one hand
I think this post right here sums up the issue. I mean no offense.
You and the people you hang with might carry some kind of judgmental air about you. I'm not saying not to judge. I myself catch myself judging people and I try to snap myself out of it.
It seems like you think that you are better than others, and that might be a little off-putting.
I haven't seen you in action. I'm only looking at your posts which are not always a good representation of anyone in question.
Well I am a man and have no boobs, but If I was a woman I wouldn't be walking down a deserted block to begin with. heck I don't walk down a deserted block being a man and why would I? Certainly if I was a woman in that situation I would feel threaten. Now if I was walking down a dark alley and a 500 pound woman with missing teeth and smelling bad started approaching me and getting dangerously close then maybe I would feel terrified.
When you live in a walking city - there aren't always other people or cars around. Most of the time there are - but sometimes there aren't. My point is that you see all these things as compliments or harmless - and oftentimes they can scare a woman. Like I said - it's not about being easy going and openminded - I'd like to think I'm both those things. It's about feeling safe.
And like I said before - I don't want men to be more like women. In my real life, I have no problems with men. I love men. I love my husband and wouldn't change a thing about him.
The overwhelming majority of men I know who are in relationships kind of stumbled into it....Why is it so incredibly difficult for most men to be successful with women
As others have said, you're hanging around the wrong group. I've never encountered anything like you're describing. Very few men I've known have had much difficulty dating or getting women, even the average-looking or overweight ones. And most people in relationships don't stumble into them, unless you're hanging with a crew that just bar hops and goes to clubs. Of course under those circumstances, "stumbling into" someone for a meaningless one night stand would be the norm.
Get a professional career and you'll see the majority of people still meet their partners at work or in work-related venues. Sure, lots meet on the net or bars too.
And when you say it's "incredibly difficult" for men to be successful with women, you're really only saying you find it incredibly difficult and are discernibly bitter about it. The solution is to be happy on your own and not be so desperate to be "successful" with women. Try it.
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