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I was also thinking maybe I should send a copy of it to MYSELF...this way there's a chance I might even sue him...
Confronting without any evidence is pointless...
You should definitely keep a copy for future reference. Also keep in mind what others have said about the possibility of other recording devices being used. He could have some stuff hidden away somewhere pointed at the bed, for example. Once someone goes this far, you have to at least suspect they have gone further.
I get that it's not right...but if he's not that into me why the hell has he spend the last 2 years with me?
Why did he offer to take me on a vacation abroad and move in with him next month?
I did consider the possibility I'm his booty call but would you offer your booty call to move in to your family house? I don't think so.
Maybe he loves the hell out of you, but being on the phone multiple times during sex is not right. You need to put a stop to that. In a way, it would be worse for him to be on the phone texting buddies or looking at e-mail while that is going on than him shooting video. His mind, at the very least, is not in the moment. Sex should be a very intmate act between two people who love and respect one another. And being on the phone no matter what reason is not a sign of respect. You deserve better than someone like that.
If it turns out that he has not been taking video of the encounters, this does not let him off the hook. What he was doing was still wrong and shallow and plain disrespectful. You have to put a stop to it or else he will never respect you.
why are we trying to justify amount of time spent with someone overriding their actions or our better judgment and interests?
you are not "throwing away" the last 2 years of your life. they happened...its not being erased and you do not have to move on to better prospects for yourself like your history never even happened. take with you your past and LEARN from it, whether it be the good bad or ugly it doesn't matter. what matters is you took something away to better YOURSELF....but never shortchange yourself in to being treated like a stupid moron just because you have "X" amount of time invested with one person.
the amount of time is meaningless. its HOW you spend it.
i dont give two ****s about if anyone stays in a bad situation or not (that's a lesson you will eventually have to learn on your own to fully "get"), but at least understand that time does not equate love, devotion or intention.
that is up to the people involved.
Last edited by rego00123; 08-15-2013 at 01:10 PM..
We went on vacation this past weekend, but the night before we left we were having sex and while I was giving him a BJ (sorry for all the details) he took his phone out said "I'll just set the alarm so we won't be late"...I didn't think much of it even though the thought he might be pointing a camera at me did cross my mind for a sec...but I kept going (it wasn't the first time he took his phone out in a time like this, but this time the angle he was pointing it made me suspicious)...then I got even more paranoid when I tried to grab it from his hand and told him "not now", indeed I saw the video camera screen...
I stopped and tried to confront him, he swore it wasn't a camera and he might of pressed it by mistake, he said his friend just send him some gross photo of a body (don't ask)...
he put the phone down and I tried to believe him.
Next day I forgot all about it because we were having a great time, but I remembered it at night...he showed me that body photos to show he's not lying so I calmed down once more.
The day AFTER that, when we got back home (to his place) he was showing some photos to a friend that was with us on vacation and he got to the part where the vacation photos ended...
I couldn't see clearly but I did see something that looked like skin (it was a video so you can't really see what's going on just in the album).
When I got home I sent him a message "thanks for the great trip. P.S. I'm gonna kill you if you didn't delete those videos" once again he swore a dozen times that it's all in my head, and that "what belongs to you and me is only ours" "don't you trust me" "I'll always protect you" and all kinds of BS that seemed like he just copied from 'how to tell your GF what she wants to hear'.
I tried to make a joke (in case I AM being paranoid) and said "you do know that if anybody every sees a sex tape with me I'm gonna have to change my name and move to the north pole right?"
I'm supposed to see him again this weekend, and no matter how many times he tried to calm me down my intuition just tells me something's not right...and unfortunately, my intuition's never wrong.
I really don't know what to do...
I thought about confronting him again saying "either you show me all you photo/vid album and let me make sure it's not what I think it is, or I'm calling a cab and you'll never see me again!"
But it has been a week, and there's a chance he deleted them already (he doesn't move stuff to his computer so that's okay), in that case I'll just look like a psycho gf...
But I also can't just let it be...I can't sleep at night thinking what if a video like that actually exists...
and even though I hear the north pole is pretty nice this time of year, I really don't feel like moving there.
I'm really sorry for all the long whining but either I'm paranoid, or I'm right.
What would you do in my case?
He took a video of you and I saw it... you got skills..
Umm he's your BOYFRIEND. He obviously likes/loves you!!!
Houstan, we have a problem. I obviously don't know if the OP's boyfriend loves her or not. But the fact that he is her BF doesn't mean he does. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't, but using your logic, if someone goes to church, they have to be religous.
Quote:
Originally Posted by houstan-dan
If he records it, it's because he finds it HOT. He wants to look at it later or something.
Or he wants to show it to his friends later. Or post it on line later. Or do any number of things, but it doesn't really matter what he wants to do with it later. She told him no before, he didn't ask this time and his behaviour when she asked about it is kinda a give away that he knows he was caught doing something she didn't want him to do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by houstan-dan
I always record stuff like that, typically with permission. My gf has made me tons of videos. So have ex's, pics, you name it...
So? What does that have to do with the OP? And typically? Really?
Quote:
Originally Posted by houstan-dan
You've never sent him naked pics? I would never send naked pictures of my girlfriend to any friends. Now if he wasn't your BF and just a friend with benefits, then maybe be concerned. Especially if he didn't ask...
And what if she has? Although from what she has said, I tend to doubt it. But that was then; this is now. It's a variation of the short skirt arguement. Even if she did send him nude pics before, she has the ability to change her mind and not want to do that sort of thing again. And certainly not without permission.
Quote:
Originally Posted by houstan-dan
I wonder if any guys would care if their gf took a vid of them?
Your gut is telling you something for a reason. Even if you think that you love this guy you need to m
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(joking) In reality this is a serious matter. Not a good situation to be in .