Ladies, would you date a 30 year old virgin? (relation, pictures, reason)
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People have preferences and I respect that, women don't owe me a chance.
This makes no sense.
Having experience doesn't make somebody a good lover. Trust me, I know. Plenty of guys have bragged and they were awful just as kissers.
Being inexperienced won't necessarily make you awful.
And women aren't like stick shift cars. Learning how to drive one doesn't necessarily mean you know how to drive them all. You still have to communicate at the beginning of any relationship to see what they like. That give you the opportunity to learn on the fly.
Women only have a problem with male virginity if it is for the "wrong reasons".
wrong reasons = mental illness (depression, social anxiety etc), nobody wanted you before, very unattractive, very weird etc.
It's a free market and no one is entitled to anything, so people with those "wrong reasons" can improve "their situation" to a certain degree. Quit your whining. If you were overweight and your doctor informed you that your decisions were leading to an early grave, you'd make chances. This is no different. You'd work on improving your attire, you'd work on being less weird, you'd see a therapist, etc.
PS. I'm a 32 year old virgin male. I have cerebral palsy and that tends to be a REAL deal breaker. But I don't sit around and have pity parties, I realize it's a free market and moved on to optimize to comparative advantages (career and $$$).
Last edited by tonym9428; 11-09-2017 at 06:28 AM..
Having experience doesn't make somebody a good lover. Trust me, I know. Plenty of guys have bragged and they were awful just as kissers.
Being inexperienced won't necessarily make you awful.
And women aren't like stick shift cars. Learning how to drive one doesn't necessarily mean you know how to drive them all. You still have to communicate at the beginning of any relationship to see what they like. That give you the opportunity to learn on the fly.
You're being silly.
This is so true. There are men who are experienced and yet are not good lovers.
It all boils down to being considerate. Especially with someone new, you wont automatically know exactly what she likes. Be willing to ask and open to her input.
A woman with any sense is willing to communicate specifically what she likes to a new partner. (Touch me here, kiss me there, etc. ) No one expects you to be a mind reader.
You know what I think this is about? It hasn't got a blessed thing to do with virginity.
So you go into an interaction, bracing yourself for failure. All prior interactions resulted in (what you perceived as) failure, why ought this one to be any different? But they all say, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and you have to buy a lottery ticket, and don't give up...so you're giving it your token effort 'cause you're not happy as it is, so you might as well. Deep down...you really would like to have love. But because you walk into it with a tiny pebble of hope buried under a dung heap of pessimism, because hey why get your hopes up only to be disappointed? There is tension. You're just waiting for the inevitable moment of rejection. It is almost a relief, if you can find a way to trigger it and get it out of the way. Now you can tell that pebble of hope to go eff itself and rest content that all is right in the world, exactly as you expect. Lay all the blame on things outside of your control to ease your mind and get on with life, tension relieved.
Being actually optimistic seems like a fool's option. What sort of an idiot would allow themselves to expect anything but failure, in a world where failure is the single predictable constant, if only because you make darn sure it is and continues to be...?
As Runningwiththieves says, do you also explain what your poops are like, and tell every conceivable embarrassing anecdote, share any flaws in your credit file and tell your date how you don't earn as much money as other guys, and sometimes you get a zit on your back, and explain every possible way in which you are not the best possible option, to encourage her to reject you as soon as possible, all in the name of "fair disclosure" just to relieve the tension of hoping for something you don't believe is possible?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Screami
I believe I said that I bring it up in the beginning because of waiting and it not making a difference.
Right, but again HOW LONG DID YOU WAIT? The question you are NOT answering, is, in these supposed instances in which you "waited"...where were you at, and how was the woman responding to you, when you did break the news and got "dropped?" Because to me right now? This sounds like baloney. Like a fearful excuse making, begging everyone to get off your back and affirm that your picture of love and sex as a hopeless endeavor, is indeed accurate, giving you comfort in the swaddling blanket of blameless bitterness.
If that's what you need, to get by, then hey...it is your life dude. Go for it. But you could stand to be more honest with yourself, that's what I think.
Right, but again HOW LONG DID YOU WAIT? The question you are NOT answering, is, in these supposed instances in which you "waited"...where were you at, and how was the woman responding to you, when you did break the news and got "dropped?" Because to me right now? This sounds like baloney. Like a fearful excuse making, begging everyone to get off your back and affirm that your picture of love and sex as a hopeless endeavor, is indeed accurate, giving you comfort in the swaddling blanket of blameless bitterness.
.
And how did you bring it up? "Be patient with me, I'm not very experienced" or "Women don't want to have sex with me"? Something else?
And how did you bring it up? "Be patient with me, I'm not very experienced" or "Women don't want to have sex with me"? Something else?
And when did we finally get to the Breakthrough Point here where he's admitting that he actually would like a relationship? Seems like there's been a complete change of opinion. Posters used to tell him he just said that he didn't want a relationship and relationships were stupid, because he was scared and in real life he actually did want one. Which would then get him really upset because no, no, no he does not.
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 673,371 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tonym9428
It's a free market and no one is entitled to anything, so people with those "wrong reasons" can improve "their situation" to a certain degree. Quit your whining. If you were overweight and your doctor informed you that your decisions were leading to an early grave, you'd make chances. This is no different. You'd work on improving your attire, you'd work on being less weird, you'd see a therapist, etc.
PS. I'm a 32 year old virgin male. I have cerebral palsy and that tends to be a REAL deal breaker. But I don't sit around and have pity parties, I realize it's a free market and moved on to optimize to comparative advantages (career and $$$).
What you've written in this post is the right attitude to have! You actually understand the concept of improving oneself to the best of their ability and to NOT have an attitude of entitlement and to NOT wallow in self-pity while complaining about not getting any sex from women.
You have moved on to optimize and enrich your life in OTHER WAYS by concentrating on OTHER THINGS, such as excelling in your career and making the best bank you can. And, it is because of your mature and insightful attitude that you'll eventually end up attracting a woman who sees that air of confidence and ambition in you.
This thread is fascinating to me... between some of the comments, and the poll. I never knew that many women sex shamed male virgins. It's up to 44 pct now, saying no. This is partially changing my opinion on some things and where we're at now in regards to male / female relations.
Yeah I mean it's kind of weird for a guy to be a virgin at that age, but I didn't think that many women would be so shallow about it. I don't see how women can say they don't think it's fair for them to be judged for their sexual history, when obviously, a high percentage of women are judging men for theirs.
Last edited by wanderlust76; 11-09-2017 at 07:59 PM..
This thread is fascinating to me... between some of the comments, and the poll. I never knew that many women sex shamed male virgins. It's up to 44 pct now, saying no. This is partially changing my opinion on some things and where we're at now in regards to male / female relations.
Yeah I mean it's kind of weird for a guy to be a virgin at that age, but I didn't think that many women would be so shallow about it. I don't see how women can say they don't think it's fair for them to be judged for their sexual history, when obviously, a high percentage of women are judging men for theirs.
Once again, any guy who comes out and says ''LOLZZZ I'm a virgin!'' when they've just started dating a woman, is a weirdo. This information is not required to be disclosed. I don't blame women for laughing.
It would be like if I were talking to a woman for the first time on the phone, and I blurted out ''Can I call you back? I gotta drop a steamy deuce!''. Is it necessary for me to have so be so honest to tell her that? Is it necessary to tell a woman that you're a virgin? At least wait until you're about to have sex with her. No reason to tell her.
That's the moron's fault (which in the scenario we're talking about, it would be a guy), for having to open his big frickin mouth. Who knows what else they're opening their mouth about, if they feel the need to say that. They're probably also rattling off all the times they've been rejected in the last 5 years, while they're at it. It reeks of insecurity, as well. People talk too much, early on, that's the problem. They divulge information that at that point, might be otherwise, irrelevant.
And if you wanna know my opinion as a guy? If I was going out with a well into adulthood woman and she felt the need to tell me she was a virgin, anywhere near before things got to the bedroom, I'd probably feel the same way. Although, context is very important.
So the older dude I have mentioned before here, he told me before we had sex that he did not have a lot of experience with women. That was it.
In the first few months, I gave him the general idea of my more extensive sexual experience. But I don't think I told him how many partners I'd had until later. He knew it was a pretty high number, though, and he had a chance to ask, "how high, exactly?" if he'd wanted to...but he didn't.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76
This thread is fascinating to me... between some of the comments, and the poll. I never knew that many women sex shamed male virgins. It's up to 44 pct now, saying no. This is partially changing my opinion on some things and where we're at now in regards to male / female relations.
Yeah I mean it's kind of weird for a guy to be a virgin at that age, but I didn't think that many women would be so shallow about it. I don't see how women can say they don't think it's fair for them to be judged for their sexual history, when obviously, a high percentage of women are judging men for theirs.
Look...I don't like the notion of shaming guys for virginity at any age, any more than I like the idea of shaming women for whatever degree of experience they've got. However, dating preferences should not be taken to equate to shaming, judgment, or discrimination (unless someone goes on to say things that are shamey, judgmental, or discriminatory.) Sometimes we simply like what we like, and that's fine.
I was one of the "yes" answers, and there were a bunch of "no" answers. I've met men who didn't care that I've had quite a significant number of partners, and were still wanting to be with me (and not only for sex, but also for relationships.) And yet some men are not comfortable with a woman having extensive sexual experience. While I might be able to argue back with the reasons that women think they wouldn't enjoy a virgin man, or argue with the reasons a man might want a virgin woman or reject an experienced woman, the fact remains that I have no right to tell anyone that they should change their views and partner with people that they don't want to.
A no on a poll shouldn't be taken as shaming.
Some of the comments...maybe, maybe not. But while I can speak to why I think that some women's reasons might not be 100% accurate (only based on my own experiences) I haven't any right to tell anyone who they should want to date.
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You actually understand the concept of improving oneself to the best of their ability and to NOT have an attitude of entitlement and to NOT wallow in self-pity while complaining about not getting any sex from women. 
