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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunnydee
When I asked men to explain this "fat mentality" they said it includes not being healthy, not eating right, not caring for yourself, not taking pride in your appearance, and being less active, which they say makes a woman less desirable for a long term relationship.
I think this is worse than carrying a few pounds. I don't have and never will have a six pack, but I work at eating right, keeping in shape, etc. I don't expect my partner to have a fitness model body, but take some pride... One of the women I lived with in my late 20s had a nice figure, but she ate ice cream nearly every night and other assorted junk and it was a total turn off over time.
Larger men and women are at a disadvantage in the dating world. It's true. I reentered the dating scene at a size 14/16, and then got down to about a 10/12. I never had problems with dating at either size, but I'm also tall and carry my weight well.
I went out with and dated men who were slightly shorter and/or thinner than me, men who were athletic and built, and went out with one guy a handful of times that was very tall, 6'4", and bigger than average. However, he was good-looking and carried his weight very well. He was very insincere and thought I didn't like him because he wasn't athletic and built, which wasn't the case at all. So, even men can be sensitive about such things.
I see a lot of overweight women who have boyfriends and husbands. Maybe he just doesn't like you as a person. You sound like you are really judgemental. I wouldn't want to deal with that if I were him, either.
I would think a crackho who would drown her own children and toss the bodies in a dumpster would be the worst thing.
That said, most men I know rank body over face when it comes to physical attraction. Of course, other things come into play as they get to know you. But speaking strictly surface-level, that's been my observation.
When it comes to flaws, look at it this way: Even if he considered lousy teeth a negative as well as being overweight, her mouth isn't always open and her flaw is not always on display, whereas yours is and there's no way to ignore it. Sounds harsh, but just looking at it from another perspective.
I would stop worrying about this guy and being all ticked off that he prefers someone else over you. You sound really jealous, and that can be even more of a turn-off to a man than a few extra pounds.
Having some extra weight is not the worst thing a woman could be.
I see women who have some extra weight with men everywhere, all the time (including handsome, in shape, successful men too).
So although for some men, it may be a deal breaker to initiate something, clearly it is not for all men.
Timberline has it right. It is more about the mentality and approach she has to her lifestyle. Living a "healthy" lifestyle is different from being super skinny, or extremely athletic in appearance. A woman who's approach to life is to try and make healthy decisions, work out some, and be active can be very attractive whether or not she also has some extra pounds.
Go ahead and be honest. Is it? At my job, I have a crush on this guy. I have a body shape that is definitely "more to love." The guy is kind, helpful, and friendly to me, but makes it fairly clear that he is uninterested romantically. He clearly is attracted to this other woman, however, who has a great body but... has bad teeth. The two front teeth are yellowed and slightly rotted-looking. And he is clearly attracted to her. And he is not an unkept person himself. He dresses decently and has goo hygiene. I am not saying he has to be attracted to me or anything but seriously...her over me? Even with a better by Thewoman does not take care of her MOUTH. He is interested in kissing that...? It - at least to me - also reflects how she might care for a future child`s hygiene (not wel)...etc. Maybe I am guilty of a different kind of prejudice, I don`t know.
Seriously? You know, sometimes bad things happen to people's teeth through no fault of their own. One of my friends had her teeth yellow and start to rot because of the life-saving medication she was on. It had nothing to do with her hygiene.
My ex was once spitting out pieces of his teeth because he got caught in some machinery at work and gritted his teeth to keep from screaming for the 20 minutes he was stuck there.
Dial the judgment back. Being fat isn't an issue for a lot of guys as far as attraction is concerned, but maybe it's your cattiness that's driving him off.
She wouldn't make a good mother? REALLY????
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