Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Were you very young - I mean VERY young, like 19 or under? If not, throwing slang out there in a pre-rehearsed way is...yeeesh, no.
Also, DON'T make immediate small talk about her LOOKS. OMG please don't! But especially about her clothes. That seems...I am not sure...either phony or gay? Gay would not be a bad thing in and of itself, no more "bad" than being hetero but let's face it, it doesn't scream "I'm hoping to ask this woman out," and phony is uncomfortable. Taking both of those out of the equation, it is immediately personal. You need to realize that for the most part we women are expecting and fearing that any guy approaching us is looking for a quick yinky-yinky. "Personal" even if it's shoes gets our radar up, makes us uncomfortable, and makes us want to leave.
college. my plan was since most women care a lot about shoes that she would engage since i had knowledge in something shes interested in.
Last edited by stanley-88888888; 12-19-2016 at 08:42 PM..
college. my plan was since most women care a lot about shoes that she would engage since i had knowledge in something shes interested in.
Aww...stanley...
You were trying...you really were trying.
This won't help, but I think a slightly stumbling guy who is shy just because of me (because of me? Really? Seriously? I mean...what a feeling...what a delicious and overwhelming surprise) is adorable, just mouth-watering.
The reason it doesn't help is that I'm married. And old.
BUT I can't be the only woman in the entire world who thinks a little shyness is just plain wonderful. We women aren't always the most outgoing creatures in the world, either, even though we're "supposed to" be (which is a lot of pressure, BTW). Sometimes we want to know the guy who likes us DOES have chinks in the armor. That means he's real. And accessible. And that shyness? Like he's a little bit overwhelmed? Oh my GOD. Yeah. Slay me.
Women who feel this way may be in the miniority (I don't know) but I DO believe even the most "bumbling" attempt can't be half as bad as the "rehearsed" or deliberate "I was told by my dating coach to say something nice about you" one. The thing is you already KNOW this approach doesn't work. You've proven it to yourself. So I don't have to say anything at all for this to be true, as you're the one who told me it isn't working.
Now. You're right. Being interested in what she's interested in can be great. BUT clothing...shoes...some women do those things to impress others; among those, some, specifically to impress men. Having them pointed out at the very first conversation can feel like being "called out." I don't know how to explain it, especially since later on we love it when "our" men notice such things (again, I'm generalizing but you get the idea), but from the very start...? You need to be way less personal on that very first sentence. Just don't make it about her appearance. Please. She's wary enough as it is. You're a total stranger, and she doesn't know what you want from her. If you launch right into something physical about her - yes, even those sweet boots she got at a BOGO - alarms will go off, she'll be creeped out and run away. She's just protecting herself.
Now if you were in a blatantly sexual place, say a club or bar where the majority of the "guests" were grinding away half-clothed, that would be different. I'm assuming you're not talking about such scenarios, though.
This won't help, but I think a slightly stumbling guy who is shy just because of me (because of me? Really? Seriously? I mean...what a feeling...what a delicious and overwhelming surprise) is adorable, just mouth-watering.
The reason it doesn't help is that I'm married. And old.
BUT I can't be the only woman in the entire world who thinks a little shyness is just plain wonderful. We women aren't always the most outgoing creatures in the world, either, even though we're "supposed to" be (which is a lot of pressure, BTW). Sometimes we want to know the guy who likes us DOES have chinks in the armor. That means he's real. And accessible. And that shyness? Like he's a little bit overwhelmed? Oh my GOD. Yeah. Slay me.
Women who feel this way may be in the miniority (I don't know) but I DO believe even the most "bumbling" attempt can't be half as bad as the "rehearsed" or deliberate "I was told by my dating coach to say something nice about you" one. The thing is you already KNOW this approach doesn't work. You've proven it to yourself. So I don't have to say anything at all for this to be true, as you're the one who told me it isn't working.
Now. You're right. Being interested in what she's interested in can be great. BUT clothing...shoes...some women do those things to impress others; among those, some, specifically to impress men. Having them pointed out at the very first conversation can feel like being "called out." I don't know how to explain it, especially since later on we love it when "our" men notice such things (again, I'm generalizing but you get the idea), but from the very start...? You need to be way less personal on that very first sentence. Just don't make it about her appearance. Please. She's wary enough as it is. You're a total stranger, and she doesn't know what you want from her. If you launch right into something physical about her - yes, even those sweet boots she got at a BOGO - alarms will go off, she'll be creeped out and run away. She's just protecting herself.
Now if you were in a blatantly sexual place, say a club or bar where the majority of the "guests" were grinding away half-clothed, that would be different. I'm assuming you're not talking about such scenarios, though.
Unfortunately, from my experience, they definitely seem to be in the minority, haha.
Here I just figured out what the hell "Netflix and chill" actually means after embarrassing myself by inviting the teacher and his wife over for it, and now there's a NEW euphemism? Give me strength. I can't keep up...
From Urban Dictionary:
To say nice shoes to a girl has nothing to do with what's on their feet, but what's inside their bra. Nice shoes in other words means "nice breasts".
Also:
An expression usually followed by "wanna f***" as a very bad chat up line, which does often work. The expression "Nice shoes..." can be said alone, with the hope the other person will realize what you are asking them, if they do and say yes, you've pulled, if they realize and say no, you say "i have no idea what you mean, i like your shoes".
It is also an inside joke shared between many, in which "Nice shoes..." is shouted across the room to a friend, then they reply "wanna f***?!"
From Urban Dictionary:
To say nice shoes to a girl has nothing to do with what's on their feet, but what's inside their bra. Nice shoes in other words means "nice breasts".
Also:
An expression usually followed by "wanna f***" as a very bad chat up line, which does often work. The expression "Nice shoes..." can be said alone, with the hope the other person will realize what you are asking them, if they do and say yes, you've pulled, if they realize and say no, you say "i have no idea what you mean, i like your shoes".
It is also an inside joke shared between many, in which "Nice shoes..." is shouted across the room to a friend, then they reply "wanna f***?!"
You're KIDDING me.
Well then I sure as hell have a bone to pick with that teacher!!!
Because I mean that's what he came back with after my offer.
I mean I DID wonder about him screaming "Do you wanna f---"?" right afterward but I really didn't think to ask at the time, it was just such a busy moment, you know how that dropoff/pickup School Circle can be...all those moms beeping at your car and all...but now that I know, WELL!!!! (humph)
Never even knew that the term "nice shoes" meant that. Wow...
I guess one has to have such nice shoes that she gets told so, in order to be introduced to the concept.
That leaves me out. Don't nobody want any 49-year-old pair of shoes, I assure you! I have a feeling most men look, startle backward and mumble to themselves, "No thanx, I'll go barefoot."
I'll be honest I'm a man who barely asks women out not out of some stupid fear of rejection but because I straight up don't want to there I said it. She's really got to knock my socks off and be very amazing for me to consider an approach. A lot of guys will approach a woman because she's attractive not knowing she could be a terrible person. I will get to know a woman and if I like her enough then I will ask her out.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have a feeling most men look, startle backward and mumble to themselves, "No thanx, I'll go barefoot."
