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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,758,476 times
Reputation: 41381
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Aren't you the person who hated high school and gloated because your school's reunion committee received a very small turnout and were sad and disappointed, and you thought their misery was hilarious?
So if people in high school hurt YOU that's a terrible thing, punishable literally for decades, with laughter at their pain acceptable literally years later, but for this guy, "Yeah, high school guys can be jerks, but they are mainly heterosexual males who will recognize when a woman becomes more physically attractive" in this calm, I'm-not-a-sociologist-but-I-did-stay-at-a-Holiday-Inn-Last-Night bit?
Did I say the woman should forgive them or change her opinion? Hell no.
We need pictures though! This guy may have been ugly in high school but no one told him. This 'girl' may not even remember being called ugly, or remember this guy! Maybe he still isn't memorable and she will tell him, "I don't remember any of that, I had a great time in high school, but you're still ugly."
Who says she's sensitive and caring, or are all perceived ugly women nice?
Did I say the woman should forgive them or change her opinion? Hell no.
You are making light of and making less of her pain by saying this is simply typical behavior of males - that they judge on the physical. That IS the intimation here.
I am wondering why, in that case, you do not give a casual "but this is just the way kids are, they can be jerks sometimes, plus all of category X of people naturally feels such-and-such-a-way" excuses (yes, they are excuses, sorry) for the kids who hurt you. Why was that entirely horrific and why were you fully justified in your hatred reaction even decades later, but a girl being literally called ugly throughout a sensitive time, then approached for hopeful sex is a natural thing for "heterosexual males"?
Aren't you the person who hated high school and gloated because your school's reunion committee received a very small turnout and were sad and disappointed, and you thought their misery was hilarious?
So if people in high school hurt YOU that's a terrible thing, punishable literally for decades, with laughter at their pain acceptable literally years later, but for this guy, "Yeah, high school guys can be jerks, but they are mainly heterosexual males who will recognize when a woman becomes more physically attractive" in this calm, I'm-not-a-sociologist-but-I-did-stay-at-a-Holiday-Inn-Last-Night bit?
because when guys do something shallow or crappy, it's just guys being guys. when women do it, OH NOOOOOOOO!!!! HOW DARE THEY!!!!!! THOSE EVIL, EVIL TEMPTRESSES!!!!!!!!
We need pictures though! This guy may have been ugly in high school but no one told him. This 'girl' may not even remember being called ugly, or remember this guy! Maybe he still isn't memorable and she will tell him, "I don't remember any of that, I had a great time in high school, but you're still ugly."
Who says she's sensitive and caring, or are all perceived ugly women nice?
I don't think she was necessarily nice (nobody can know that), or sensitive and caring, and no, "ugly" people are not necessarily sensitive and caring, I just think being called ugly in front of friends is, for the overwhelming majority of young people, male or female, a horrific experience.
Even for a person who is a jerk in some way, such a thing is bound to be scarring.
A few teens will be strong enough to simply not let that affect them. A very, very few. Years later the feeling will certainly soften, particularly with perspective and maturity...but hearing from such a person again years later because now you look do-able? Probably not going to meet with "heck yes, I'm in."
JMO. Honestly, we can all only guess. Maybe this woman is a terrible person. Or maybe she's a saint. Or maybe she's in between. No matter what, even for a total hoser, being picked on is not bound to be a pleasant memory and even if one is essentially "over" it, s/he will probably not greet the return of this person with an enthusiastic "Oh, now you find me sexually attractive? Okay, so, your place or mine?"
We need pictures though! This guy may have been ugly in high school but no one told him. This 'girl' may not even remember being called ugly, or remember this guy! Maybe he still isn't memorable and she will tell him, "I don't remember any of that, I had a great time in high school, but you're still ugly."
Who says she's sensitive and caring, or are all perceived ugly women nice?
it would be funny if he got fat and ugly now. I see a lot of former male classmates on Facebook... let's just say time has not been on their side.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,758,476 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
You are making light of and making less of her pain by saying this is simply typical behavior of males - that they judge on the physical. That IS the intimation here.
I am wondering why, in that case, you do not give a casual "but this is just the way kids are, they can be jerks sometimes, plus all of category X of people naturally feels such-and-such-a-way" excuses (yes, they are excuses, sorry) for the kids who hurt you. Why was that entirely horrific and why were you fully justified in your hatred reaction even decades later, but a girl being literally called ugly throughout a sensitive time, then approached for hopeful sex is a natural thing for "heterosexual males"?
I didn't say it was right, I only say this is something that could happen since men notice good looking women more than non good looking women. No more no less.
I never said my reaction was justified just the way I felt. No more no less.
I don't think she was necessarily nice (nobody can know that), I just think being called ugly in front of friends is, for the overwhelming majority of young people, male or female, a horrific experience.
True. I was just immediately brought back to a really awful looking guy who would have to make the time to say things to me in HS. Can't remember if I saw him as ugly bc of his face or personality. Either way, I think it's easier to grow out of the physical ugly than an ugly personality. She's probably 'way out of his league' by now.
Whenever I see people from high school, I go out of my way to avoid them, ESPECIALLY the guys who picked on my flat, pancake booty back in the day.
I'm the same way to the girls who picked on me and called me ugly. One of them said she was going to be my prom date and then showed up with another guy claiming it was a joke! I saw her and she spoke to me but I ignored and avoided her. I'll never forgive those who wronged me.
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I saw her and she spoke to me but I ignored and avoided her. I'll never forgive those who wronged me.
