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Wow! So many of you are being spiteful against a man who has shown nothing but love, dedication, downright obsession in the OP, yet ya'll take a big ol' warm dump on him for being persistent ?
The man is trying to reconnect with a woman he fancied back in the days, he even offered her help as well ?
Give him credit for going out of his way and risking rejection and embarrassment.
We only have a finite amount of time in this universe, may as well "get it in" while you can.
People suggesting the OP to block him, "just move on girl!"..."he's a loser!"..."you can do better"...
Ummm, folks, we're OLD(er)! We don't have all the time in the world. Clock is ticking. Giddy up.
You sound like the sort who'll take whatever is thrown at him just to have something.
Sending you checks after all this time is just a way for him to keep you on the line so you won't block him on FB, won't change your phone number, etc. He's hoping he can buy his way back into your good graces, and probably expects his charm from 20 years ago to do the rest.
I see no problem with cashing the checks he sends, considering the way he left you. Just block his number when he calls you, and don't respond to him on FB... unless you want to string him along for a few more checks LOL
One of your interests is: getting lost on the road less traveled. This is what's ( going on) with this attarction. He may be this "sense of adventure" for you. How did your life change after he left?
I take it, there was no communications as well. He may be sick or something, too. Some type of recovery? 12 step program? You said, he drank? What's the worst that can happen if you meet him now? There was no closure, correct?
Last edited by thegreenflute334; 04-02-2017 at 01:41 PM..
Reason: Added more with thinking
The minute you accepted the Facebook request you let him in. Correct that mistake and block him now. I would concentrate on meeting people so that I wouldn't be as vulnerable to him again.
Sixty-three is NOT old! I'm 70 and still have some life in me.
It's not karma. What is however, is doing what you were doing before which could be a sign of insanity because it didn't work 20 years go and it won't work now as it's nothing more than selfishness on his part and an obvious snare that you're willingly letting into your life.
You need to pay attention to this excellent advice.
So when are you going to start or do you enjoy the adventure, excitement and drama this is bringing with it? Why did you post this when you already know what you should do? Clearly you don't really need our insight.
Oh, Curmudgeon, I agree with everything you posted except for your last sentence! BTW, I really appreciate a man from my own generation chiming in on the conversation.
I do indeed need the insight of others because I seem to have somehow gone to war with myself. As they say, "The distance from the head to the heart is a 1,000 miles," and right now the distance from my head to my heart seems to be approaching infinity. I was far too cavalier in Glenn's regard when he showed back up on Facebook. It was all so long ago, and I felt that I'd come to accept the probability that I'll never re-marry, much less have a close connection with any man. Now I'm paying the price for my false sense of complacency. I discover that I really do want someone to stand beside me and I am so very, very tired of "traveling alone." Glenn knows me all too well, he's still the same silver tongued devil he always was - from that little catch in his voice to way he says all those beautiful words. I love poetry, and I write poems of my own, but Glenn can speak poems into my ear and I get lost under his spell yet one more time.
I feel so foolish; I feel so lost; I feel exactly the way I did the first night we ever met; I feel more than a little crazy and I'm desperately seeking that hard won emotional equilibrium that I had until I so foolishly threw it away by finally accepting Glenn's "friend" request. Indeed, there's no fool like an old fool! The input from others means a great deal to me right now, and I thank every single person who replied to this thread, especially you!
People like Glenn NEVER change. He's a narcissist and cares only about himself.
He hurt you in the past. He will hurt you again, and again, and again...IF YOU LET HIM.
The best thing you could do for yourself is to block him from your phone and FB immediately. If he should ever show up on your doorstep, do NOT let him in. Call the police to have him removed, if necessary. It's better for you to be a little lonely and at peace, than to let a user like him back into your life to break your heart again.
I'm curious about what happened to the daughter, too.
Oh, Curmudgeon, I agree with everything you posted except for your last sentence! BTW, I really appreciate a man from my own generation chiming in on the conversation.
I do indeed need the insight of others because I seem to have somehow gone to war with myself. As they say, "The distance from the head to the heart is a 1,000 miles," and right now the distance from my head to my heart seems to be approaching infinity. I was far too cavalier in Glenn's regard when he showed back up on Facebook. It was all so long ago, and I felt that I'd come to accept the probability that I'll never re-marry, much less have a close connection with any man. Now I'm paying the price for my false sense of complacency. I discover that I really do want someone to stand beside me and I am so very, very tired of "traveling alone." Glenn knows me all too well, he's still the same silver tongued devil he always was - from that little catch in his voice to way he says all those beautiful words. I love poetry, and I write poems of my own, but Glenn can speak poems into my ear and I get lost under his spell yet one more time.
I feel so foolish; I feel so lost; I feel exactly the way I did the first night we ever met; I feel more than a little crazy and I'm desperately seeking that hard won emotional equilibrium that I had until I so foolishly threw it away by finally accepting Glenn's "friend" request. Indeed, there's no fool like an old fool! The input from others means a great deal to me right now, and I thank every single person who replied to this thread, especially you!
My dear Ms. Rambler, point #1, knawk it awf! Either win the war or make a strategic advance to the rear and bury it once and for all. That's soldier talk for a final withdrawal.
Point #2, never say never. Going on 26 years ago I met a woman at work who, as I later learned, had been divorced for 13 years at that time and wanted nothing to do with men. After five years of appropriate office friendship and when she was employed elsewhere I asked her out. She was very hesitant and leery but I have a deep, persuasive voice, she trusted me and she almost begrudgingly accepted my invitation. Two months later we married. So you see, it can happen to anyone.
Point #3, you're not old, damnit. That's just stinkin' thinkin'; sumpin' else to knawk awf.
I agree, block him immediately on all communication. Accepting his friend request and talking to him was enough for him to think you just may be interested. Are you sure you want to accept his money? You could return unopened whatever he mails to you. Do you really feel comfortable accepting his money?
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