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Thirdly. Where you are living is, in my opinion, the worst place for you right now. Oh, it may be beautiful, the mountains and other gorgeous scenery. But that kind of isolation is going to play on your loneliness (yes you are lonely) and the fact that without transportation you cannot get to medical help and counseling. You need to get out of there. A move does not have to be permanent. But getting help for yourself is vital.
You gave good advice except for the part above. The OP has said repeatedly that she LOVES where she lives. If anything, the thought of leaving a place she loves to be with him has been an incentive not to go be with him.
I live in the mountains myself and some of us thrive there.
You gave good advice except for the part above. The OP has said repeatedly that she LOVES where she lives. If anything, the thought of leaving a place she loves to be with him has been an incentive not to go be with him.
I live in the mountains myself and some of us thrive there.
You might have missed the important part. A move would not have to be forever. But where she is living now is in no way conducive to her getting medical help and counseling. I agree, living in the mountains would be wonderful, but CR does have some problems and without reliable transportation, she won't get the help she needs.
You don't love yourself enough. A woman who loved herself, would drop-kick a man to another universe for way less than what this "gentleman" has done to you.
Since you are still susceptible to romantic feelings, you should be dating. Ideally, you should be dating several men in order to keep some objectivity. I have no clue why you decided you were too old to have a relationship. You aren't dead yet.
He only looks tempting because you have forgotten that there are plenty of other fish in the sea. They are better fish that would add to your happiness instead of destroy it.
All that you ever were to this man is an interchangeable part, as evidenced by his contacting other former girlfriends at the same time as you. He isn't capable of love. He doesn't even have any particular preference which old girlfriend it is.
First off, if you open an envelope, you can't write return to sender on it. The post office won't accept opened mailed without new postage.
Secondly, you're going to take his money? Then why on earth did you ever post this? You love the attention. You love the drama. You love the game. You seriously need professional help. Sick and twisted.
This is the very last time I'm going to respond to this silly envelope/check thing. I'm beginning to understand how Hillary must feel over that never ending e-mails controversy. I didn't start the thread to get checks or envelopes. I got exactly one check from the dude and as I stated before, it is highly unlikely that any more mail from him of any kind will show up in my mailbox because I've already stepped out of the game. BFD, I cashed one money order for a hundred bucks that I never asked for. I never was trying to get money out of him to begin with and I don't want any money out of him now. If you or anyone else around here want to call me "sick and twisted" because I cashed one money order from a from an SOB who owes me about a hundred of the damn things, then maybe you should just go take a look in the mirror.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
Why haven't you blocked his number on your phone and why haven't you blocked him from Facebook?
Because FB is actually no big deal for me. I use it a couple of times a week mostly to find out what my cousins in Kentucky are up to. It's not like I'm on there 24/7 hovering anxiously in cyberspace to check out what's going on in FB. I've already blocked him before there, so he just uses his kids' FB accounts if he feels like sending me a message. I'm not going to block his two younger children and I'm not going to rat their Dad out to them. I believe it was you who advised "no drama."
As for my cell phone - I feel perfectly fine with just ignoring his calls. I was already ignoring about 90% of them as it was. I don't feel like going to all the trouble of figuring out how to block calls ona cell phone right now - it's a trick I've never learned and because quite honestly, all this BS with him or the past few weeks has left me so exhausted that my immune system has gone down and I'm worried that this bad spring cold I came down with over the weekend may turn into pneumonia - especially since I was recently exposed to pneumonia when a friend came down with it late last week. I have an appointment to see my doctor tomorrow and I don't feel like dinking around with the damn cell phone right now. It has a ring tone that announces the caller's name if it's on my "contacts" list: The ring tone goes, "Ring, ring! - phone call from [Glenn] - ring, ring!" So it actually acts as a pretty good warning device to not take that call. It works for me. Plus neither he or anyone else can clutter up my voice mail with messages because the cell reception out here is so bad that messages usually get dropped before a caller can say so much as a word. And again, wasn't it you who advised "just don't pick up his calls"?
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542
Hi Colorado Rambler. I've been reading this thread and think you have received some excellent advice. Here are a couple of things I am thinking about.
First of all, whenever someone sends me a friend request on FB, I turn it down. Then I get a message from FB telling me that person has been blocked and will never know I did that. There is a setting in your account that you can get to avoid getting unwanted requests. Look in the help area for this info.
Secondly, when I was doing al-anon meetings and weekly counseling, any unhealthy activity or thoughts I had would be countered with.... what are you getting from this? Some kind of reward. Like.... feeling you deserve to be mistreated, etc. So you let it continue because it feeds that need. Or my life was pretty dull and I craved something exciting, so accepted insanity as a way of getting that need filled.
Thirdly. Where you are living is, in my opinion, the worst place for you right now. Oh, it may be beautiful, the mountains and other gorgeous scenery. But that kind of isolation is going to play on your loneliness (yes you are lonely) and the fact that without transportation you cannot get to medical help and counseling. You need to get out of there. A move does not have to be permanent. But getting help for yourself is vital.
The mind can play some wicked games if we have too much time and no help to counter it.
My ex called me after being divorced 30+ years..... said he wanted to send me an anniversary card..... what?????? Wanted me to friend him on FB. Nooooooo. He is on his third marriage (at least that was true a few years ago, he may be into the 4th by now).
As the old commercial says, I've come a long way baby. Not going backward. I sincerely hope you do not go backward either!
You are a very good friend to me on this board, but I have to tell you that on this one, I know what I'm doing. Sure, it can feel very isolated and lonely around here - especially in the winter and I'm sure I've complained about that a time or two. But it's not like I'm a hermit sitting on top of some 14,000 ft mountain peak, surrounded by clouds. I have my 2 cats and my dog for companionship and things have really started to work out well with my roommate and we've adjusted to sharing our living space together fair well, IMO. My roommate has become a pretty good friend to me when all's said and done, so it's not as if I'm all alone. I talk on the phone with my best friend back in town and another friend of mine who had left this area recently decided to return and he often drops by to visit. I have a spiritual community here which I cherish deeply. My country actually offers me 3 free round trip taxi rides between here and town every week and that's a pretty darn good deal. Maybe my small town ain't NYC, but maybe I'm just fine with that.
It would be crazy for me to pull up stakes and go move to some to some big city where I don't know a soul and in an environment that I would loathe. I hate the noise of cities; I hate the crowded highways. I hate the crime; I hate the fact that you can't even see the stars at night; I hate the fact that half the time it's hard to breathe the air because it's so polluted. If I left here, it would be very hard to return. Leaving here for an urban area would mean a move of 400 miles and I'd have to cover the costs of that, plus rent deposits, plus utilities deposits, etc. All that would leave me flat broke because - as you know, I don't have all that much money. The other thing is, how would leaving my small circle of friends and my little spiritual community here in exchange for life in a big city where I know no one and where I'd have to spend considerable time re-building some sort of social network be such a great thing for me? It simply would not. I'd absolutely despise my surroundings and I'd have no one to talk to and I can't think of an easier way to get re-involved with Glenn who would be living right down the road.
I understand that many if not most people don't share my same love for the solace of empty spaces and a vast clear horizon and the magnificent beauty of high mesas and mountains. There are a few of us who do however, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm perfectly comfortable with pulling my truck over to talk with a man I meet somewhere on a jeep trail up in the San Juan Mountains, but you better not speak to strangers you may encounter on city streets in Denver.
To move to a city couldn't be more wrong for me.
Now I'm going to stop quibbling over Facebook and envelopes and go take a bunch of vitamin C and aspirin and go to sleep. This has turned ridiculous.
This is the very last time I'm going to respond to this silly envelope/check thing. I'm beginning to understand how Hillary must feel over that never ending e-mails controversy. I didn't start the thread to get checks or envelopes. I got exactly one check from the dude and as I stated before, it is highly unlikely that any more mail from him of any kind will show up in my mailbox because I've already stepped out of the game. BFD, I cashed one money order for a hundred bucks that I never asked for. I never was trying to get money out of him to begin with and I don't want any money out of him now. If you or anyone else around here want to call me "sick and twisted" because I cashed one money order from a from an SOB who owes me about a hundred of the damn things, then maybe you should just go take a look in the mirror.
You're the one who brought up that he sent you a check. You're the one who said you would open the mail and keep the checks and send the letters back. You claim you want nothing to do with him, but that's not what your actions are saying at all.
Cashing a check or money order from him gives him power and keeps him in your life. If you truly want nothing to do with him, you would block him on Facebook, block his phone number from calling you, return ALL mail to him, etc. You're not doing any of these things. You are playing the game. You are causing drama.
I don't need to look in a mirror. When I want nothing to do with a person, I don't accept them on Facebook. I don't email, call, or text them. I don't give them my address. I refuse anything they mail to me. I do not accept them into my life. So yeah I'm not the one who needs to look in a mirror.
Colorado Rambler: Just so you know, I don't live in NYC.
I frequently seek out places I can be alone with my thoughts in areas of beauty (to me). But to live there to satisfy that need and not be able to get the help I've had over the years...... I'd probably be dead by now. So I do understand that part of the beauty of nature and how it can revive us.
And from some P.M.'s that we have exchanged, you've left me with the impression that your vehicle is not working and had no way of getting anywhere. That is how I drew the conclusions I have.
Just so you know.
I probably won't do P.M.s anymore. For my own sanity. I care about it.
Colorado Rambler: Just so you know, I don't live in NYC.
I frequently seek out places I can be alone with my thoughts in areas of beauty (to me). But to live there to satisfy that need and not be able to get the help I've had over the years...... I'd probably be dead by now. So I do understand that part of the beauty of nature and how it can revive us.
And from some P.M.'s that we have exchanged, you've left me with the impression that your vehicle is not working and had no way of getting anywhere. That is how I drew the conclusions I have.
Just so you know.
I probably won't do P.M.s anymore. For my own sanity. I care about it.
I am truly sorry. That reply was all about me running a fever and being stressed out to the max. I really do think I may be coming down with pneumonia.
I'll send you a DM when I'm not running a high fever and if you choose to not reply to it I can hardly blame you.
This is the very last time I'm going to respond to this silly envelope/check thing. I'm beginning to understand how Hillary must feel over that never ending e-mails controversy. I didn't start the thread to get checks or envelopes. I got exactly one check from the dude and as I stated before, it is highly unlikely that any more mail from him of any kind will show up in my mailbox because I've already stepped out of the game. BFD, I cashed one money order for a hundred bucks that I never asked for. I never was trying to get money out of him to begin with and I don't want any money out of him now. If you or anyone else around here want to call me "sick and twisted" because I cashed one money order from a from an SOB who owes me about a hundred of the damn things, then maybe you should just go take a look in the mirror.
Because FB is actually no big deal for me. I use it a couple of times a week mostly to find out what my cousins in Kentucky are up to. It's not like I'm on there 24/7 hovering anxiously in cyberspace to check out what's going on in FB. I've already blocked him before there, so he just uses his kids' FB accounts if he feels like sending me a message. I'm not going to block his two younger children and I'm not going to rat their Dad out to them. I believe it was you who advised "no drama."
As for my cell phone - I feel perfectly fine with just ignoring his calls. I was already ignoring about 90% of them as it was. I don't feel like going to all the trouble of figuring out how to block calls ona cell phone right now - it's a trick I've never learned and because quite honestly, all this BS with him or the past few weeks has left me so exhausted that my immune system has gone down and I'm worried that this bad spring cold I came down with over the weekend may turn into pneumonia - especially since I was recently exposed to pneumonia when a friend came down with it late last week. I have an appointment to see my doctor tomorrow and I don't feel like dinking around with the damn cell phone right now. It has a ring tone that announces the caller's name if it's on my "contacts" list: The ring tone goes, "Ring, ring! - phone call from [Glenn] - ring, ring!" So it actually acts as a pretty good warning device to not take that call. It works for me. Plus neither he or anyone else can clutter up my voice mail with messages because the cell reception out here is so bad that messages usually get dropped before a caller can say so much as a word. And again, wasn't it you who advised "just don't pick up his calls"?
You are a very good friend to me on this board, but I have to tell you that on this one, I know what I'm doing. Sure, it can feel very isolated and lonely around here - especially in the winter and I'm sure I've complained about that a time or two. But it's not like I'm a hermit sitting on top of some 14,000 ft mountain peak, surrounded by clouds. I have my 2 cats and my dog for companionship and things have really started to work out well with my roommate and we've adjusted to sharing our living space together fair well, IMO. My roommate has become a pretty good friend to me when all's said and done, so it's not as if I'm all alone. I talk on the phone with my best friend back in town and another friend of mine who had left this area recently decided to return and he often drops by to visit. I have a spiritual community here which I cherish deeply. My country actually offers me 3 free round trip taxi rides between here and town every week and that's a pretty darn good deal. Maybe my small town ain't NYC, but maybe I'm just fine with that.
It would be crazy for me to pull up stakes and go move to some to some big city where I don't know a soul and in an environment that I would loathe. I hate the noise of cities; I hate the crowded highways. I hate the crime; I hate the fact that you can't even see the stars at night; I hate the fact that half the time it's hard to breathe the air because it's so polluted. If I left here, it would be very hard to return. Leaving here for an urban area would mean a move of 400 miles and I'd have to cover the costs of that, plus rent deposits, plus utilities deposits, etc. All that would leave me flat broke because - as you know, I don't have all that much money. The other thing is, how would leaving my small circle of friends and my little spiritual community here in exchange for life in a big city where I know no one and where I'd have to spend considerable time re-building some sort of social network be such a great thing for me? It simply would not. I'd absolutely despise my surroundings and I'd have no one to talk to and I can't think of an easier way to get re-involved with Glenn who would be living right down the road.
I understand that many if not most people don't share my same love for the solace of empty spaces and a vast clear horizon and the magnificent beauty of high mesas and mountains. There are a few of us who do however, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm perfectly comfortable with pulling my truck over to talk with a man I meet somewhere on a jeep trail up in the San Juan Mountains, but you better not speak to strangers you may encounter on city streets in Denver.
To move to a city couldn't be more wrong for me.
Now I'm going to stop quibbling over Facebook and envelopes and go take a bunch of vitamin C and aspirin and go to sleep. This has turned ridiculous.
OK. It's pretty clear to me and others that you like a bit of drama. Carry on.
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