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Why do women and men reconnect with long time past boyfriends/girlfriends? Because there is that memory of all the good things, the chemistry, the "firsts" you shared. You don't really remember the negatives. Interestingly, I had an old high school sweetheart contact me a few years ago. I had, over the years during the "worst" times of my marriage, remembered him fondly and wished I could feel that same feeling of being adored. The only reason we had gone our separate ways is because I had moved several states away. After I left, he got into drugs, which I didn't approve of. Then he moved one state away, but I was newly married at the time, so I just went on with my life. So, finally, almost 30 years later he contacted me after getting my cell number from a mutual friend. We had one conversation. His voice was exactly the same! But then he started talking. Turns out he was extremely racist. Like, over the top racist. Not something we had ever discussed in our teen love stage. All I could think was, thank goodness we went our separate ways so many years ago. I could never have lived with someone like that. Ever.
I am truly sorry. That reply was all about me running a fever and being stressed out to the max. I really do think I may be coming down with pneumonia.
Please get some medical aid. I had a pneumonia for six weeks -- I thought it would never resolve.
At this stage of our lives pneumonia can be dangerous. This is not the time to hole up and self-treat.
You have unfinished business with this man. Say what you have to say and move on. Then block him.
He damaged you and his children. Walking out on his children is abhorrent and selfish. His children should have been his priority. You owe him nothing. Return the money and do not accept any other mail from him.
I apologize if the OP takes offense to this, but believe me, I'm speaking from experience, as I was there once to....
rather then to seek answers the first thing I'd do is cut him off completely....out of your life
the next thing I'd do (and this is just me) I'd do some very heavy duty self evaluation....meaning, you've got to figure out, why you chose someone with so little concern for your heart....or for anyone else for that matter. This is unacceptable behavior....why would you allow this person even remotely back in your life?
When you start to self evaluate, you realize, you must have seen flags, than the next question should be, why would I allow someone to treat me so badly? I didn't deserve this?
Was I hungry to have someone in my life so badly that I allowed this person to do this to me?
Was I hurting financially and thought the extra income would help?
Was I with him for all the WRONG REASONS?
It's not his job to MAKE me happy, nor my job to MAKE him happy, if we're not already confident and happy in life, no one else can do it for us.
Did I lack that much confidence in myself that I was willing to accept this kind of treatment?
This isn't love, is it?
yanno, when I think about it....yes, he was terribly and morally wrong, but what is wrong with me that I was willing to accept so little. My parents didn't raise me to have such little respect for myself.
I've got to take time to re-evaluate me, and the heck with blaming him, I already know, he couldn't make me happy....
There is a whole lot of really good self help online to read....if nothing else, good reading material...but you need to sit back, kick your feet up and do some serious self examination, come to terms with your weaknesses, own them, than fix them.
And that my friend, starts a whole new perspective within....it's a long road, but well worth it.
Here is a sample....just to give you an idea might not reflect on you, but remember, educating yourself in all things is power and food for the soul.
At the end of the day, we stay in bad relationships, or gravitate toward bad relationships, or allow bad relationships back into our lives because we are getting something out of them. Until we figure out what that is and how to replace that unbalanced need with a healthier desire, we won't stop the cycle.
I think this man realizes he is getting older, and will need someone around in his older years, to help him out, take care of him. I think he is not in love with anyone but himself.
I'd bet anything that Glenn is having financial difficulties and is either homeless or one step away from it. If he could come live with you, that would be great!
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