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Update : He's left. I called him and tried to get him to reconsider but he keeps mentioning the packaging of the pills and how it's impossible that I could have forgotten without knowing soon enough. What do I say to him?
You don't have to tell us but you do have to be honest with yourself.
Did you wait because deep down you knew he'd want to have you abort and you didn't want to?
If that has some truth to it, there's probably little you can say to him.
Update : He's left. I called him and tried to get him to reconsider but he keeps mentioning the packaging of the pills and how it's impossible that I could have forgotten without knowing soon enough. What do I say to him?
Does he think you got pregnant on purpose? And then waited to tell him until you were too far along have an abortion?
I can understand his anger. The next day when it was time to take your pill, if you had noticed that you missed a pill the day before, you could have taken Plan B.
What do you say to him:
"Listen, I didn't do this on purpose. I didn't intend to get pregnant. I wasn't (still aren't?) ready to have a baby. But the fact of the matter is, I am pregnant. Now we need to figure out what our next steps are."
Looks like you are going to be dealing with this without him. Do you have supportive family and friends? No matter what you decide to do, you shouldn't have to go through this alone.
OP shouldn't be selfish. Give the baby up for adoption. Plenty of married, stable, financially comfortable couples desperate for a baby who will give it a better life than you ever could. In eighteen years you can find each other and you will be seen as a heroine and probably have a much better relationship than you would have had if you'd kept the kid in your stressful life.
I should have clarified. I meant he's left the country.
I'm sorry. Do you have your own health insurance & family near by that can help you? If you don't have insurance, I think many states offer care for pregnant women. Take care of yourself.
HUGS
eta if he runs away at thus, then he is not the man for you. Tough, but true.
While it will be seen as unrealistic in this day and age for many, this is why you shouldn't be having sex if you don't want a child.
BC isn't flawless, it's only a preventive measure that still has a percentage of failure associated to it and will fail under spefic circumstances regardless of its intended use.
I can't tell you what you should do OP, that's your choice to make.
What I will tell you is you're going to have to change your mindset from innocent young lady to willing to grow and learn young parent if this child stays in your life.
While it will be seen as unrealistic in this day and age for many, this is why you shouldn't be having sex if you don't want a child.
BC isn't flawless, it's only a preventive measure that still has a percentage of failure associated to it and will fail under spefic circumstances regardless of its intended use.
I can't tell you what you should do OP, that's your choice to make.
What I will tell you is you're going to have to change your mindset from innocent young lady to willing to grow and learn young parent if this child stays in your life.
I do think it's unrealistic. I know almost no one who only has sex if they want a child.
Also, is this advice only for unmarried women?
Or also for men?
Or what about married women, when the husband complains about a sexless relationship, can she say, "Well, I don't want a baby right now."...? Is that reasonable justification to not have sex with your partner in a marriage?
Also, sometimes unintended pregnancies work out ok. Many people have kids when they aren't ready, but grow up and figure it out quick.
And how lucky to be a gay person and get a pass on this "no sex unless babies" rule, huh?
I see the "well you shouldn't have had sex" arguments as just being unnecessarily righteous, a way to say someone deserves whatever hardship they are in. I mean, always after the fact anyways, where it's too late to roll back the clock and un-consent, so what is the point? Accepting that you are to blame for something hardly solves the problem.
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