Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I do think it's unrealistic. I know almost no one who only has sex if they want a child.
Also, is this advice only for unmarried women?
Or also for men?
Or what about married women, when the husband complains about a sexless relationship, can she say, "Well, I don't want a baby right now."...? Is that reasonable justification to not have sex with your partner in a marriage?
Also, sometimes unintended pregnancies work out ok. Many people have kids when they aren't ready, but grow up and figure it out quick.
And how lucky to be a gay person and get a pass on this "no sex unless babies" rule, huh?
I see the "well you shouldn't have had sex" arguments as just being unnecessarily righteous, a way to say someone deserves whatever hardship they are in. I mean, always after the fact anyways, where it's too late to roll back the clock and un-consent, so what is the point? Accepting that you are to blame for something hardly solves the problem.
Gender really has no affect on general advice. It's inclusion only serves to further someone own agenda based within those parameters. So, no what I said does not relate to one sex.
Accepting your role in things is part of acceptance in general.
Which is part of the "solving" your plot in life and becoming coherent to how your choices affect the world surrounding you and yourself. It's how we become aware and make the choices to help ourselves not grow to resent in hindsight.
Obviously young people lack a lot of this self reflection, that's just how life works.
However, nothing trumps the fact that You made and took the choice all of your own.
it's time to live with the consequences of those actions. It doesn't matter how "unfair" the world feels to you, It's now fact.
The possibility of children is something every sexually actively couple should consider before themselves.
People call this unrealistic due to their hormones influencing their choices and having the fallback of birth control to alleviate this kind of worry, I call it being as real as it gets.
Last edited by rego00123; 07-19-2017 at 03:18 PM..
Gender really has no affect on general advice. It's inclusion only serves to further someone own agendas based within those parameters. So, no what I said does not relate to one sex.
Accepting your role in things is part of acceptance in general.
Which is part of the "solving" your plot in life and becoming coherent to how your choices affect the world surrounding you and yourself.
Obviously young people lack a lot of this self reflection, that's just how life works.
You made the choice. Now it's time to live with the consequences of those actions.
Well yes, but she has to do that regardless. So you're stating the obvious there.
And young people have always had lapses in wisdom, judgment, and responsibility, it's sort of natural since their brains aren't done cooking.
Which is why people like me have been like, "who cares about the skipped pill or whatever, go to the doctor and make a plan now!" In a situation like this, less focus on working out who to point fingers at, and more focus on what needs to be done, might be for the best. What is she supposed to do, curl up in a corner and wallow in guilt for being a bad, bad girl? No. She should get off her behind and go see a doctor and decide if she's keeping this baby (and if so, how) or if she's giving him/her up (and if so, how.)
I'm sorry I just don't see the point in the whole, "you made your bed, young lady" thing.
There are probably thousand of couples that would love to have a baby but cant for one reason or another. Good people with the means, just waiting for the chance. Some will even pay your hospital bills. They want one that bad. Consider it.
Well yes, but she has to do that regardless. So you're stating the obvious there.
And young people have always had lapses in wisdom, judgment, and responsibility, it's sort of natural since their brains aren't done cooking.
Which is why people like me have been like, "who cares about the skipped pill or whatever, go to the doctor and make a plan now!" In a situation like this, less focus on working out who to point fingers at, and more focus on what needs to be done, might be for the best. What is she supposed to do, curl up in a corner and wallow in guilt for being a bad, bad girl? No. She should get off her behind and go see a doctor and decide if she's keeping this baby (and if so, how) or if she's giving him/her up (and if so, how.)
I'm sorry I just don't see the point in the whole, "you made your bed, young lady" thing.
Your free to not respond if my posts are not to your own personal sensibilities.
I posted (what I did) because the OP does not come across as being proactive, she is still stuck on how her bf is reacting and worried about everything that may be surrounding her.
She needs to wake up and start accepting things for herself.
The rest has already been said by others, I felt no need to reiterate it for the fifth time over in different words that it's good idea to seek a professional for the sake of her mental and emotional health and the health of her unborn child.
Your free to not respond if my posts are not to your own personal sensibilities.
I posted (what I did) because the OP does not come across as being proactive, she is still stuck on how her bf is reacting and worried about everything that may be surrounding her.
She needs to wake up and start accepting things for herself.
The rest has already been said by others, I felt no need to reiterate it for the fifth time over in different words that it's good idea to seek a professional for the sake of her mental and emotional health and the health of her unborn child.
I'm not here to make decisions for the OP.
I agree that she seems stuck on the BF situation. I mean, I get that's kinda traumatic that they fought and he left and now she's got to figure this out alone. But he made his choice, now she's got to make hers.
I hope she breaks free of the denial and the stuck-ness and does sensible things soon.
Update : He's left. I called him and tried to get him to reconsider but he keeps mentioning the packaging of the pills and how it's impossible that I could have forgotten without knowing soon enough. What do I say to him?
Remember that you only have about six months left until that baby comes out of you.
I think you should make sure he's calm before you pull him aside, and reflect on your relationship with him and try to get him mushy, and talk about what you want for the future... Then drop the bomb that the future is now.
But if he rejects you and you can't handle it financially, consider putting the child up for open adoption, which is when the parents who adopt the child support and raise him/her, but the biological parent still gets to be part of their life.
Update : He's left. I called him and tried to get him to reconsider but he keeps mentioning the packaging of the pills and how it's impossible that I could have forgotten without knowing soon enough. What do I say to him?
I'm sorry.
Do you mean "what do I say to him to get him to come back"? Unfortunately, there are no magic words. You're going to have to allow him some time to cool off. What he does after that is his choice.
I should have clarified. I meant he's left the country.
Are you saying, your boyfriend, the man that got you preggers , is /has left the country?
Leave the country, as in goodbye? What a wuss! Unless you are pulling our legs. To run away like a friggen' baby, because of a baby? people still do that crap?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
