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I'm just not sure if I'd find anyone properly suited to me. The problem I have presents itself as a sort of paradox. On one hand I have long hair, smoke weed, and play in a rock band. This, my outward appearance alone will attract more hippie-type girls. However, these same sorts of women, though they can be quite pretty, tend to party a lot and sleep around. I just wouldn't be able to handle a girl like that.
By contrast, if would I go for women who were more quiet and studious, like myself, there would also be problems. These girls tend to be harder to find, and even if I found one she may be turned off by my appearance, or my weed habit. Thus, I'm torn between going by my outward appearance versus my own personality. I doubt there's very many women out there who are attractive, don't party or sleep around, listen to psychedelic rock, smoke weed, don't subscribe to the leftist dogma that is present everywhere where I live, AND happen to be into things like history, Germanic culture, and linguistics. That type of woman does not exist, I'm almost universally convinced.
With a nice, positive attitude like that, you should go far!
Odin, she doesn't have to be your exact duplicate. And just because someone's studious and doesn't party doesn't mean they don't like guys with long hair and noisy music. Or are closed to the idea of doing weed. You have a lot of limiting beliefs, here. You're thinking in stereotypes, while the real world is breathtakingly diverse.
Besides, you haven't even begun to look around; you say you only recently changed your major to German/Germanic, and you haven't had any idea where to look for the non-party girls. So, you're basically at Square One, after 3 years of college. The fact is, you have no idea what's out there, waiting to be discovered.
I have no doubt that there are studious, intellectual and creative women who hold your same illusions; that all the guys at their school are into partying. Some of these women spend some of their Fri. nights ordering pizza with their dormies, who likewise aren't into the party scene. Others find stuff to do, like some kind of campus club, the poetry open-mic, or may organize their own interest group, or hang out with the local medieval group in town (which I mentioned earlier), or other groups.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 08-14-2017 at 02:53 PM..
Norne,I just love the Norns (from the old Norse myth) who are suppose to weave and write our fate.I think you don't find love, it finds you.Eventually Odin you will end up where you need to be,with who you're meant to be with,doing what you should be doing.
And indoorsy,bookish girls who like studying ancient cultures exist,plenty of them,I should know I am one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Norne
Rubbish! I started learning German at 20-something and have mastered it just fine.
Don't worry, OP. It only takes one good girlfriend to catch up. Don't catastrophize. You're not doomed to lifelong relationship failure. You're only 21, for heaven's sake! It's not as unusual as you think for some people to have their first relationship in their early-to-mid 20's. Some don't have their first relationship until after they graduate.
About the bolded, that is not a well-known fact or principle in linguistics at all. Could you clarify? People learn languages and become fluent in them at all ages. Do you mean, if a child fails to acquire speech at all by a certain age?
With respect to the bolded, I was referring to the critical period hypothesis
With a nice, positive attitude like that, you should go far!
Odin, she doesn't have to be your exact duplicate. And just because someone's studious and doesn't party doesn't mean they don't like guys with long hair and noisy music. Or are closed to the idea of doing weed. You have a lot of limiting beliefs, here. You're thinking in stereotypes, while the real world is breathtakingly diverse.
Besides, you haven't even begun to look around; you say you only recently changed your major to German/Germanic, and you haven't had any idea where to look for the non-party girls. So, you're basically at Square One, after 3 years of college. The fact is, you have no idea what's out there, waiting to be discovered.
I have no doubt that there are studious, intellectual and creative women who hold your same illusions; that all the guys at their school are into partying. Some of these women spend some of their Fri. nights ordering pizza with their dormies, who likewise aren't into the party scene. Others find stuff to do, like some kind of campus club, the poetry open-mic, or may organize their own interest group, or hang out with the local medieval group in town (which I mentioned earlier), or other groups.
I think I was feeling a bit frustrated when writing that post. After going through all the responses on this thread I'm starting to put a plan together, now that the semester is about to start up again soon. I'll start going to German-related events on campus, the German program puts things like that on quite frequently. There's a weekly German conversation event I know of, so for starters I'll try that. Another thing I'll have to do is quit relying on the online front, which so far has proven fruitless. I've spent over a year browsing OkCupid, hoping someone compatible will pop up in the area. Needless to say I haven't had any luck with that, so I won't go on there nearly as much. I just got a couple inches taken off of my hair and it looks a lot better now too. Once this semester gets going I'll see if I can find the sort of girl I've actually been looking for.
I've spent over a year browsing OkCupid, hoping someone compatible will pop up in the area. Needless to say I haven't had any luck with that, so I won't go on there nearly as much. I just got a couple inches taken off of my hair and it looks a lot better now too. Once this semester gets going I'll see if I can find the sort of girl I've actually been looking for.
Forget OKCupid! Or any other dating sites, for that matter. Women on there get over 100 messages per day! And most of them come from either Chad Thundershlong (google it) or from idiots sending pics of their member. Your thoughtfully written paragraphs will get lost in the shuffle. Which will only frustrate you further and waste your time.
Normally, I'd recommend joining in-person dating services and/or attending singles events. But you're in college, and as a rule, college people don't do those. Meetup isn't good for your age group, either. The youngest people on there are in their mid 20's, which might be too young for you. So I don't know what to tell you. I suppose, join as many student organizations as your can stomach, and hope for the best.
Forget OKCupid! Or any other dating sites, for that matter. Women on there get over 100 messages per day! And most of them come from either Chad Thundershlong (google it) or from idiots sending pics of their member. Your thoughtfully written paragraphs will get lost in the shuffle. Which will only frustrate you further and waste your time.
Normally, I'd recommend joining in-person dating services and/or attending singles events. But you're in college, and as a rule, college people don't do those. Meetup isn't good for your age group, either. The youngest people on there are in their mid 20's, which might be too young for you. So I don't know what to tell you. I suppose, join as many student organizations as your can stomach, and hope for the best.
I think student organizations may be my best bet at this point. Even if I think it's still only a small chance that I'll meet anyone worthwhile through them, it's probably a better option than online. I need to do something girl in order to increase my visibility. The more I think about it, the more I realize that barely any women know I exist at all.
I think I was feeling a bit frustrated when writing that post. After going through all the responses on this thread I'm starting to put a plan together, now that the semester is about to start up again soon. I'll start going to German-related events on campus, the German program puts things like that on quite frequently. There's a weekly German conversation event I know of, so for starters I'll try that. Another thing I'll have to do is quit relying on the online front, which so far has proven fruitless. I've spent over a year browsing OkCupid, hoping someone compatible will pop up in the area. Needless to say I haven't had any luck with that, so I won't go on there nearly as much. I just got a couple inches taken off of my hair and it looks a lot better now too. Once this semester gets going I'll see if I can find the sort of girl I've actually been looking for.
Good luck! Sounds like it could turn out to be a good year! I'm impressed that your department has all those events--that's great!
to increase my visibility. The more I think about it, the more I realize that barely any women know I exist at all.
Voila! It's about putting yourself out there. Otherwise, you end up moping around alone, and the quirky women looking for a bright, creative, quirky guy end up sharing pizza in their dorm room, wondering where the guys like you are.
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Don't catastrophize. You're not doomed to lifelong relationship failure. You're only 21, for heaven's sake! It's not as unusual as you think for some people to have their first relationship in their early-to-mid 20's. Some don't have their first relationship until after they graduate.
