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I'm not reading through 13 pages of this, so this may have already been covered, but....
He is looking for a punching bag, both mental and probably physical. If he "buys" that punching bag, then he feels he can use it as often as he wants. First, he'll build you up with the goodies, then he'll knock you down until you are convinced you deserve everything that he metes out. One day he'll be all lovey-dovey, the next day he'll be Dr. Jeckyll. And eventually, he'll have gotten everything he "needs" from you and you'll be out on the street.
I'm sorry you think so little of yourself to "date" someone who puts you down just for the cash. I agree with hawaiiancoconut (post #2). Did he agree to your hourly rate?
I think very little of a man (if you want to call him that) who has to use Mommy and Daddy's money to get somebody to do things with them. I think even less of someone who berates the person they're with. I hope somebody hears him putting you down and knocks him flat. That person should be you, if you cared for yourself. There's no woman on this earth that should have to do this. But, if you enjoy it, more power to you!
Just on the off chance the OP had a serious post....
Why is a college student in her early 20s complaining about being poor? I, along with most people I knew, spent my early 20s in crappy shared apartments, working multiple jobs and constantly being broke. I lived in NYC so obviously I knew my share of rich people but it wasn't as if most of my peers were dining at Le Cirque.
So I've been talking to a guy online who tells me that I'm not objectively attractive, but he's willing to date me because he has low standards and he's lonely. Normally any person with an ounce of self respect would say no, but the thing is, his parents are rich and he's offering me to spoil me if I date him. Now I'm REALLY strapped for cash and could use the extra money. Not only is he offering me money if I meet him, but he promised to take me on expensive vacations, trips, shopping sprees, and rent out luxurious 5 star hotels and restaurants for us. I'm so poor I've never even been to a real restaurant in my life. When he talks to me about the decadent rich people food he eats, I'm confused since I've never even heard about those foods.
He says he doesn't care about looks and cares more about personality and how he's treated. Basically I'll just have to treat him like a king then I'll get rewarded for it, but I'm not sure if it's worth it. I'm not even sure if he can follow through with his promises. Even while talking online he's shown that he has a short fuse and anger issues, so I wouldn't feel exactly physically safe with him either.
But I'm still considering it. I mean I know I'm not attractive. Guys don't approach me and never hit on me. I never get any boyfriend offers from men, especially not rich men who can give me what I desperately need: money. So compounded with my need for money, I'm also deprived of love, attention, and self esteem.
Is there really anything bad about dating a guy you don't like and vice versa for the money? I think about it this way: you get disrespected at a low wage job (think manual labor) by your supervisors, people outside of work treat you worse once they find out you have a crappy job, you lose dignity, AND you have to wake up to an alarm and perform back breaking, grueling work for hours on end. With this rich guy, I can get paid and experience a taste of the rich lifestyle just for cuddling with him and lying on my back. That sounds like a better deal to me, but I don't know. I've never done it before.
Does anyone have any experience with this? Thoughts?
This cannot be real
If he's offering you money to meet and you accept money in exchange, umm, isn't there a word for that?? He cares more about personality and how he's treated yet he's willing to pay you to be in a relationship. Wouldn't taking his money make you a gold digger?
Lol same. This is the only time I'll get a chance to date a rich guy basically. I know the relationship won't last, we'll just be together for a few weeks (as a ldr) that's when he'll take me on nice trips and give me a bunch of new life experiences, while he gets companionship and sex in return. Think of it as a temp job.
He wants a woman to like him for his looks and who he is, but it's hard to like a guy who calls you fat, stupid, ugly to your face. so obviously I'll have to fake attraction. I don't know though because sometimes he calls me hot and beautiful and he's attracted to me. This guy is confusing, I still don't know what his motives are honestly.
I'm so unsure about this whole thing. He does seem like the abusive type after all. My feelings and instincts say no but my near empty bank account says yes.
Maybe it's me, but I wouldn't give a guy who didn't respect me, who called me such names and treated me like that the time of day, and I don't care if he's the richest man in the world. To me, my own self-respect is much more important than money, or dazzling experiences. And if he's abusive, I'd give him a very wide berth.
Lol same. This is the only time I'll get a chance to date a rich guy basically. I know the relationship won't last, we'll just be together for a few weeks (as a ldr) that's when he'll take me on nice trips and give me a bunch of new life experiences, while he gets companionship and sex in return. Think of it as a temp job.
He wants a woman to like him for his looks and who he is, but it's hard to like a guy who calls you fat, stupid, ugly to your face. so obviously I'll have to fake attraction. I don't know though because sometimes he calls me hot and beautiful and he's attracted to me. This guy is confusing, I still don't know what his motives are honestly.
I'm so unsure about this whole thing. He does seem like the abusive type after all. My feelings and instincts say no but my near empty bank account says yes.
"New life experiences"? "Nice trips"? You mean, like journeys into the hell of perhaps physical in addition to the mental abuse he's already showing you? Attempted murder or drug-assisted rape? Those are the kinds of "new life experiences" you need like you need a hole in the head.
OP, why not tell this guy to buzz off, and that you could never like someone for who they are, who calls you stupid and ugly to your face. What's to like? You need to ask him that. Right before you block him on all your accounts.
Even if you were to come out of a thing like this alive, your self-esteem, what's currently left of it, would be damaged to the point of your being disabled. The constant put-downs (and God knows what else he's planning) would be traumatizing.
Pull yourself together, show some self-respect, and give this guy the boot he deserves.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 10-02-2017 at 12:15 PM..
Dear OP: There are many worse things than being alone. Use your alone time to improve yourself and your self-esteem. Get involved in activities and/or hobbies you enjoy or would like to learn. Meet people; develop your social skills. If you continue think lowly of yourself, you will attract those who will agree with you.
Being alone is much better than being alone in a relationship; better yet than being abused in a relationship; and definitely better than being lured into a "relationship" only to learn you have been lured into a dangerous or even life-threatening situation.
Please please please don't let desperation and fear of being alone push you into settling for a less than desirable situation. If you don't know how to do this, get some help. Get a therapist; see a counselor, ask a girl friend, anything but get yourself better. I wish you all the best for your future...
Like I said it's all real and even I'm confused about this guy.
So the timeline goes like this:
Initially I didn't want to date him because he wasn't offering me anything and called me ugly, but he was still willing to settle because of his low standards. I'm like whatever, I'm lonely and friendless so I'll keep talking to him. This continues for a few months, we're just online friends.
He wants to lose his virginity to me so he flies to another state to meet me. I don't show up because well he's not my type and he doesn't treat me right.
Months pass and I'm lonelier, more hurt and desperate than ever. He texts me out of nowhere, says he forgives me for standing him up and wants to be my boyfriend again. He starts offering me a rich lifestyle.
I fall for it because I have no one.
He starts to become extremely abusive and bashes me with threats every time I say something he doesn't like.
Yet sometimes he's nice and says he still wants a girl like me, sometimes he'll compliment me instead of insulting me, his compliments feel like they're coming from the bottom of his heart, and he tells me that he'll provide for me and give me everything I'll need.
Right now we're in the nice phase but I'm still scared at any moment he might explode again. And like I said I'm broke and single so I get tempted to accept his offers to meet him.
Okay, after all the warnings and advice you have received here: if you are for real, then you are plainly being just STUPID. So go on and let him abuse you and confuse you and maybe hurt you and God only knows what. And maybe you'll even get a "nice" dinner somewhere... I am now angry at you for continuing to consider such a ridiculous situation. I truly hope you ARE a troll because if you're not, you are a girl destined for a miserable life. I hate to be this harsh, but you are not listening to wise advice - you keep coming back around to "but I'm so lonely...so broke..." so this and that, making excuses to move forward with a dumb, DUMB plan.
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