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Do you participate in any clubs or other group activities at your college? College can be a very impersonal experience, where it's hard to meet people. You're not the only woman there that doesn't get male attention. It's not as uncommon as you think.
One thing that can help is meeting guys through extra-curricular activities, where you can get to know them first, and they can get to know you. In situations like this, people's personalities tend to be what others notice, rather than looks so much. You can also see what kind of hobby groups and volunteer opportunities there are off-campus. Sometimes women who don't hit it off with anyone on campus have good luck finding a guy out in the community. Take a look at enviro orgs if you're into that, or political action groups, the city foreign affairs committee that has a guest speakers program, volunteer for the city film festival, check out activities through the city Parks Department.
I'd even say to do all of this not just to meet men, but to get of your own head, to make friends and social connections, to do some good in the world. Sitting in your room being catfished is not doing you any benefit.
If you're actually in college you should make use of the mental health resources available to you. Get involved in some activities on campus--don't just sit in your room with your laptop communicating with some toxic mess of a person. Does your family know about this?
Even now, after a year, he hasn't offered you anything but words. If he's really rich and wants to woo you with money, he'd be sending flowers and gifts. He'd actually want to meet you. You're being played in a big way.
Yes I know it doesn't look good that he hasn't bought me anything in over a year, but there's a reason for that. Well sometime last year, he flew to my state to meet me, but I had a lot of anxiety at that time and didn't want to meet up with a guy who called me a "below average nonwhite." So I didn't show up when he flew here to meet me. He was really mad that I stood him up, we got into a lot of fights, but after a while we started talking like boyfriend/girlfriend again and we're both willing to give it a second go. Obviously he isn't going to buy me anything when he can't trust that I'll even meet him. So in order to get anything I'll have to meet him in person.
I don't remember all the foods but they were expensive. I remember because he took pictures and the receipt was hundreds of dollars. I know he's legitimately rich (his parents are).
You cant remember one food item? Iranian beluga caviar? Wagyu beef? spam and egg sandwich?
No I don't, not any at all, not even online. All my online friends either block me or I block them, or we just stop talking. I've never really had friends in real life other than some acquaintances I was polite with in work/school. I'm awful at maintaining relationships of any kind. That's why I'm so lonely and constantly making horrible decisions.
No I don't, not any at all, not even online. All my online friends either block me or I block them, or we just stop talking. I've never really had friends in real life other than some acquaintances I was polite with in work/school. I'm awful at maintaining relationships of any kind. That's why I'm so lonely and constantly making horrible decisions.
I'm in my very early 20s.
OP, Step 1: visit your counseling center at school. This is the only time in your life that you'll have FREE psychological help available to you. Please make good use of it. You are NOT the only one in this situation! There are a lot of lonely, depressed people in college, and the smart ones get help for it. (Did I mention--it's FREE?}
Step 2: get involved in some group activities or projects. Even if you don't hit it off with any guys, you may make a new woman friend. It sounds like you need practice socializing, anyway.
No I don't, not any at all, not even online. All my online friends either block me or I block them, or we just stop talking. I've never really had friends in real life other than some acquaintances I was polite with in work/school. I'm awful at maintaining relationships of any kind. That's why I'm so lonely and constantly making horrible decisions.
I'm in my very early 20s.
But you had the wherewithal to find a real estate forum and post such an odd question/situation here.....
That's not anxiety, that's common sense. Listen to your gut feelings.
You're right, my gut screams at me that this guy is bad news which is why I didn't meet up with him in the first place. I feel a bit trapped though because of his blackmail and threats. He's totally obsessed with me for some reason. If he even finds this thread displaying my distrust for him, he'll go absolutely berserk, begin with the threats to ruin my life and even try to bring innocent people like my family into it. He won't stop stalking me or monitoring my online activity on other forums that he knows I post on.
He even hires people to harass me. One time he hired a man to pretend to be some girl to try to get information out of me, and that man kept it up for days. Another time he shared my personal information and pictures with a sexual predator who then posted my pictures publicly. I got them removed quickly, but I still feel uncomfortable knowing that many unsavory people have my information and pictures.
This guy has his hooks deep into me and I can't escape. I feel like I'm trapped in some abusive relationship that isn't even real. I don't know what to do.
With the offerings of affection and money and threats if I don't comply, he has me completely under his control.
You're right, my gut screams at me that this guy is bad news which is why I didn't meet up with him in the first place. I feel a bit trapped though because of his blackmail and threats. He's totally obsessed with me for some reason. If he even finds this thread displaying my distrust for him, he'll go absolutely berserk, begin with the threats to ruin my life and even try to bring innocent people like my family into it. He won't stop stalking me or monitoring my online activity on other forums that he knows I post on.
He even hires people to harass me. One time he hired a man to pretend to be some girl to try to get information out of me, and that man kept it up for days. Another time he shared my personal information and pictures with a sexual predator who then posted my pictures publicly. I got them removed quickly, but I still feel uncomfortable knowing that many unsavory people have my information and pictures.
This guy has his hooks deep into me and I can't escape. I feel like I'm trapped in some abusive relationship that isn't even real. I don't know what to do.
With the offerings of affection and money and threats if I don't comply, he has me completely under his control.
Full stop....
Don't even know why this is still up for discussion. Why would consider being alone and vulnerable to such an individual?
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