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Did anyone besides me and HC actually listen to the clip? I don’t even think the OP listened to it because this dating coach says clearly to make a woman wait 5-10 years for any commitment (not just marriage). That means you and her date around since you aren’t exclusive.
If you don’t want to listen to the whole thing, try the 2 minute mark. That’s where he says it. And at the 3:20 mark he says again you just keep a woman as a FB for 5-10 years, don’t even make her your girlfriend.
If he was talking about 5 years dating and commitment before marriage, I could see it. But to wait 5 years to move beyond just dating? Seems foolish. No one is going to wait that long unless they have no self esteem or don’t plan on ever committing to you either.
Did anyone besides me and HC actually listen to the clip? I don’t even think the OP listened to it because this dating coach says clearly to make a woman wait 5-10 years for any commitment (not just marriage).
Yes, I did ... unfortunately.
He is not talking about dating or anything decent. He just means messing around with someone, i.e. "making her wait ...," which like I said is NOT the same as dating and NOT a very kind approach.
It's crap. No one should pay any attention to him.
5 years is a good number. Might cut down on the divorce rate.
I am not sure there is a strong correlation between length of courtship and divorce rate.
My profession has an extremely high divorce rate, I am well aware that many professions kill marriages. I am not aware of what professions are the 'best' for marriages.
I am not sure there is a strong correlation between length of courtship and divorce rate.
My profession has an extremely high divorce rate, I am well aware that many professions kill marriages. I am not aware of what professions are the 'best' for marriages.
Well, if you are just "dating" in a formal way it's not easy to really find out if someone is batshirt nutz in a short amount of time. I've dated several people that right around a year the truth behold. Whether it's a raging temper, sleeping around, drug use, whatever the vice they were able to hide it for a while.
Well, if you are just "dating" in a formal way it's not easy to really find out if someone is batshirt nutz in a short amount of time. I've dated several people that right around a year the truth behold. Whether it's a raging temper, sleeping around, drug use, whatever the vice they were able to hide it for a while.
My familytree had an extra helping of [bleep] nutz in among it's branches. Maybe that helped me to detect those when I was dating.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 01-05-2018 at 09:32 AM..
Reason: Inappropriate language.
Well, if you are just "dating" in a formal way it's not easy to really find out if someone is batshirt nutz in a short amount of time. I've dated several people that right around a year the truth behold. Whether it's a raging temper, sleeping around, drug use, whatever the vice they were able to hide it for a while.
In truth, you don't need five years. The easiest possible way to find out what someone is made of is to take a 10-day vacation with that person.
Not a vacation where you sit by the pool and wait for telepathic servers to bring you yet another pina colada. Nope. A vacation where you have to travel from place to place, be on time for planes and trains, be kind of organized, and deal with unfamiliar situations.
I went on a vacation like that with a girlfriend. It wasn't as if we were going to Tanzania or Bhutan. Nope. Colofreakingrado. We had kind of a plan, an agreed-upon set of things to do.
Day one and two went smoothly. But by day four, she just wanted to sit around the hotel room in the middle of the Colorado Rockies and watch Donohue on TV. She snapped at a perfectly nice waitress. She complained about the temperature and how dry the air was.
No huge offenses. More like the death of a thousand cuts. Here we were in the most glorious landscape in North America and she's complaining all the time. And coming home from that trip, I realized how annoyed I was a lot of the time, chiefly because she basically ruined matters. Life is an adventure, and so is traveling. If you can't handle a ten-day trip without behaving like a neurotic princess, then there's no way you can handle actual life.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver
In truth, you don't need five years. The easiest possible way to find out what someone is made of is to take a 10-day vacation with that person.
Not a vacation where you sit by the pool and wait for telepathic servers to bring you yet another pina colada. Nope. A vacation where you have to travel from place to place, be on time for planes and trains, be kind of organized, and deal with unfamiliar situations. .
I did that with a woman, two weeks in Costa Rica hiking two different regions, including hiking across the Osa Peninsula, before we lived together. While it is true the hardships and constant 24/7 nature of it did show a lot about our ability to talk through things, negotiate, give and take, collectively solve problems and disagreements, and even how we shared experiences, that just showed that indeed we were great friends and partners, not spouse material. We tried to head that way, it would have been disaster.
In truth, you don't need five years. The easiest possible way to find out what someone is made of is to take a 10-day vacation with that person.
Not a vacation where you sit by the pool and wait for telepathic servers to bring you yet another pina colada. Nope. A vacation where you have to travel from place to place, be on time for planes and trains, be kind of organized, and deal with unfamiliar situations.
I went on a vacation like that with a girlfriend. It wasn't as if we were going to Tanzania or Bhutan. Nope. Colofreakingrado. We had kind of a plan, an agreed-upon set of things to do.
Day one and two went smoothly. But by day four, she just wanted to sit around the hotel room in the middle of the Colorado Rockies and watch Donohue on TV. She snapped at a perfectly nice waitress. She complained about the temperature and how dry the air was.
No huge offenses. More like the death of a thousand cuts. Here we were in the most glorious landscape in North America and she's complaining all the time. And coming home from that trip, I realized how annoyed I was a lot of the time, chiefly because she basically ruined matters. Life is an adventure, and so is traveling. If you can't handle a ten-day trip without behaving like a neurotic princess, then there's no way you can handle actual life.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 11 days ago)
35,637 posts, read 17,989,189 times
Reputation: 50679
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
I would wait 3-5 years anyways cause I prefer not rushing into something as serious as marriage. The divorce rate is so high cause people think with their private parts over their brain. Develop patience and let it develop organically and you'll soon find out if a man or woman is worth marrying. That's just how I feel about it.
The math and lifespans don't work out in a way that would make having a family possible, IMHO, on that timeline. I think an adult (24 years plus, finished with school and on the way to a promising career path) should be able to know within 4 months of dating if this one is VERY likely to be a "keeper" and then wait another year so to marry. Or, move on at the 4 month point.
If you've been dating 4 years and still can't decide if this is a woman you want to marry, 1. she's not the one, or 2. you don't want to be married.
If you start dating, you really like what you see, meet her friends and family and coworkers and take her to meet yours and you can make the decision quickly and clearly if you want to marry this woman and have a life and children together. Or you don't.
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