Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I let that recording run for 3 minutes... and had to stop it.
Get to really know what makes yourself tick, your own morals, values, and interests, your own life goals and direction and the speed at which you want to reach those goals. Then, you will be well equipped to recognize partners that are a positive match who you can build a LTR with... and it won't take 5-10 years.
That is ridiculous. Although there are many things you need to know about a person before marrying them, it doesn’t take 5 years. I’d give a man two years, tops. Then he better either marry me, or I’m outta here.
My husband and I knew each other for 7 months before we got married, and that was 38 years ago. You better believe that in those 7 months, I knew all his family dynamics, had met all his friends, and I knew his character and values.
So let me get this straight.....38 years ago you had a 7 month relationship and got married.
What about that scenario makes you know anything about relationships?
if you don't know in your heart that you want a serious long term commitment with someone after a year or so of a relationship, you should probably do both of you a favor and end it. It takes time to get to know someone, and feelings take a while to develop sometimes, but if you don't know within a year (and again, you don't need to act to make it legal, just know you want the long term) you never will.
I think this is a fair assessment.
After that year of firsts, seasons, birthdays, holidays, family events, etc., seeing you at your best and worst, it gives you an idea of whether the relationship has what it takes to keep building on.
You will never know everything about your partner but the fundamentals of compatibility are usually established fairly early on, IMO. You don't need to invest half a decade or more to know if you share the same morals, values, outlook, goals, etc.
This dating "coach" sounds like he's advocating wasting your time and also trying to keep you out of the dating pool entirely.
So let me get this straight.....38 years ago you had a 7 month relationship and got married.
What about that scenario makes you know anything about relationships?
Its off-topic from the thread title, but lemme defend that.
There is someone I am very close to, and we often compare lives around these holiday times. She married her (second --ssshh) boyfriend in high school, and 3 kids and 18 years later, I have no doubts about her ability 'to do and perform and maintain relationship'.
I on the other hand, had one marriage crash and burn like The Hindenberg, and since then, I can honestly sing the song "88 Lines About 44 Women" of my post-divorce dating life.
each of us has our own life experience, and we contribute our thoughts to the Internet Collective where we think there is someone who would like to listen.
The occasional slings and arrows are the expected result of taking the center stage and having all eyes on you.
Men are not rushing into anything because there's not enough information about the failure of the prostate at around the age of 50-60 for them to realize their shelf life. They think they can sit back to pick and choose the youngest woman who is stupid enough to put up with them for 5, 10, 20 years.
With humans, if you can't figure it out in two years, then you can't figure it out. For men, if they think they have more time than women to figure it out, they're mistaken and the women they're left with after 10 years will be looking to greener pastures after two years. It may take them ten or twenty years to find someone else, so until then you're stuck with that woman. Chances are that because you're too feeble to take a stance in the first couple of years of the relationship, you're also too feeble to get rid of a woman who won't leave.
Why the insults? I didn't disrespect you so please don't disrespect me unless you want the same treatment. A lot of you tend to be really rude just because you disagree with someone. But anyways, it's my life and I'll do what's best for it.
Why the insults? I didn't disrespect you so please don't disrespect me unless you want the same treatment. A lot of you tend to be really rude just because you disagree with someone. But anyways, it's my life and I'll do what's best for it.
She clearly has some hang ups about men and her biological clock.
5 to 10 years is rediculously and utterly beyond stupid. Monumental waste of time.
Agree completely.
Unless both people are fine with not marrying, I think waiting 5-10 years to decide if you should marry that person is a colossal waste of time and entirely too long. It may even cost you that relationship in the end, if the other person wants to marry before that, while you’re still putting in the 5-10 years to see if it’s worth it.
I think 3-5 years is a pretty good neighborhood, and that also includes time engaged, as many people are engaged for a year or two before marrying. I would think by 3 years into the relationship, you would have a good idea if you’re comfortable with marrying the person or not. Perhaps sooner, but I think if you need longer than 3 years to decide if you wanna marry someone, you’re probably still gonna have doubts by year 4 or 5.
We got engaged less than 1.5 years into the relationship, but it will be 4 years by our wedding date.
As Hawaiian Coconut pointed out, this man isn't advocating not getting married for 5-10 years, he's advocating not being in a committed relationship for 5-10 years and to "just date" that woman causally in that time. I assume this means both he (and the woman) can date other people since it's non-exclusive.
I can see being in a relationship for 5 or even up to 10 years before marrying (if ever marrying. Some people don't). But being in an uncommitted dating situation where the other person is also dating other people? I don't know. Seems to me like one should know within a few dates if they want to be exclusive. If not, move on.
Let me ask this. Does anyone here really think anyone worth sticking with (male or female), if they are also dating other people, is going to still be available in 5-10 years? Or do you think someone who is "a keeper" is going to attract and end up in a committed relationship with someone else while you wait around?
His advice to men sounds like a recipe for losing out on the "keeper women" while getting stuck with the women no other man want long-term.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
