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Simple: if that doesn't seem right to you, then don't continue this relationship. Leave and let him find someone who will be ok with the way he is living his life.
Yes, I know. Thats another thing that I would say is a red flag. 47yo and never married.
My friend is in his 50s and never been married. He also has not been living with his mommy since he was 15. He works full-time in a stable, well-paying profession, owns his own home (has since a young age) and does his own laundry and takes care of himself, all by himself. He's just ardently independent, never wanted kids or marriage and has no trouble finding female company. He's a catch who does not want to be caught.
I don't think there's anything wrong with him living at home. He may be there to help his mom out with the house. When our parents age it becomes quite a burden to take care of a home by themselves. I'd say give this a guy a shot, see where it goes, it may turn out that he's a really nice guy. Now if your looking for a relationship with a man who has more security and material wealth, then hes probably not the guy for you.
When your gut feeling tells you something... run with it.
He sounds somewhat like me... meaning I'm in my 40's and have been told I'm attractive as well... but I haven't lived with my Mom since I was 17.
I'll give him credit for being honest though... I don't think I could tell any date that I lived with my Mom and feel confident that she'd go out with me again no matter how well the date went. I'd feel the same way about any woman I went out with... if she lived with Mom I'd be like "WTF?"
This may only be my experience, but the people I've known who live with parents for cultural/traditional reasons basically turn things around and support the parents by a certain point, usually in the 30s somewhere. And often it's a case of the parents living with the adult child at that point, not the other way around. IOW, "let's get a bigger place, you'll be more comfortable, Mom" as the transition to..."It's actually my place even though we don't talk about that."
These adult children generally work very hard, not part-time, and do a huge portion of the grunt work around the house as well.
They don't separate from the parents until marriage but they are expected to really be rowing the boat, especially as they get up there in age. The responsibility factor in such cultures on the part of children/adult children is huge.
Previously, the parents did the same as young adults. It's what's expected, in honoring the parents, who still officially "call the shots" although it's obvious there's a change of guard taking place.
Again, this is only my experience.
Last edited by JerZ; 09-10-2018 at 02:03 PM..
Reason: Should have stated: culturally
Me being me, I'd walk away. But if there was something special between us, I'd try to find out more about the situation with his mom/work and then decide. It could either be he has no time because he has to care for his mom, he's mooching off of her, or trying to rebuild his life while living there and saving up money.
Playing video games at 47 isn't a red flag, it's called a "hobby". Now, if you can't get them to stop playing to do things that are needed, like cleaning, laundry, going out for XYZ, then that's called "addiction"; then it's a red flag. LOL. I only say this since my BF is a borderline gaming addict. But, I can drag him away so I don't mind so much. Better to be at home playing than out of the home "playing".
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