Do you consider an 11 year age gap big? (wives, marry, men)

[GeoffD]

Originally Posted by bondaroo

This is what I've been seeing with my sister's marriage. She was 34 when they met, he was an old-soul 19. Boy, did I tease her! But here we are, 20+ years later. She admitted they had a few generation-gap situations early on. And now she's 56, and not in great health (thanks partly to a lifetime of bad choices). My BIL is not going to have an active, fun mid-life, he's going to be taking care of his elderly wife.

Back in the early 1970s, Mad Magazine did a spoof on the movie "Summer of 42" set on Nantucket where a teen ends up sleeping with a hot WW II widow who had just lost her husband. In the Mad Magazine epilogue, the guy is now 40, at the Nantucket beach looking at the hot girls in bikinis, and his wife is a 50-something sun-wrinkled hag.


I'm 2 1/2 years older than my girlfriend. I'm just about to turn 61. Even that gap creates issues. I'm somewhere between unemployed, semi-retired, and retired. I've accumulated enough wealth to support myself but not the two of us so she continues to work her high paying white collar professional job. We have probably 6 or 7 years of this until she's Medicare-eligible.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by That_One_Girl

Not at all for me. I'm often attracted to people who are more than 11 years older.

Depends on what you want, I guess. If you're looking for a lifetime partnership it'll obviously be different than if you're just looking for a fun activity or sex partner.

Not always....no guarantees in life. Someone could be with a lifetime partner who is 10 yrs younger & they die 1st...or get cancer & are sick for 10 yrs....or you end up divorced...or he cheats. It's silly to base who you would be with on anything other than mutual respect, being able to talk about anything, having fun together, being physically attracted, & being in love.

[That_One_Girl]

Originally Posted by TashaPosh

Not always....no guarantees in life. Someone could be with a lifetime partner who is 10 yrs younger & they die 1st...or get cancer & are sick for 10 yrs....or you end up divorced...or he cheats. It's silly to base who you would be with on anything other than mutual respect, being able to talk about anything, having fun together, being physically attracted, & being in love.

Yeah I agree. I was just trying to be diplomatic and understand where others might be coming from.

To me, age pretty much isn't a factor in anything.

[Jean-Francois]

My first wife was ten months younger than me.
After nine years together, I walked into a bar, locked eyes with a beautiful girl, fourteen years my junior, and was struck by “un coup de foudre.”
I should never have done it, but I was too dumb, and in love, to stop myself, I left my wife and spent eight madcap years with this fascinating creature, until, live by the sword, die by the sword, she found someone better for her than me.
I spent the next three years dating a succession of women, then one evening, I picked up a woman who hailed my taxi.
She was engaged to be married, but minor things like that didn’t worry me.
I hit on her gently, and eventually took her to dinner, she was nineteen years my junior, but I hung in there, and now we’ve been together for coming up to forty years, and married for twenty five years next October.
So in essence, eleven years is nothing.

[Auraliea]

Originally Posted by Jean-Francois

My first wife was ten months younger than me.
After nine years together, I walked into a bar, locked eyes with a beautiful girl, fourteen years my junior, and was struck by “un coup de foudre.”
I should never have done it, but I was too dumb, and in love, to stop myself, I left my wife and spent eight madcap years with this fascinating creature, until, live by the sword, die by the sword, she found someone better for her than me.
I spent the next three years dating a succession of women, then one evening, I picked up a woman who hailed my taxi.
She was engaged to be married, but minor things like that didn’t worry me.
I hit on her gently, and eventually took her to dinner, she was nineteen years my junior, but I hung in there, and now we’ve been together for coming up to forty years, and married for twenty five years next October.
So in essence, eleven years is nothing.

Ugh you could've left the part about the infidelities and disrespecting boundaries out of it......we would've gotten your point.

[newdixiegirl]

Originally Posted by GeoffD

I think it’s a more significant gap at age 30 or younger and age 60. At 30, a 19 year old is really young. At 60, you’re contemplating retirement and 49 is peak career age.

This. It's all about being at the same stage of life, with similar energy levels, interests, goals, and outlooks. Most guys 15 years older than I are already retired, while I have no interest in retiring at my age. It wouldn't work for either of us.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by Auraliea

Ugh you could've left the part about the infidelities and disrespecting boundaries out of it......we would've gotten your point.

ita

[joliefrijole71]

I'm living with a guy who is 16 years younger than I. He and I get along great, although his immaturity shows at times. I recall there is a formula that distinguishes between those you can date/marry without total incompatibility. Divide the older person's age by 2 and add 7 years. In my case, I'm 47, and he's 31. Half my age is 23.5 plus 7 is 30.5. He made the cut.

[SuperDave72]

It’s about the max age gap that I feel works for most situations. Any more that that is certainly possible, but more difficult.

[TreeBeard]

No, my own rule of thumb, for what it is worth, is whether the partner could be the other partner's parent. So, I look at that as a 17 to 18 year difference as being acceptable.