Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 07-18-2019, 05:51 AM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,734 posts, read 87,147,355 times
Reputation: 131720

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty99 View Post
You are old enough to be his mom. It's going to be a tough road to take this on. People will judge you. To each their own but I would not want to deal with someone at that age. Is he still living at home???? Personally I think he is just experimenting, and enjoys attention from others so he's not committed to you.

Of course, they will judge you - openly or behind your back.
He IS a kid. He IS definitely a kid to a person of your age. I don't see a (big) problem when someone is 60 dating 43. But the age and maturity difference between a 39 y.o woman and 22 y.o. boy is huge.

He lives at home. He isn't mature enough to move out and provide/care for himself.
What are you to him? A sex experiment? Mother figure? Sugar mommy?
He isn't obviously proud of this "relationship", otherwise he would be showing you around, bragging about his love, posting on social media. But he is keeping you in secret. Why? You should know why. You ARE old enough...

What is he to you? Longing for youth? Feeling attractive and desirable because you have a young BF?
Did you ever got married? Had kids? Feeling lonely? Missing opportunities? Is he a substitute?

What you WANT us to say? You don't want to be judged, so you want approval. Sorry, most of us don't feel that way.

Last edited by elnina; 07-18-2019 at 06:02 AM..

 
Old 07-18-2019, 05:59 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,588 posts, read 84,818,250 times
Reputation: 115126
One year my now-exh was in four weddings. One of the marriages was between one of his friends, who was 27, to a woman who was 40.

Ten years or so later, they were the only couple of those marriages who was still together. I have no idea if they still are, but just putting that out there. It has happened. I do have to note that the man's mother had died when he was very young, the woman already had two grown children, 18 and 20, and he did not want children of their own, so the framework of their relationship seemed beneficial to both.

About three years ago, I met a couple in which the woman was, I believe, 20 years older than her husband. They had been married for 25 years.

So, it's rarer than May-December marriages wherein the man is the older of the couple, but it does happen.
__________________
Moderator posts are in RED.
City-Data Terms of Service: http://www.city-data.com/terms.html
 
Old 07-18-2019, 06:09 AM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,734 posts, read 87,147,355 times
Reputation: 131720
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
One year my now-exh was in four weddings. One of the marriages was between one of his friends, who was 27, to a woman who was 40.

Ten years or so later, they were the only couple of those marriages who was still together. I have no idea if they still are, but just putting that out there. It has happened. I do have to note that the man's mother had died when he was very young, the woman already had two grown children, 18 and 20, and he did not want children of their own, so the framework of their relationship seemed beneficial to both.

About three years ago, I met a couple in which the woman was, I believe, 20 years older than her husband. They had been married for 25 years.

So, it's rarer than May-December marriages wherein the man is the older of the couple, but it does happen.
Yes, it happens. BUT in OP case her "BF" is keeping their "relationship" secret. So, obviously, HE thinks that there IS something inappropriate or even shameful about it, or he isn't in love, or he isn't serious, or ALL of the above.
OP, in contrary, is enamored and infatuated with his youth, good sex and a boy who probably is easy to manipulate.
THIS is completely different from the scenarios you described.
 
Old 07-18-2019, 06:14 AM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,396 posts, read 24,456,213 times
Reputation: 17477
The reason you are a secret is because people judge. It’s convenient for him because he is free to flirt with other people while getting free sex training from you on the side. Sure he loves you, just like he loves pizza.

What’s going to happen if he breaks up with you? You work together. How will you feel when he starts openly dating someone else?

It was a bad decision from the beginning.
 
Old 07-18-2019, 06:29 AM
 
29 posts, read 7,802 times
Reputation: 15
His rule was not to date anyone at work.But he is dating me...Yes,i knew he had female friends.And he works two jobs.His previous girlfriends left him because didnt give thrm any attention.He helps me with money and i help hin as well at times.We visited California.Hawaii.Florida and we ll go to Italy this year.Yes,around my friends he is my boyfriend.We got finances together.Plans together ...plans to move out the city and start a new life.He was gone 5 months,went to concerts with other girls...when he got back first night to town where did he go ? To my place...yes.And no,im not a bad looking woman either.Why would he openly date at work when he dont believe in dating at work ?
 
Old 07-18-2019, 06:34 AM
 
29 posts, read 7,802 times
Reputation: 15
Why would he break up with me ? Because he sees someone better looking or younger ? Is that ??
 
Old 07-18-2019, 06:41 AM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,734 posts, read 87,147,355 times
Reputation: 131720
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondie19 View Post
Why would he break up with me ? Because he sees someone better looking or younger ? Is that ??
Yup!! Remember that in 10 years you will be almost 50 while he would be only 32 and girls who would want to date him will be in mid 20's. (That's half of your age!) He will be ready to marry a young woman and start family, have kids.
BTW: If he likes attention, he would want them, not you.
Does it answer your question??
 
Old 07-18-2019, 06:44 AM
 
9,375 posts, read 6,980,084 times
Reputation: 14777
are you his boss? define hanging out.
 
Old 07-18-2019, 06:46 AM
 
29 posts, read 7,802 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina View Post
Yup!! Remember that in 10 years you will be almost 50 while he would be only 32 and girls who would want to date him will be in mid 20's. That's half of your age.
If he likes attention, he would want them, not you.
Does it answer your question??
We did not know our age until we booked plane tickets.It was 3 months after we started dating
 
Old 07-18-2019, 06:49 AM
 
29 posts, read 7,802 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by SWFL_Native View Post
are you his boss? define hanging out.
Nope.I am not his boss...he quit the job for few months while out in south America.He is a professional musician.He akways had female friends...at breaks at work.They play basketball or tenniss.My best friend is his boss and she encouraged me to date him .I gnored him in the beginning
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:11 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top