Has your significant other quit taking care of themselves?

[himain]

My ex of 10 years went from 200lbs to 330lbs. He was 6'. I never changed. It changed everything in our relationship, and I ended it.

I would cook a healthy but tasty dinner and, on the way, home he would stop at fast food places and hide the wrappers in his car.

[YorktownGal]

Originally Posted by mlj1225

I agree with this and also believe that there is an issue with depression. I don't think it's just laziness on the wife's part.

Why doesn't the OP ask a therapist how to handle this? It's better than asking strangers on the internet.

Or am I missing something?

[mlj1225]

Originally Posted by YorktownGal

Why doesn't the OP ask a therapist how to handle this? It's better than asking strangers on the internet.

Or am I missing something?

I agree. Not sure if therapy has been brought up by him or his wife.

[Bootsamillion]

Originally Posted by RamenAddict

If someone told me that, I’d tell him to shove off. I don’t want anyone to “show me off” like some sort of trophy or prize. Part of what seems to have happened during the pandemic is that people realized that certain outfits were actually not all that comfortable. Yeah you make look cute in heels, tons of makeup, and with some fancy hairdo, but is the experience of wearing the clothes pleasant? I think a lot of people just got to the point where they were home and comfy and realized that hey- being at home and comfy is actually kind of nice!

I still do fitness activities, mainly because doing physical activity makes me feel better. I am not a partner fitness person though. I would much rather have a specific goal I mind to do myself than go to a class with a friend or partner. I have a friend who is a fitness instructor. She became one when she was working from home because it was a decent way for her to get out of the house and burn off some energy without the kids.

I got the impression from the OP that his wife had just sort of stopped caring for herself and nobody mentioned a makeover with high heels and fancy hair. Washed and styled hair, a shower and at least decent clothes would make a big difference.

[M3 Mitch]

Originally Posted by himain

My ex of 10 years went from 200lbs to 330lbs. He was 6'. I never changed. It changed everything in our relationship, and I ended it.

I would cook a healthy but tasty dinner and, on the way, home he would stop at fast food places and hide the wrappers in his car.

I remember you posting about that. He effectively left you for Ronald McDonald!

[chiluvr1228]

My significant other started becoming less interested in his appearance almost as soon as he moved in with me. Wouldn't shower unless I told him he needed one; only brushed his teeth every few days, practically shaved his head when he looked 100% better with his hair longer. That and so many other things just became a complete turn-off for me. Thankfully I didn't marry him despite him pressuring me into it. I finally had enough and he left last month.