Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That's what I think too. Why make a big deal over something you have no control over except maybe artificially for aesthetics sake? It's like trying to get over being born one race or another. It is what it is. You should have no regrets because you took your turn being young. Get on with your life.
I agree with you and greatblueheron. Like men who are so defined by their work that they lose their identity when they retire, there are women who allowed looks too much importance in defining them as a person. For them, losiing looks will be harder to accept than for women who did not put as much importance on looks as other aspects of their lives. Not leading a balanced life has consequences that come into sharp focus later in life.
I was lucky to have two parents who aged gracefully (into their 90s) with silver hair set off by striking blue eyes. I saw how relaxed and happy they were in retirement and I think that has helped me with "visions" of my future.
I am aware that major differences have occurred in my 60s, particularly with my hands looking older, the sagging under my chin and the lines around my mouth. None of which I like but it is what it is. I won't do surgery or fillers.
But if the body within is healthy, what difference does it really make. Losing some close friends to cancer at younger ages has sadly put everything into focus for me. I enjoy life, my family and my activities so what more could I ask for.
I disagree. The OP was NOT being vain. Just wondering how people handle it is all she wanted since she like all women are headed in that direction. She was just asking for some female wisdom from her elders. Calling her vain was insulting, especially since it isn't true. Most women care how they look, and aging can, and does change our looks. This society is youth crazy, and not very supportive of us older ladies .
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeana
I am still young certainly, but have to admit I worry about getting older. Call me vain but while I know I am no super model by any means, it is something I think about.
I didn't call her vain! She called HERSELF vain! Reading comprehension 101.
It took me two years starting at age 61 to get over it. I finally realized that no matter what I did, I would never look 25 again (or even 35-- or even 45), and so I just finally came to accept that -- after going through a lot of angst in the meantime! (I probably made at least a dozen posts on that subject on C-D, btw!)
If being pretty and/or attractive to the opposite sex has been part of your life up to a certain age and then you lose that, that's a loss of identity, and I believe you have every right to acknowledge that and mourn it. I don't think it makes one superficial or shallow. I'm struggling with it myself and am not afraid to admit it.
I never was a raving beauty and frankly, as a senior woman now, I kind of enjoy being invisible to the male gaze, rather than being constantly judged by it and found wanting.
I was pretty in younger years & found it was disadvantage during my early years as other women who would be my supervisors felt I would be a threat (it took me way too many years to recognize that).
I relish my wrinkles, no longer wear make-up & appreciate I am looked at just as an older woman. What a relief. I love being older.
I never was a raving beauty and frankly, as a senior woman now, I kind of enjoy being invisible to the male gaze, rather than being constantly judged by it and found wanting.
You know, that's a good point. I am the same way, was never attractive to men, and when I was younger, it made me sad. I would have made someone a great wife (I was someone's wife once, but he was an alcoholic and I was mostly just a caretaker with an income to him) but I didn't get the chance because no one could see beyond the lack of beauty and the freaky height.
Now at 59, no one expects me to be "pretty". I've begun a relationship with someone I first met in cyberspace, (though not online dating where looks still do count), and because we got to know each other first through words, and probably because of our age and the things life has handed both of us, he seems OK with me looking like what I look like. I had some trepidation about being rejected because of my appearance the first time we met in real life, but he hasn't asked me to wear a bag over my head or anything so far, anyway.
I do think the women who relied on beauty and then lost it might have a more difficult time as aging does its thing.
Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 12-02-2017 at 10:24 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.
