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What if the guy was poor and gave you a Cracker Jack box ring? I wonder if "it's the thought that count" theory would hold up or not.
It's fine if it comes from where it should and being poor is the reason it's done... I've got plenty of worthless diamonds I don't know what to do with...
It's fine if it comes from where it should and being poor is the reason it's done... I've got plenty of worthless diamonds I don't know what to do with...
Agreed. And yes, it is the thought. Not the size of the rock.
Tradition is one thing. Opression another. You're not talking a harmless tradition there, however, I'll play along. Then he'd better be prepared to pay alimony for YEARS in event of a divorce and he'd better be prepared to earn enough to put the kids through college and take care her in perpetuity all by himself. I would think men would welcome help in the breadwinning department.
I know I'd welcome help in the family income earning dept. One of friend's wife is not making any $ and it's really upsetting him, esp. since she wants to spend a lot. He def. wouldn't mind if she made more (or at least something).
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Well, since statistically, women--even in homes where both individuals work outside the home--do an overwhelming majority of the housework anyway, I'd say there's a double standard everywhere, beowulf.
It's just that the guy doesn't come right out and ask, "Will you pick up my dish for the hundredth time and still wear a smile? If so, say 'I do'."
The double standard also exists in the fact that, while the husband has merely to sit back and do nothing, necessitating the wife doing it for both of them so that Social Services won't come and threaten to condemn their home, the woman apparently has to sit there and beg for a ring since it costs so much and she isn't giving anything back financially in return. (Well...except the cost of a weekly housecleaner...about $200 a month.)
Therefore, this specific analogy might not be the best possible one.
Yes, double standards are ubiquitous. Women may do much of the housework, but don't forget it's usually the man who is cutting the grass, killing the spiders, changing the cars' oil, and fixing the computers.
It's fine if it comes from where it should and being poor is the reason it's done... I've got plenty of worthless diamonds I don't know what to do with...
Worthless diamonds? I thought they're your best friend!
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Agreed. And yes, it is the thought. Not the size of the rock.
I'll finish that sentence for you, "Not the size of the rock, but the size of the sock."
I know I'd welcome help in the family income earning dept. One of friend's wife is not making any $ and it's really upsetting him, esp. since she wants to spend a lot. He def. wouldn't mind if she made more (or at least something).
True, women who used to stay at home were homemakers, home economists...not addicted to mall shopping. When I stayed at home I made sure DH understood how much I appreciated him being the breadwinner by not spending it all frivolously. I don't see many of these women at home anymore...they are all at the mall....LOL.
Yes, double standards are ubiquitous. Women may do much of the housework, but don't forget it's usually the man who is cutting the grass, killing the spiders, changing the cars' oil, and fixing the computers.
But men were doing all of that stuff before their wives went out to work. What have they added in comparison to a working wife who still manages the bulk of household chores and works outside the home?? Any wife who is able to do all of that has earned her ring...and then some. (not that a gift representing everlasting love must be earned.....)
(not that a gift representing everlasting love must be earned.....)
Exactly. It's so weird that the crux of this seems to be what a woman has "done" to "get" her ring. I thought it was a token.
Both members of the couple get a wedding ring...did the husband "earn" that? No, he wears it because he wants to. At least that's how I thought it worked.
I know I'd welcome help in the family income earning dept. One of friend's wife is not making any $ and it's really upsetting him, esp. since she wants to spend a lot. He def. wouldn't mind if she made more (or at least something).
Yes, double standards are ubiquitous. Women may do much of the housework, but don't forget it's usually the man who is cutting the grass, killing the spiders, changing the cars' oil, and fixing the computers.
And how often do these need to be done...? Not that I can't kill my own spiders... unless they're tarantulas.
And how often do these need to be done...? Not that I can't kill my own spiders... unless they're tarantulas.
LOL!!!!!!!! I do understand what beowulf is saying but my husband and I actually have kiind of an "opposite" relationship in the ways he described (not saying your post didn't have merit, beowulf). I kill the spiders in my house because my husband is NOT cool with spiders. He also hates snakes, which I don't mind, though I admit I'm rather glad we've never had those in the house...
I usually deal with the cars--I don't change the oil, but I switch cars with hubby since he commutes and I take the car down to get it worked on.
I also used to be the grass-mower in our household because for some bizarre reason which even I don't understand, I LOVE cutting the grass. It's so...Zen. I love to see it all come out neat and even and I love the smell of cut grass. Now we have a landscaper, which disappoints me, so I just deal with the garden instead.
Worthless diamonds? I thought they're your best friend!
Well, Zsa Zsa Gabor did say never hate a man enough to give him back his diamonds , but the regular ones we women have become pretty worthless when no longer serving a purpose.
I buy her the ring...her parents pay for the wedding (which, of course, most men couldn't care less about) and she buys me...
....
What makes you think her parents will pay for everything?
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(Well...except the cost of a weekly housecleaner...about $200 a month.)
