Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
As other's have said, so much of the anger and resentment towards women that comes through on your posts becomes clear and evident now.
First, I am sorry for what your mother did, for her leaving you that way and for the manner in which her life came to an end. However, whether you realize it or not, her actions have embedded in your mind and heart a lot of negativity towards women. Perhaps some was even fueled by your father's own anger towards her if he had any and displayed it.
All women, however, are not like that and while women who are do exist, they are generally in the minority. It is unfair, not only to women, but even to yourself to catergorize and generalize all women to be "parasites" because of your childhood and your mother. In fact, you are potentially hurting yourself by having so many issues and walls around you that you will never find happiness with a woman.
You know, my father abandoned my mother and I when I was only 1 year old. I am now 38 and to this day I have yet to ever meet my father, locate his wearabouts or hear anything about him. The one and ONLY child support check he gave my mother a bit after he left, and this was because she ended up in court, was a $20 check so she could buy me some milk and diapers. You know where that check is? I have it. The reason I have it is because it bounced. Insufficient funds. When I got older I ran across it one day and kept it because it was the only thing I had from my father.
I saw my mother struggle day in and day out. I could very well turn around and judge all men by the irresponsible and selfish actions of my father, but would that really be fair. No, it would not.
I have to agree with other's and what they have suggested. You should try to get into some sort of counseling to try to deal with the unresolved issues that you have. Well.... if you want to be able to be happy with a wife someday. Because if you don't, I don't know if you would be able to get that far in a relationship because the issues will always come in between the two of you.
I am not saying anything bad about all women. Just that...I don't know.
Sorry about what happend with your father. Look at it this way: no memories are better than BAD MEMORIES...I remember being ten and living with my mother, and I complained to her that I was hungry. Well, she slapped me, screamed at me, and than proceeded to shoot up with heroine right in front of me. Pathetic creature she was, a victim of her own weakness.
Anyhow, I would see a shrink, but it's kind of expensive...
I am not saying anything bad about all women. Just that...I don't know.
Sorry about what happend with your father. Look at it this way: no memories are better than BAD MEMORIES...I remember being ten and living with my mother, and I complained to her that I was hungry. Well, she slapped me, screamed at me, and than proceeded to shoot up with heroine right in front of me. Pathetic creature she was, a victim of her own weakness.
Anyhow, I would see a shrink, but it's kind of expensive...
You're right in that sometimes no memories are better than bad, but I would emphasis sometimes, because both carry their own issues, while differently. I personally went through years of believing I was not worthy of love because if my own father could not stick around and love me, how could any other man do so. But that's neither here nor there, some good counseling got me through all the hang ups and issues and to the point where I could mention the world father and not cry, see my own kids with their dad and not cry or feel a bit of jealousy.
I wouldn't go to a shrink in the sense of psychiatrist if that is what you meant. They like to medicate and medication is not always necessary. I would simply go to a counselor/psychologist. Yes they can be expensive but if you have insurance, many times insurance does cover it at least for a determined amount of sessions. If you don't have insurance, there are many agencies that will help you get free or low cost counseling. Some counselors will even work with you based on a sliding fee which is an amount determined based upon your income and ability to pay.
Like I said, I want a wife someday, but I am only saying that I do not need a wife. All people are expendable to us, as when someone dies, we almost always go on with our lives.
I can't believe I am even responding....what can I say...a bit of insomnia and nothing but infomercials and Beverly Hillbillies on the TV...
Expendable:
–adjective 1.capable of being expended. 2.(of an item of equipment or supply) consumed in use or not reusable. 3.considered to be not worth keeping or maintaining. 4.Military. (of personnel, equipment, or supplies) capable of being sacrificed in order to accomplish a military objective. –noun 5.Usually, expendables. an expendable person or thing.
No, my spouse is not expendable. I do need my spouse, we need each other. Not in some sick co-dependent relationship or to complete a list of chores for each other, but in a normal human kind of way. I am not high maintenance, I don't need accessories. The people I choose to share my life with are valuable for more than a fleeting moment, they are not interchangeable and should a spouse, family member, or even good friend die, I would be able to exist as a biological being, but as an emotional being I would be incomplete. Kinda like having a dish prepared with a missing ingredient....still edible but not as good as if all the right things were in the pot. I hate to simplify relationships to that point, but perhaps you can relate better taking out the human element.
That you do not see the difference between expendable and being able carry on with life should they die is very telling. I second the multiple recommendations for you to seek out therapy.
I agree, it is stupid, but advertising forces you to htink it is necessary, the same thinking that makes people spend obscene amount of money on proms.
My "favorite" advertising campaign for a jewelery store is "Love her? Show her!" Seriously. That was on a billboard! If that's how you intend to "show" your love, forget it. I don't want it.
I do like the idea of wearing a wedding ring (me and the husband) because I think it is a symbol of your commitment. (But that's just me and I'm not dogging anyone who feels differently.) But it doesn't have to be expensive. A plain band will suffice.
Better question would be: why the hell should I, a human, listen to what another human has to say? Just as flawed, just as useless! If that isn't the blind leading the blind, I don't know what is!
If an AI told me what to do, I would listen. Until that day, human beings will have nothing but my contempt. They can be amusing, like playing with a puppy with downsyndrome, but other than that, humans disgust me.
HOWEVER, I would be open to talking to a savant in the area of the human mind if it wasn't for the price being so prohibiting.
.
VP; go and find a therapist today. Your doctor may be able to recommend someone for you if you explain the situation.
Print out this post and the one about how you plan to make your wife angry. Show them to the therapist. They should know how to help you.
No wonder you are having such a tough time. If you think humans are disgusting and you are one. I hate to say it, but it sounds like you have some fairly major psychological issues.
ok so im with you VP on not subscribing to the traditional manners of courtship, engagement and marriage. thats fine.
what i do find disturbing is how you feel about other people.
this aint fantasy world or dungeons and demons, war craft, whatever. you are not a robot and to strive to be one is not productive and ultimately self hating.
you are a human, you have emotions and you should be happy about them, maybe with age you might feel differently. but it is def. nice to have someone cook for you.
you will have shown some maturity when you realize that you cooking for your significant other, should be an act of
luv and respect.
the intention of good deeds should not be the
"i'll show you!!!"
thats dangerous and immature.
when you find mutual respect nd love with someone, you will be happy to provide for them as you have provided for youself and it wont be because you want to evidence how unnecessary they are to you.
cook, clean and sex someone because they mean the world to you, not because you want them to know you can do with out them.
that mentality will leave you lonely and sad. yes you will be sad, you are more than a "fleshling". come back to real life buddy. you dont want to be sad.
and cool it down. someone who has to prove they dont "need" something, need it more than they will ever know
VictorianPunk said in another post: NEVER had sex NEVER kissed a girl (kiss as in on the mouth, on the cheek doesn't count) NEVER been on a date NEVER had a girlfriend NEVER held hands with a girl NEVER have I known that a female actually has found me attractive.
*********
Let's focus on doing some of these things first. Perhaps after you HAVE had some of these experiences you will feel differently about an engagement ring.
Don't forget, he also said one person's experience "means nothing", humans disgust him and deserve his contempt.
Last edited by phoenix_talons; 06-02-2008 at 05:51 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
