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Status:
"Pickleball-Free American"
(set 5 days ago)
Location: St Simons Island, GA
23,466 posts, read 44,108,506 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loveorangecounty
Wow, again about the sorority's. I am concerned about the alcohol, date rapes and general bad behavior of fraternities and sorority's but I think the thing that floors me the most is the air of snobbery. I guess I expected this generation to be beyond this archaic attitude. My hope and hers is that she'll find a more down to earth sorority that she is comfortable with. I know if they really judge her on the brand of shoes, purse, dress whatever, she will run down to the nearest Target and buy a new outfit to shock them....and then get kicked out. It's not that she couldn't afford to dress like that, it's just not a priority. She'll find her "group" whether it's in a sorority or some other way. She is a pole vaulter and also considered vaulting in college. While touring Auburn our waitress had just graduated from Auburn and was in a sorority. We asked quite a few questions about the college and the sorority's, she gushed about both, and commented how flexible her sorority was compared to some. I am just having a really hard time wrapping my mind around that ALL sorority's have this superior attitude. How is that fun?
God knows how many sleepless nights I spent like you are now. Three daughters. Miraculously, they all made it to adulthood intact.
Frankly, it sounds like you have done a stellar job and your daughter can take it from here. It sounds to me like you have less to worry about than you think.
Wow, again about the sorority's. I am concerned about the alcohol, date rapes and general bad behavior of fraternities and sorority's but I think the thing that floors me the most is the air of snobbery...
loveorangecounty - the members posting on this site that have direct and personal experience with the sorority system from my take had a positive experience and wonderful experiences and friendships. That does not mean that you should not go into it without realistic expectations. The majority of the negative and fearful comments that I have read here are primarily coming from individuals that don't have direct experience and in many cases are stereotypes and rumors.
As an out-of-state student at Mizzou, I felt a bit lost not knowing anyone at a large university. Joining a sorority (KD) gave me a home away from home and an immediate circle of friends as well as lots of activities, philanthropies, and yes, social events to attend. Moving around the country after college, it was also a way to meet people and have an instant group to help with relocation.
That said, rush/recruitment is exhausting and often brutal, especially if you don't know what to expect. And at the SEC and some ACC schools, rush is very competitive. This is great training for grad school and job interviews after graduation.
But, before you even start to think about sorority life, you need to get working on the college apps, essays, tests, etc.
The majority of the negative and fearful comments that I have read here are primarily coming from individuals that don't have direct experience and in many cases are stereotypes and rumors.
LOL, I seen some frat boy stuff that I wouldn't feel comfortable talking about on here. My twin bro and his roommate were put in a frat boy dorm their first year at Clemson.
My direct experience with sororities is more limited but one thing I noticed was how much they argue with each other and basically insult each other. It would sound real nasty but maybe this is just how they talk to each other. I don't see how anybody could stand that kind of thing for long though. My wife said their were always girls backstabbing other girls in the sorority and fighting over boys.
All I know is for many of the frats and sors, it is about hooking up and alcohol, and some hardcore drugs like heroin. Some of this talk about academics and impressive accomplishments and charity work and it preparing you for job interviews, etc, just sounds kind of phony when I compare it with what I have seen with my own eyes.
I have direct experience. At the time I loved it. I have maintained friendships with some remarkable women--like really remarkable women. Women who would not fit into anyone's stereotype of a Southern sorority girl, like an award winning playwright and director in NYC. I was thrilled to get a bid from my first choice sorority. We had plenty of opportunities for volunteerig and we had lots of fun that was not related to alcohol.
The fraternity boys who I was, and still am, proud to call my friends were respectful, considerate, and kind. Despite serious amounts of binge drinking, the majority of the greek students I was friends with managed to study hard, get good grades, and go on to very successful and fulfilling careers.
But, the whole atmosphere encouraged excessive drinking (IMO moreso than other campus groups), major body image issues and disordered eating (a significant number of girls in my sorority were anorexic and/or bulemic), an over-emphasis on appearance, to name a few of my concerns. Many girls ended up in very bad situations, with guys who might behave differently if they weren't drunk and surrounded by brothers who encouraged and applauded sexual aggression and worse.
Yes, there are many people who have wonderful experiences in greek life, but as a parent, I would be very aware, and make sure my daughter was aware, of the pitfalls. And I get more uncomfortable with rush with each year that passes as I write recs for girls I know and love.
LOL, I seen some frat boy stuff that I wouldn't feel comfortable talking about on here. My twin bro and his roommate were put in a frat boy dorm their first year at Clemson.
My direct experience with sororities is more limited but one thing I noticed was how much they argue with each other and basically insult each other. It would sound real nasty but maybe this is just how they talk to each other. I don't see how anybody could stand that kind of thing for long though. My wife said their were always girls backstabbing other girls in the sorority and fighting over boys.
All I know is for many of the frats and sors, it is about hooking up and alcohol, and some hardcore drugs like heroin. Some of this talk about academics and impressive accomplishments and charity work and it preparing you for job interviews, etc, just sounds kind of phony when I compare it with what I have seen with my own eyes.
As I have said, I would not encourage my daughter to rush. But in my sorority, and in others on my campus (I had very close friends in 2 different groups in addition to my own) there was absolutely not arguing or insulting or back stabbing and fighting over boys. I did not witness that or experience it, in fact girls were supportive and encouraging and continued to support and encourage each other through graduation and beyond. The only drug I witnessed being used was alcohol. I would guess that perhaps the commitment to academics would depend on the individual school and the student population.
I just believe there may be ways to make connections in college without some of the, in my opinion, distasteful aspects of the greek system. But I am prob. not a good resource for the OP anyway--if I had to do it again I would choose a different school without such a big emphasis on Greek life.
To the OP, re: rush at UGA coming from out of state:
"My daughter is currently participating in sorority rush at UGA. Let me share a few specific observations about rush at Georgia. First of all, I’ll give you a little background about how we got to where we are. My wife and I both attended college at Ole Miss, aguably the site of the most competitive, cut-throat Greek system in the free world. We anticipated rush at any other school to be tame compared to what we were used to (misconception number one).
My daughter got accepted to UGA (and the Honors Program) against tall odds. With so many Georgia residents staying in state at UGA due to the Hope Scholarship, admissiion for out of state applicants is HARD. So admission was the biggest hurdle, right? WRONG! (misconception two) The worst odds have proved to be breaking into a Greek system that is too small for the number of eligible rushees going through “recruitment.”
Now obviously I’m partial, but trust me when I say that my daughter would be an asset to the “best” sororities on campus. She’s intelligent (Honors Program), she has a great sense of humor, and she’s attractive. Ask anyone who knows her, and you will find that these are consistent descriptions. However, she is going into Pref Day with a distinct likelihood that she will withdraw from rush. Say what you want, but no one should be advised to accept a bid to any sorority that they aren’t completely happy with.
The problem? The University of Georgia is becoming, on all fronts academic and social, a university exclusive to Georgia residents. You might think that’s great if you’re the parent of a Hope Scholarship child, but it certainly doesn’t breed diversity. This exclusivity has influenced the Greek system. Although there is a large number of sororities at UGA, the quota (about 56 this year) is half of what it should be. The number of sororities shouldn’t influence the quota; rather, the quota should be determined by the population of the student body. With less that 15% of students coming from out of state, there just aren’t enough spots for even the most competitive rushees when they’re competing against girls who have fifty friends from high school in the system already.
All I want to say is this: If your daughter is not from Georgia and doesn’t have friends in sororities at UGA, she is staring at a huge disadvantage compared to Georgia girls in rush. We’ve seen this with many other girls in rush this year, not just my daughter.
I was elated when my daughter wasn’t going through rush at my alma mater….little did I know we were jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. Sometimes your job as Dad is to explain to your daughter that she was a victim of the numbers and that there was really nothing she could do to change the results of her rush. Unfortunately, this won’t make her (or you) feel any less slighted."
Both college admissions and sorority recruitment is a numbers game and the basic problem is that there are too many qualified people applying for two few spots. College tour guides work hard to convince you that their school is the most wonderful place on earth and sisters will tell you how fabulous it is to be an XYZ. And then reality hits with that rejection letter or not getting invited back. And you're "a victim of the numbers."
So, in both pursuits you just have to try your best and be realistic. If rejection happens, know that there really isn't anything else you could have done. And, when one door shuts, another one opens. Life goes on, most likely for the better in a different place or with different people by your side.
It's a sad day when a B+ student can't get into the top tier colleges. Good grief. I think all of these AP kids are really blowing the situation out of control. Now a B+ isn't even good enough. Geesh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by roxyrn
To be realistic, UGA is probably not going to happen for an out-of-state B+ student. She's not going to get into UNC or GT, either. Alabama and LSU are better safeties but the Greek systems at both schools are extremely competitive.
Have you considered midwestern schools such as Oklahoma/Oklahoma State, Iowa State, Missouri that have good programs and sororities with houses to live in?
As far as admissions seeming so very random- true. What you don't know about the kids with lower grades/scores is if they are legacies to the schools and if so, how much their parents or grandparents have donated.
The problem with the entire college selection process is that colleges encourage kids to apply to boost their numbers and those applicants think they have a chance to be accepted. When those rejections come, it is hard for them to accept.
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