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A new job with no accrued vacation time is reason enough. Tell them you don’t want to jeopardize your job and that if they really love you they wouldn’t put you in this position. Throw the guilt back on them.
There ya go. Problem solved.
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Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
A new job is a perfect reason not to go. Any reasonable person would understand that.
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Originally Posted by ironpony
Well I've been working there for four months now exactly, and they say that is enough time to get a couple of days off.
Your parents do not run the company. If your company does not offer any vacation days for six months or for one year, it is not your fault and their is absolutely nothing that your parents can do about that.
Is Mommy planning on talking to the CEO and telling him/her "My baby boy needs a few days off to go on vacation with his mommy and daddy." Just imagine who that will work out on your new job.
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Originally Posted by FairMindedLL
Your parents don’t get to dictate when and how much vacation your company gives you. Only the company gets to do that. Just tell your parents you don’t have any vacation available so it’s not possible for you to go. If they’re that unreasonable then they’re going to be upset no matter what good reason you give for not going. You can’t change their reaction. You can only change how you deal with it. Good luck.
Doesn't matter what chicagoliz considers a special event. This is a special event for the OP's family.
There is absolutely nothing in the post or anywhere in the thread to indicate that this is a any sort of special event. All of the statements have indicated this is a typical trip that the parents take every year. It was indicated that the trip could be moved to a different time. There is no indication whatsoever that there is anything unique or particularly important going on.
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Originally Posted by ironpony
I said I didn't want to go as we go every year and I got a new job a few months ago, and I am also busy with some filmmaking projects I want to do this summer. To which they kept asking me to go so I said okay to shut them up, but then really didn't want to and felt I would talk about it again the next day and then the bought tickets.
This does create a bit more of a problem, but not an insurmountable one. You could offer to pay for the ticket they bought that is unusable.
Doesn't matter what chicagoliz considers a special event. This is a special event for the OP's family.
No, it's not. A wedding, funeral, graduation, is a (hopefully) once in a lifetime thing. You only get one chance to see your cousin get married, or pay your respects to grandma when she passes. Therefore, you go, even if you might not really want to, or you just saw them a few months ago. This is a yearly visit. It will be just like last year's visit, with no wedding, no funeral, no "occasion."
OP, are you and your brother able to care for yourselves? If you don't go, will your parents be forced to stay home with you?
There is absolutely nothing in the post or anywhere in the thread to indicate that this is a any sort of special event. All of the statements have indicated this is a typical trip that the parents take every year. It was indicated that the trip could be moved to a different time. There is no indication whatsoever that there is anything unique or particularly important going on.
It's a trip that the family takes every year. In other words, a family tradition.
The OP wouldn't have started this thread if it wasn't a really big deal with his family.
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if I don't they get really upset and disappointed about it.
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how can I convince them without them getting upset over it and feeling so rejected?
No, it's not. A wedding, funeral, graduation, is a (hopefully) once in a lifetime thing. You only get one chance to see your cousin get married, or pay your respects to grandma when she passes. Therefore, you go, even if you might not really want to, or you just saw them a few months ago. This is a yearly visit. It will be just like last year's visit, with no wedding, no funeral, no "occasion."
It's a yearly family tradition. It's clearly important to the parents that this continues.
OP, is this an Asian culture thing? If so, maybe you should ask other Asians. A lot of us here can't relate, so our responses may not be all that helpful, if there's something culture-specific going on.
This post seems to have been overlooked.
There may be things we don't understand about the OP's situation.
It's a yearly family tradition. It's clearly important to the parents that this continues.
Why must it be a once in a lifetime thing?
Why must you be so obtuse? Do you not see the difference between a wedding and an annual trip. Is there a reason a visit has to happen EVERY year? How about every other year?
No, it's not. A wedding, funeral, graduation, is a (hopefully) once in a lifetime thing. You only get one chance to see your cousin get married, or pay your respects to grandma when she passes. Therefore, you go, even if you might not really want to, or you just saw them a few months ago. This is a yearly visit. It will be just like last year's visit, with no wedding, no funeral, no "occasion."
OP, are you and your brother able to care for yourselves? If you don't go, will your parents be forced to stay home with you?
I can take care of myself but not sure if my brother can. And no, this just a typical trip they take, no special events at all.
Do you always resort to personal attacks when you don't have a sound argument?
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Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
Do you not see the difference between a wedding and an annual trip.
Of course I do, but it's completely irrelevant. Do you not understand that this yearly family tradition is a big deal to the parents?
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Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
Is there a reason a visit has to happen EVERY year? How about every other year?
I don't know. It's not my business or yours.
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Your parents do not run the company. If your company does not offer any vacation days for six months or for one year, it is not your fault and their is absolutely nothing that your parents can do about that.
