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A few years back, my sister's husband and brother, who detested each other, dug their heels in about Christmas dinner. I invited my sister, who said my brother should NOT be invited. Well, I made the mistake of inviting him. Her husband said she could go but "not with my kid" meaning she had to leave her daughter home with him. She was so angry at me, crying and berating me, "you invited him knowing my husband wouldn't come, you invited me first, why did you invite him, blah blah". I called my brother, told him what happened, and rescinded the invitation which was very hard to do. This was twenty years ago. He has not spoken to me in all that time. Meantime, my sister divorced her husband and she reconciled with my brother.
I guess what I'm saying is, sometimes it's a lose/lose situation. Someone, somewhere will be upset. Should it be you? Good luck.
Why would anyone voluntarily subject themselves to this level of drama? I'd just decline and say the best excuse that comes to mind.
I think in many instances the spouse demands you go. I'm fortunate my wife doesn't mind that I prefer to avoid family gatherings outside of weddings and funerals
I am sorry your tradition is being up-ended this year. That doesn't seem very fair, but from here it looks like you go along to get along with your wife. Probably wise.
Nah.... life chit just got in the way. I mean a week ago I met a 23yo guy at a hunting area. No dog, had him tag along. got him some pheasants. Hunted with him yesterday, got him more pheasants. He was up at zero dark thirty to go duck hunting with his dad, met me at 11:30 to hunt pheasants, and he tells me at 2:30 that he's dropping his pheasants off at home and hunting ducks in the afternoon.... I just can't do that anymore... LOL I don't feel 56, but spend the day in the field chasing game, you take one shift.... 16 month old Labrador doesn't get it, and doesn't get that we can't look for pheasants on Sunday here... My future son in-law has a hunting license and he got extended an invitation to hunt Monday. Waiting to hear back. Wife does not care if I go hunt Thanksgiving morning. Logistics just come into play. If I take future son in-law out for ducks (wife's son doesn't hunt yet and he's host so he hosed himself) If I pick one spot I'm 20 minutes from stepson and wife and I end up with 2 vehicles and I have to take a shower there. Or I pick another spot and FSIL and I are both 40 minutes from home and have to go home and shower....then drive to the dinner with our women.
Really, I think the bigger problem is that wife's sister accepted the invitation.
I'd rather sit in my duck hunting boat with my dog and drink coffee then pick up some chinese food on the way home. But, I have to go to the dinner. If I go hunt first thing then go to the dinner, I'll be the guy asleep at the end of the couch.
If something turns into a problem, which is high odds, it's on my wife's son. He should know better by now. If my wife wants to reconcile with her sister, which is highly unlikely, my wife will do it on her own terms on her own time. A family holiday dinner is the wrong time and place.
Ok, so here’s the thing...go hunting another day, the ducks will be there on Friday, support your wife’s desire to make nice with her sister. If it goes haywire, leave, and pick up Chinese on the way home. Be the hero. Take a bullet for the team.
Ok, so here’s the thing...go hunting another day, the ducks will be there on Friday, support your wife’s desire to make nice with her sister. If it goes haywire, leave, and pick up Chinese on the way home. Be the hero. Take a bullet for the team.
You don't get it.... wife is P!SSED that her son invited her sister. For her the day is ruined two weeks before it occurs. If you didn't see it, this goes back over 9 or 10 years before I even met her. Wife has no desire to make nice, she doesn't want her there. Just creates unnecessary tension for everybody there.
You don't get it.... wife is P!SSED that her son invited her sister. For her the day is ruined two weeks before it occurs. If you didn't see it, this goes back over 9 or 10 years before I even met her. Wife has no desire to make nice, she doesn't want her there. Just creates unnecessary tension for everybody there.
Then don't go! Oma can see the grandbaby any time.
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