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I'd rather sit in my duck hunting boat with my dog and drink coffee then pick up some chinese food on the way home. But, I have to go to the dinner. If I go hunt first thing then go to the dinner, I'll be the guy asleep at the end of the couch.
If something turns into a problem, which is high odds, it's on my wife's son. He should know better by now. If my wife wants to reconcile with her sister, which is highly unlikely, my wife will do it on her own terms on her own time. A family holiday dinner is the wrong time and place.
We simply don't associate (phone or in person) with family who cannot get their act together. Luckily our mini clans are self-identifying and we've only ever had to have a talk (and then not talking) to one person. Sure, we've had disagreements over whether or not we should reach out to someone "such-and-such is your <insert relation here>!" but ultimately if someone makes you uncomfortable, don't force a member of your own household to tolerate them and make their holiday awkward.
The hardest part about holidays for us is coordinating an agreeable schedule among all the invitees. Some years we've had two Thanksgivings or two Christmases. My favorite is getting to go out to eat for the off-scheduled one and not having to deal with any cleanup! We're weird and unorthodox but it works, and I can't imagine it any other way.
Ha ha, your family is so different than mine! We have no trouble bailing on problematic changing invitations.
I'm going down to Texas to spend it with immediate family. We were going to do it at my brother's house, but then his wife invited her entire giant family from out of town. So my mom, sister, daughter and I said NOPE! Not dealing with that.
So it will just be the 4 of us women at my sister's house. Life is too short.
Everyone in my family loves dogs, so we used to sometimes (with prior permission) bring our dog, as she served as a sort of social buffer. I could also excuse myself to take her outside if I wanted to get away from everyone for a while. It wasn't necessary, but it was nice to have her around as a potential distraction.
Of course, at parties, I'm the one who usually ends up spending as much time with the dog as the people
Well, different bites for different likes. Everyone in our family loves dogs too but I don't want people visiting with their dogs (the exception would be my BIL and SIL because their dog is so chill and our dogs like him so there's no dog drama). Especially not when there's a house full of people.
Well, different bites for different likes. Everyone in our family loves dogs too but I don't want people visiting with their dogs (the exception would be my BIL and SIL because their dog is so chill and our dogs like him so there's no dog drama). Especially not when there's a house full of people.
Yep, and that's why I said that I ask permission first. I totally get your preference, but my extended family enjoys having a quiet, well-behaved dog come along. I get that not everyone wants that, though, and it's definitely not okay when people just show up with a dog or two in tow.
Go late. Shut up and eat. Socialize a bit. Leave early. It can be done.
This is what I did the last two times. I made an appearance. Caught up with what everybody had been doing. Ate and a few hours later left.
However, I didn't have to book a flight or hotel. I was in the same city as my mother. Family members would gather at her house.
Now, that she passed away I am asked to fly to another State. Asked to fly again next year to another family gathering.
I could afford the travel cost but prefer not to go especially during the busy holiday season.
Maybe in another 3 years or so we can get together and catch up.
Again the key here: Carefully craft an excuse. I realize we're all adults and I can say no anytime but I want to keep on decent terms. I am not close to my brother or sister but I don't want to be at odds either.
As I mentioned before my brothers wife and brothers wife's father new wife don't get along.
According to my mother the last Thanksgiving dinner was spent together at brothers wife's father house. My brother and his family took off after dinner. No sitting around chatting. Just hello, thank you and goodbye.
I've never seen my brothers wife and fathers wife interact. However, given how much they apparently dislike each other it might be fun.
My sister is hosting Thanksgiving dinner at her house and demanded that I make the sides! Then, she decided that it would be more of a Thanksgiving luncheon than dinner, so we should all be ready to sit down to our dinner around 1:00 p.m. My husband is totally ticked off and threatening not to come, but he will if I really want to go.
That is such an inconvenience because I am still putting the finishing touches on my food that early. The earliest I would be comfortable eating Thanksgiving dinner would be around 4:00 p.m.
1.) Y'all don't have to go. Talk it over with your wife. Plead your case.
2.) If you still go, be very careful how you park. Don't get blocked in. Park down the street if you must, preferably facing the direction you need to drive to get out. All this so you can leave on a dime if you must. Brought to you by year of get togethers with my former in laws
Yes yes! Funny I found this thread. I'm also dreading it too because my mil is coming
I just can't stand her because she has yet to admit and apologize for the crap she said about me ...
I remind my husband of this every day.
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