Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Dog always goes there with us all of the time. But last Thanksgiving he was a 5 month old pup. Not a good time to bring him and I don't plan to. What I don't want is to put him in his crate at 10 in the morning and not get home untl 8pm. I can't even get an answer on when they plan to serve dinner.
Great reason to minimize your time with the family... dog left home in crate too many hours. If you have to leave before the meal insure you have food in the car for the trip home.
My sister is hosting Thanksgiving dinner at her house and demanded that I make the sides! Then, she decided that it would be more of a Thanksgiving luncheon than dinner, so we should all be ready to sit down to our dinner around 1:00 p.m. My husband is totally ticked off and threatening not to come, but he will if I really want to go.
That is such an inconvenience because I am still putting the finishing touches on my food that early. The earliest I would be comfortable eating Thanksgiving dinner would be around 4:00 p.m.
Seriously, the only way I would agree to do this was if my parents were still living and coming to the dinner.
Otherwise, I would simply say, “The change in time does not work for us so we will be celebrating at home, but you all have a lovely holiday!”. There is no way you should be responsible for ALL the sides!
DH’s family always have huge gatherings (for everything) which neither one of us enjoys - juggling plates on our laps, loud, lasts too long, etc. We live far away so have a built-in excuse. Thanksgiving was always a fun affair with just our kids and now expanded to their spouses. We all cook together and have a very enjoyable day.
To the OP, if you have to go to appease your wife, lightly socialize, remove yourself from a group that gets nasty and park far away for your escape route. Personally I would not put up with an unenjoyable holiday situation. If it goes badly this year, that would be the end of such gatherings in the future. Unnecessary stress.
Dog always goes there with us all of the time. But last Thanksgiving he was a 5 month old pup. Not a good time to bring him and I don't plan to. What I don't want is to put him in his crate at 10 in the morning and not get home untl 8pm. I can't even get an answer on when they plan to serve dinner.
Well, I would start with getting the time for dinner down. If they just won't do that, then you and your wife need to just 1) bring some side dishes they can do with or without, or bring dessert, and 2) just pick a reasonable time for dinner and then be there then. Hint - later is better because there are always leftovers! And you can shorten your time there!
Then you don't have to leave the dog in a crate all day. Everybody wins!
But the suggestion I like the most is to forego the whole thing, go hunting in the morning if you like - or not, if you'd rather not (sleep in!) and then take your wife to a nice restaurant for dinner. Then go see the grandchild sometime over the holiday season - make it festive! But just you and your wife and the grandbaby's parents - not the sister and all that drama.
If the dog is going to be crated all day anyway, he may as well be in the car where you can always have a ready excuse to go walk him a bit when you want out of the house.
I'll bet that's a pleasant conversation to have constantly.
Family members can easily push buttons.
When our mother was alive she lived in a house I owned. My brother said to me, "I'd never live here"
The implication being the area isn't nice as where he lives.t
Totally uncalled for and if it were anybody else I'd think fine. Won't be inviting you over again.
But it's family so I watch what I say. Boundaries. It's all about boundaries. I just won't see my brother again for awhile. Won't attend family gatherings unless they are convenient. This is one advantage of living in a different state.
I mentioned yesterday my brothers wife's father remarried shortly after wife (brothers wife's mother) died.
The new wife is several years younger than my brothers wife. It doesn't take a shrink to understand why my brothers wife might not have been thrilled about the marriage. Given it occurred less than a year after her mothers death and the new wife was younger than she.
Now, they (brothers wife/kids) live in the same city as the father so both families got together often. But whatever riffs occurred apparently never properly healed.
At last count when the two families got together for the holidays my brothers family bolted out the door shorty after dinner finished. I recall my mother being upset because she flew over and the evening was done in an hour or so.
Well, I would start with getting the time for dinner down. If they just won't do that, then you and your wife need to just 1) bring some side dishes they can do with or without, or bring dessert, and 2) just pick a reasonable time for dinner and then be there then. Hint - later is better because there are always leftovers! And you can shorten your time there!
Then you don't have to leave the dog in a crate all day. Everybody wins!
But the suggestion I like the most is to forego the whole thing, go hunting in the morning if you like - or not, if you'd rather not (sleep in!) and then take your wife to a nice restaurant for dinner. Then go see the grandchild sometime over the holiday season - make it festive! But just you and your wife and the grandbaby's parents - not the sister and all that drama.
Sleeping in for me is up before 6am. Sleeping late is 6:15...LOL. If I try to sleep later, doggo is my alarm clock and wants out of his crate before 6:30am...
If dinner is 1pm, I can't do a morning duck hunt. If later I can go and try to not nod off at my stepson's. I mean I'm up before 4am if I go out.
Wife's attitude is apparently, "it's my son's house, my granddaughter, and their problem for inviting my sister. I'm not going to back out of their party then my sister wins. So if I suffer everyone suffers."
Reality is that her sister knows it's a problem if she attends and should have not accepted.
Sister is a hairdresser and the DIL has her cut her hair and she is the one who apparently extended the invitation. She apparently has been not in a good relationship with my wife lately. May be some passive aggressive thing.
wow I feel lucky! I have one relative (sister) and she doesn't do holidays. I would stay home alone, happily, but got invited by a friend who lives with her mom. I think I will be doing her a favor by coming. She does not appear happy about living with her mom, who I gather is crotchety. And it will be non-traditional, mom doesn't like turkey.
Sleeping in for me is up before 6am. Sleeping late is 6:15...LOL. If I try to sleep later, doggo is my alarm clock and wants out of his crate before 6:30am...
If dinner is 1pm, I can't do a morning duck hunt. If later I can go and try to not nod off at my stepson's. I mean I'm up before 4am if I go out.
Wife's attitude is apparently, "it's my son's house, my granddaughter, and their problem for inviting my sister. I'm not going to back out of their party then my sister wins. So if I suffer everyone suffers."
Reality is that her sister knows it's a problem if she attends and should have not accepted.
Sister is a hairdresser and the DIL has her cut her hair and she is the one who apparently extended the invitation. She apparently has been not in a good relationship with my wife lately. May be some passive aggressive thing.
OK sleep in till 6:15. Or don't. Relax and enjoy your morning. I didn't say you had to go hunting - don't go if it won't work for you. My point was to choose a time to get there and a time to leave and don't let it be hours and hours and hours - that's why I suggested "later is better." Bring a dessert. Eat leftovers if they've already eaten the meal. Say hi to everyone, stay about an hour and then just leave.
My sister is hosting Thanksgiving dinner at her house and demanded that I make the sides! Then, she decided that it would be more of a Thanksgiving luncheon than dinner, so we should all be ready to sit down to our dinner around 1:00 p.m. My husband is totally ticked off and threatening not to come, but he will if I really want to go.
That is such an inconvenience because I am still putting the finishing touches on my food that early. The earliest I would be comfortable eating Thanksgiving dinner would be around 4:00 p.m.
Quote:
Originally Posted by shamrock4
Seriously, the only way I would agree to do this was if my parents were still living and coming to the dinner.
Otherwise, I would simply say, “The change in time does not work for us so we will be celebrating at home, but you all have a lovely holiday!”. There is no way you should be responsible for ALL the sides!
(snip).
Of course, you should not be responsible for all the sides but isn't it the hosts prerogative to decide when to eat at their home?
Our extended family almost always has holiday meals at noon or 1 PM (for the last few decades). My brother puts the turkey in the oven sometime in the middle of the night.
If you don't want to eat at 1 PM tell your sister "No" and eat your Thanksgiving dinner at your home after 4 PM.
Last edited by germaine2626; 11-12-2019 at 02:48 PM..
Wife is making her famous sweet potato pies that she only makes for Thanksgiving. We never get the pyrex pie pans back... I think she needs to make five and we are down to 3 pans...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
