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I did not leave my apartment today. Too depressing to go out. I have to get up at 4:30 to go to work tomorrow anyway.
I have friends but most are coupled up, have their own families, or just live too far. I didn't receive an invite either. Don't have very much in the way of family.
I think this is 8 years in a row now. I don't impose myself on anyone, so...
I’m going to miss my Mom this year.
She is in her 80’s and has a really bad cold.
She only lives a couple miles from us so we will deliver a nice plate to her.
Mom and us are going on holiday for a couple weeks in 2 weeks so she wants to be healthy for that.
I think this is her first Thanksgiving alone.
Happy Thanksgiving Folks
When I first moved sixty miles away from where I had spent my first 50+ years, I spent New Year's Eve alone and looked forward to it.
I got on the couch with some snacks and fell asleep watching TV around 10. Woke up sometime after midnight and went to bed.
Then I woke up around 6:30 remembering that the guy on TV had said what time sunrise would be in the morning...it was something like 7:11, IIRC.
I jumped out of bed, threw on some clothes, and drove the six miles to see the sun come up over the ocean, and took this photo, January 1, 2011. It remains one of my best New Year's memories ever. It was a time of new beginnings.
That is what i want to do! Spend Thanksgiving at the beach. I don't even care if i am by myself!
I want to spend all of November, December, January and Feb at the beach!!!!
I didn't go back home this year. I was going to, but some.....weird drama....going on with my dad left me without a place to stay, and while my cousins would be willing to have me, it'd be awkward for a number of reasons. (I love my cousins, but they are *extremely* extroverted, and I am more introverted--I enjoy my time with them, but I do need downtime from people, and they tend to not understand this.) And given the finances this year, getting a hotel room plus a car to get around was out of the question, so I elected to stay home.
I did invite a friend over, however, who was in a situation where she wasn't able to be with her family either. We ate foods we wanted, and binge-watched some sci-fi shows we like.
Well, I am here the day after TG, with tears streaming down my face. Today is my daughters 46th BD, hoping she is still alive. She has been missing since 1989, she disappeared between TG and Xmas. Today is also the specific day of the week of her birth. Always hurts so much more.
My house used to be the one everyone wanted an invite to for TG. I now rent a room in someone else’s home. I am on the kidney diet so no traditional dinner for me, no glass of wine or fancy drink.
I have not celebrated Xmas since, traded it for Yule. TG found my late husband and myself hosting every “single” person we knew, in her honor. Xmas found us serving at The Lighthouse, how most local homeless shelter. We fulfilled wishes from the local wishing tree at the feed store. Part of me died with him in 2002. I lost everything then.
I’m sick, impoverished, heartsick and hanging on by my last toenail until the “holidays” are over.
Well, I am here the day after TG, with tears streaming down my face. Today is my daughters 46th BD, hoping she is still alive. She has been missing since 1989, she disappeared between TG and Xmas. Today is also the specific day of the week of her birth. Always hurts so much more.
My house used to be the one everyone wanted an invite to for TG. I now rent a room in someone else’s home. I am on the kidney diet so no traditional dinner for me, no glass of wine or fancy drink.
I have not celebrated Xmas since, traded it for Yule. TG found my late husband and myself hosting every “single” person we knew, in her honor. Xmas found us serving at The Lighthouse, how most local homeless shelter. We fulfilled wishes from the local wishing tree at the feed store. Part of me died with him in 2002. I lost everything then.
I’m sick, impoverished, heartsick and hanging on by my last toenail until the “holidays” are over.
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. Sending you a hug from Colorado.
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