Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I do not understand the excitement. OP claims to be a business woman. Pick up the phone and get the situation cleared up. Spending days to circle around an email sent and apparently ignored does not do anything.
When my late husband was in law school all the professors said "Never give away free legal services. Always write the actual bill and then tell them that they save a certain percentage due to Family and Friends discount". The professors said that when people got things for free they often didn't appreciate them as much as if they paid something for the services. And, if they did not know the real cost they might not know how much a bargain you are giving them.
Perhaps you can tell your friends "Normally we charge $700 plus a $200 cleaning fee (or whatever) for a weeks stay at our vacation home but because you are our dear friend we will only charge you the cleaning fee (or a certain percentage of the costs)"
I agree 100% and even went so far as to draw up a schedule of fees for friends and family. My mate refused to implement it saying that it would make us look "cheap" and instead limited the amount of time that we allow others to use the space without us also joining them to months where its less popular with paying guests. These guests had asked years ago about this specific week and because it was so far in advance we were able to accommodate. Charging at a discounted rated would be a fantastic idea in my opinion. I do think people dont value what would actually not be affordable to many at market rate.
Great point. But (for easy argument) our email said "we are pleased you can spend some time at the lake house again this year. We have been able to reserve the first of the month through the 7th for your stay. We have guests leaving on the day before your stay and arriving the early morning of the 8th so please let us know what time your flights get in on the first/leave on the 7th so I can make sure the cleaning crew has done turnover. "
I don't know if that left any room for debate. And that's precisely what we sent to these people.
It opens the topic of travel methods, which is how they got you into this mess.
I've never had an accommodations host mention or refer to my flight/travel method. They are always to the point about the rental house, and speak to me ONLY about check-in/check-out times.
"Check-in is at 3 pm on Feb. 1 and check-out on Feb. 7th is 11 am." The end.
Once you mentioned their flight, which was an unknown, it gave them an "in" to start negotiating with you on workarounds.
Since they are testing your generosity, I think that going forward I would send out a message at the end of the year saying that you have enjoyed hosting them in the past but demand has increased, and your property is already reserved this year.
Still somewhat unclear if this "group" is really friends/family as posited in the opening post. Subsequent posts make it seem like they're not.
My BIL has a cabin on a NH lake and has the same arrangement...family can stay, gratis, as long as they know that revenue rentals take precedent and are non-negotiable (dates). They stick by it.
Wow, if I getting a place to stay for free or sweetheart deal, I'd be anxious to show my appreciation and not upset my host. If they mentioned I needed to get a hotel the last night, the only thing to say is "absolutely, we will do that, and thank you again for letting us stay there".
I think you put a premium on good manners which Is wonderful. I expect that and am always saddened when it doesn't happen.
We have a couple of short term rentals and one is a lake house we allow friends and family to enjoy when we can. I agreed to give a group a week during the summer with very specific dates. I recently learned they bought plane tickets (VERY early) for a day beyond what we offered. Both my mate and I were extremely clear as we have paid guests checking in on the morning of the day of that these guests are now saying they will also be staying on.
My mate said "you will have to find a hotel that night" and the group suggested that they stay with us (not nearby) due to the 'misunderstanding. " We will both be working and cannot accommodate them. We told them this and said "you can change your ticket or we can suggest a hotel near the lake house. Its early enough that both should be available. " No.word back yet except that they are excited to stay.
Its clear that these people think we should put them up and fo not want to incur a change fee for tickets. We sent dates in writing and spoke verbally. I'm about to withdraw the entire invitation. How would you handle it?
In don't know...if these were my friends I would be happy to have them stay a night with me because I enjoy spending time with them. But it appears you and your mate both work the night shift so I can see how that would be impossible. Still for my friends, I would let them stay in the house without me, because I like them.
These friends are trying to take advantage of them.
OP, just to be clear. You are letting them stay FOR FREE?
This group wanted to invite another family to join them last year. We said no because we don't know those people and it was going to be a lot of guests in the house at once. There was a little pushback on that "no." Now this year there us an extra day tacked on from what we said we could do. You do have to be very strict with a popular vacation spot. We feel we are pretty generous with what we provide. This group is staying when it would 100% be rented. And it's free accommodation for our guests. I do feel as though it's a little over the top to ask for more than is offered.
I think it's time to kick these 'friends' to the curb.
I think it's time to kick these 'friends' to the curb.
I agree. It's hard to imagine true friends being so grabby like this. Makes me wonder.
My wife and I have access to a resource (I prefer not to add details) that we are happy to share with friends/family and we have three simple rules, which 95% of the friends/family follow...the 5% that don't get privileges revoked right away. In each of those cases it's usually a matter of the friend trying to extend or modify privileges. NOPE!
It is truly amazing how people can extend the boundaries of hospitality. Also, completely true that what is considered “free” is often not valued or appreciated.
When we had our condo, we gave a week to someone (in high season). When she arrived, she immediately called us to complain that the refrigerator was not fully stocked with food for the entire week. She huffed that if we were “giving” her a vacation, it certainly should include her food. Say what?!
Believe me, after that our condo was “fully booked” for the entire year when she asked. Doubt she believed it but we Did. Not. Care.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
