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...... And it's free accommodation for our guests. I do feel as though it's a little over the top to ask for more than is offered.
I think it's stupid of you and your spouse to be letting friends stay there for free. They probably think it's stupid too but that won't stop them from taking advantage of your offer and then asking for more and pushing the limits of the boundaries you try to set for them.
Being taken advantage of by acquaintances and relatives seems to be the story of your life. You both allow it to happen repeatedly so it's no wonder that so many of your friends and relatives treat you like pushovers.
Maybe you should both be re-evaluating what it is about yourselves that you're trying to prove to these people that you let take advantage of your foolish generosity.
When my late husband was in law school all the professors said "Never give away free legal services. Always write the actual bill and then tell them that they save a certain percentage due to Family and Friends discount". The professors said that when people got things for free they often didn't appreciate them as much as if they paid something for the services. And, if they did not know the real cost they might not know how much a bargain you are giving them.
Perhaps you can tell your friends "Normally we charge $700 plus a $200 cleaning fee (or whatever) for a weeks stay at our vacation home but because you are our dear friend we will only charge you the cleaning fee (or a certain percentage of the costs)"
I totally agree with the professor! My husband worked in IT and is very generous with helping friends and family with their computer problems and has never charged anyone. It is rare that we're at someone's house that they don't have some kind of computer problem - and that doesn't count all the phone calls. What I find objectionable is that a number of them are calling because of problems with computers or phones that they use for business. It boggles my mind that none of them would give a thought to how much it would cost them if they had to contract these services - or that they charge for the services that they provide - and we're talking a plumber, an orthopedic surgeon, an accountant and a travel agent, to name a few. As the professors said, they don't appreciate this as much as if they had to pay for it, but over time they become demanding and want immediate assistance.
I personally think people like free and if they had to pay a "friends and family discount" rate, they may find they're not as interested in using a vacation accommodation, legal services, IT services, etc. - and they'd be much less quick to ask to use whatever the resource is if there is any cost for it.
^^^As a working writer, I never provide services for free, even for friends and family. I'm constantly being asked to edit papers, write resumes, etc. and I have a special fee structure for people who ask for a "favor."
That said, OP is unwise to offer her vacation home to anyone for free. Especially people who don't really seem to be her friends, although she calls them that.
^^^As a working writer, I never provide services for free, even for friends and family. I'm constantly being asked to edit papers, write resumes, etc. and I have a special fee structure for people who ask for a "favor."
That said, OP is unwise to offer her vacation home to anyone for free. Especially people who don't really seem to be her friends, although she calls them that.
Double your normal rate?
While I agree that many people don't appreciate things they don't have to work for, it sounds like the OP extends the offer to a number of family members and friends....and only has an issue with this couple.
I know a few families who open up Vail homes and summer homes to family and friends and have never heard one complaint. Not everyone is irresponsible.
"No" is the most powerful word in the English language. Those who know how to use it typically don't need to write posts on the CD forum asking for advice.
When my late husband was in law school all the professors said "Never give away free legal services. Always write the actual bill and then tell them that they save a certain percentage due to Family and Friends discount". The professors said that when people got things for free they often didn't appreciate them as much as if they paid something for the services. And, if they did not know the real cost they might not know how much a bargain you are giving them.
Perhaps you can tell your friends "Normally we charge $700 plus a $200 cleaning fee (or whatever) for a weeks stay at our vacation home but because you are our dear friend we will only charge you the cleaning fee (or a certain percentage of the costs)"
Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo
I agree 100% and even went so far as to draw up a schedule of fees for friends and family. My mate refused to implement it saying that it would make us look "cheap" and instead limited the amount of time that we allow others to use the space without us also joining them to months where its less popular with paying guests. These guests had asked years ago about this specific week and because it was so far in advance we were able to accommodate. Charging at a discounted rated would be a fantastic idea in my opinion. I do think people dont value what would actually not be affordable to many at market rate
.
A good friend of mine used to work at a large counseling agency (psychiatrists, psychologists, and various trained counselors). They had a sliding fee scale for people who did not have insurance (or where the insurance wouldn't cover their fees).
My friend said that the low point in the sliding scale was always an actual dollar amount and was strictly enforced (such as $10 per hour for an appointment with a psychologist and $5 an hour for an appointment with a counselor). She said that her agency had far, far less cancellations/missed appointments/disgruntled clients/etc. when they had to pay something for the services (even a five or ten dollar bill) than just having everything for free.
I have a very similar situation.
We had to black list one person because the person was taking advantage of us.
Even brought friends.
Person never cleaned anything other than no dishes in the sink.
There would be dirty sheets, dirty fireplace and stuff like that.
The person would even also ask for money.
Not big money but like that they spent $30 and change for stupid stuff.
Said person did much much more but I don’t want to print it.
My house is now off limits to this person.
We don’t even allow said person to visit us when we are there.
Ungrateful people will suck the life out of you if you let them.
I don’t even care about the money.
I give $hit when I wake up at night mad at myself for being taken advantage of.
My advice is to black list them.
You will have less stress.
Good luck to ya.
We have a couple of short term rentals and one is a lake house we allow friends and family to enjoy when we can. I agreed to give a group a week during the summer with very specific dates. I recently learned they bought plane tickets (VERY early) for a day beyond what we offered. Both my mate and I were extremely clear as we have paid guests checking in on the morning of the day of that these guests are now saying they will also be staying on.
My mate said "you will have to find a hotel that night" and the group suggested that they stay with us (not nearby) due to the 'misunderstanding. " We will both be working and cannot accommodate them. We told them this and said "you can change your ticket or we can suggest a hotel near the lake house. Its early enough that both should be available. " No.word back yet except that they are excited to stay.
Its clear that these people think we should put them up and fo not want to incur a change fee for tickets. We sent dates in writing and spoke verbally. I'm about to withdraw the entire invitation. How would you handle it?
Exactly as you did. I'm surprised they asked to stay with you. Your mate would have offered if that were an option.
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