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I think a lot of people assume others like to talk about themselves and they ask about your origin just to make conversation. They may find you exotic and interesting, and they are curious. They may want to learn from getting to know more about you, ultimately finding that we all have more in common than they think.
I highly doubt most people who ask such questions are being intentionally rude. However, I can also understand that some people may feel uncomfortable when they are reminded that they sound or appear different from most of those around them. If someone presses you for answers even after you've indicated you don't wish to discuss it, then they are being rude.
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I agree with this.
I think most people who ask are simply attempting to be friendly and learn more about the person. It's entirely well-intentioned.
But I can also understand the other side of it. My parents are immigrants (whose first language is English) who came here over 50 years ago. In recent years, my mom has expressed slight dismay that, after picking up on her accent, people still ask her where she's from. My mom is not an overly sensitive person, but she now interprets the inquiry as people indirectly telling her, "you'll never be one of us. You'll never entirely belong here."
I don't think that's what people mean by asking the question, but I feel bad for any immigrants who feel the way my mom does.
My daughter gets asked that quite a bit, she too has Irish and Cherokee from my husband’s side, she definitely has Native American features. She isn’t offended by it at all and living in two foreign countries has helped her to blend in quite a bit.
Americans believe it's just making innocent conversation and most times it is. Immigrants take it differently. My mother was a Caribbean immigrant whose accent somehow got stronger the more years she spent here and she hated being asked that. So I avoid it.
What? Don't believe you about what? You aren't from America - that's not an insult. You live here, you are (or soon to be) a citizen, that's all fine. But you are not from here. Why is that rude? I am not from here either. Are you not proud to be from where you are from?
I am American but am not from America - that's not bad, I am proud to be where I am from. I don't get it. Don't understand why you are interpreting it is rude at all.
I am half irish and half cherokee, I have some native american features. I used to go to a supermarket where the only cashier used to ask me where I am from....
I stopped doing business there !!!!
Period. Yes, that question is offensive.
Years ago, I was teaching English as a second language to a group of South Koreans and one of the older women asked me if I was married, then with an appraising eye asked me how much money I made. I took offense to neither question - whether the rules are different in South Korea culture, or she was just nosey, I had no idea. Later, I found out she was thinking of fixing me up with someone.
You can either choose to go through life looking for things to offend you, or let things go. I choose to let things go. It's a healthier way to live one's life.
I think most people who ask are simply attempting to be friendly and learn more about the person. It's entirely well-intentioned.
But I can also understand the other side of it. My parents are immigrants (whose first language is English) who came here over 50 years ago. In recent years, my mom has expressed slight dismay that, after picking up on her accent, people still ask her where she's from. My mom is not an overly sensitive person, but she now interprets the inquiry as people indirectly telling her, "you'll never be one of us. You'll never entirely belong here."
I don't think that's what people mean by asking the question, but I feel bad for any immigrants who feel the way my mom does.
Do you think your mother became sensitive to it because others are sensitive to it? It doesn’t sound like she was offended until someone suggested it was offensive.
My mother was an immigrant and so is my MIL. I’ve grown up with people taking interest in my family’s heritage and it’s part of my married life as well since my husband has an ethnic look that is hard to discern. Nobody on either side has taken offense.
I was visiting a family member in a rehap one day yrs. back and the doctor was speaking w/ an accent I couldn't recognize and after he left I asked the nurse where he was from. She got very defensive and said "What does it matter"? I have no clue why she got defensive over it.
An accent is usually based on where you happened to live as a young child and the accent you heard while learning to speak. You could easily grow up in a household of UK immigrants living in New Orleans LA, USA and still learn to speak with a British accent. You could grow up in a household of US immigrants living in London and still learn to speak with a New Orleans accent.
Actually, this isn't generally true. Sure, there will be exceptions, but we usually acquire our accent from our peer group as kids, not from our family. We learn to speak the language from our family, but we mostly get our accent from the other kids we go to school with and play with.
Examples from my experience: My father was 6 years old when he came to the US from Russia, not knowing how to speak a word of English. His parents spoke only Yiddish at home. My father grew up speaking English with a Pittsburgh accent -- the accent of the other kids in his school and neighborhood.
My cousins grew up in the American midwest but moved to Israel as a young married couple. Their kids were born and raised in Israel. Only midwestern-accented English was spoken in their home, but the kids, although fluent in English, speak it with a strong Israeli accent.
Some friends, life-long Florida residents, moved to live on a military base in England. Their young daughter attends an elementary school off the base, in the local community. She speaks with an English accent.
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