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Statistics mean very little to me when it comes to human relationships and foibles. I know too many marriages that have lasted 45 years and been home to cheating, abuse, unhappiness etc. BFD
In this case, that doesn't matter. What matters is whether the paternal grandmother feels she'll have access to the grandchild. I see multiple strikes here. They're not married and we don't know how long they were together before deciding to have a child so we don't know how stable the relationship was before they decided (hopefully decided) to have a baby. Her relationship is strained with her son who sided with his father in the divorce. She may not feel warm and fuzzy about her prospects for being allowed to be a grandmother.
This is a pure wild shot in the dark, but my gut tells me this isn't the case.
Or maybe she's saving it for herself. After all, it is HER money and she doesn't owe it to either of them or the baby. Maybe she feels others have already done enough and there is no need for her to do anything. Who knows. It's her choice what she does with her money and no one should be judging her for it.
We had money. We no longer do. It happened a little over a month ago. Before that we had to move and put down 3 months worth of rent/deposit for the new apartment...and we also paid another 2 months ahead. That alone was over 7 thousand dollars.
Rent where we live is not cheap...neither is anything else.
I will only say that I think rubbing someone's nose in something when they are in a bind is pretty crappy. As for the rest of your post, it's pure speculation and not something I'm entirely interested in getting into a back and forth about.
You should look at people as people, not statistics. Does she owe them something? No. The fact that she is choosing to not invest herself or at the very least offer a little help speaks a lot to her character. Or lack thereof.
We look at statistics when trying to predict the future.
Compare two situations:
1. They were togehter for four years and were part of his mothers life before deciding that they were so much in love they wanted to have a baby .
2. They had been dating several months and had not been a part of his mother's life when a condom broke.
Which one would make you skeptical? Which one puts you more at ease? Statistics matter when we're trying to predict things. Yes, people are individuals and some defy the odds but most don't.
Hm, he lost his job when I was 8 months pregnant. We never saw it coming. Do you realize how bad the economy is in this country now?
I don't know why some of you like to throw in my face that we aren't married. She wasn't married to my boyfriend's dad when she had her son.
Does being married give you great parenting skills or something?
It certainly didn't give my parents any, as well as a lot of people I know.
Look I'm sorry he lost his job and yes the economy is awful.
But you stated in your first post that you were almost homeless back in February, so your financial problems are more than him just losing his job last month.
You weren't financially comfortable prior to the job loss. And by that I mean little to no debt and money in the bank.
I really don't care if your married or not, I do care when people have kids who can't afford them and then expect the taxpayer to foot the bill.
Or maybe she's saving it for herself. After all, it is HER money and she doesn't owe it to either of them or the baby. Maybe she feels others have already done enough and there is no need for her to do anything. Who knows. It's her choice what she does with her money and no one should be judging her for it.
Okay fine. It is her money.
With that being said....If you knew your son lost his job, his girlfriend was about to give birth and they were struggling financially, would you invite them over to your house to talk about the brand new truck you want to buy, the mink coat you bought for almost 2 thousand dollars, the trip you just took to Florida, the new bedroom set you just got and the new house you closed on?
Look I'm sorry he lost his job and yes the economy is awful.
But you stated in your first post that you were almost homeless back in February, so your financial problems are more than him just losing his job last month.
True, I was put on bed rest for months because of my pregnancy and wasn't able to work. I found a new job that was less stressful and actually allowed me to sit down and then he lost his.
We had money. We no longer do. It happened a little over a month ago. Before that we had to move and put down 3 months worth of rent/deposit for the new apartment...and we also paid another 2 months ahead. That alone was over 7 thousand dollars.
Rent where we live is not cheap...neither is anything else.
Well, you have your work cut out for you. At least, with him unemployed, you won't need day care when you return to work.
You may find that you're farther ahead with him home with the baby collecting unemployment than you would be with both of you working and paying for day care. My brother was home for two years on unemployment after his son was born. My nephew is so much closer to my brother than his wife. It's kind of nice to see how close they are.
let's don't overlook one thing. There are a lot of women who simply are not interested in babies. Even their own. They don't understand how other women feel, therefore they can't react as you think they should. They don't know how, or it never occured to them that they could or should.
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