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I think I will just let it go...just like I did with my mother and the fact that she has never been present in my life. It is sad and it is something I struggle with everyday but I think needs to be done.
Let go of your resentment, but don't completely cut her off.
Just accept she is what she is and stop letting it bother you.
You can't tell her to exclude her SO. How would you feel if she extended an invitation to her son but not to you and made it clear you were to be excluded?
He said he wanted to have coffee with her and talk about family related things...
The "fortune telling" is in regard to how her boyfriend's mother might feel. I know I would not be all warm and fuzzy if my step son were in this situation. In fact...he was... and it's been a mess from the word go.
It's not a great situation and his mother may not be up to dealing with it. Personally, I think they have bigger issues than her to deal with. I think the OP is wasting energy on things she can't change when she needs to be worried about the ones that have to change before her baby ends up homeless. For all we know, grandma may be concerned she's going to have house guests soon...or maybe she wants them...could be she's bragging to let them know how well off her home is... Mom's new boyfriend sounds like a show stopper though.
I agree that she has bigger things to worry about. But she's 9 months pregnant, and we all get a bit wacky at that point.
You keep pushing that it's not the ideal situation. Life is sometimes not ideal. To not be warm and fuzzy about the birth of your grandchild because their ducks are not in a straight enough row would be the future grandparent's loss.
She doesn't sound like she's planning on dumping anything onto grandma to be's lap. I think grandma might be a tad self absorbed. Whatever it is, the OP needs to surround herself with positives, not stress.
In her eyes, her boyfriend is family, just like you and your boyfriend consider each other family.
My boyfriend's dad said he wanted to spend a day with his son alone (without me) and I didn't take offense in that at all.
Why would I?
It is difficult to explain why there is so much animosity towards her boyfriend without sounding like I am being completely biased. We don't like him. Period. I don't like him because he has no respect for my boyfriend, he is living with my bf's mom, he is married to his wife and has been for 10 years and won't get a divorce, and he is also engaged to a 3rd woman in Florida, he has put my boyfriend's mom against her siblings, he brainwashes her and she is too blind to see. We sublet his apartment for a while, he was responsible for half the rent because he still used the apartment, but he didn't pay his share and we almost got evicted. I am the one who does the finances and everything is always taken care of but he made it look like it was all our fault and she bought it...even though the landlord only took him to court for unpaid rent after finding out he was pocketing the money we were giving him for the rent. (I kept all copies of the money orders we bought ). Our utilities got shut off because he also pocketed the money we gave him to pay for it. After that we learned our lesson but then ended up moving out because the guy who owned the house put it on the market.
He is too shady and we kind of worry about her but we can't say anything because then she will never talk to us again.
Then we found out he has 2 felonies on his record, did jail time and does some shady business on the side. My boyfriend and his brother worry about his mom but what are they supposed to do? It's her life right? Better stay out of it...?
It is difficult to explain why there is so much animosity towards her boyfriend without sounding like I am being completely biased. We don't like him. Period. I don't like him because he has no respect for my boyfriend, he is living with my bf's mom, he is married to his wife and has been for 10 years and won't get a divorce, and he is also engaged to a 3rd woman in Florida, he has put my boyfriend's mom against her siblings, he brainwashes her and she is too blind to see. We sublet his apartment for a while, he was responsible for half the rent because he still used the apartment, but he didn't pay his share and we almost got evicted. I am the one who does the finances and everything is always taken care of but he made it look like it was all our fault and she bought it...even though the landlord only took him to court for unpaid rent after finding out he was pocketing the money we were giving him for the rent. (I kept all copies of the money orders we bought ). Our utilities got shut off because he also pocketed the money we gave him to pay for it. After that we learned our lesson but then ended up moving out because the guy who owned the house put it on the market.
He is too shady and we kind of worry about her but we can't say anything because then she will never talk to us again.
I understand he is an idiot. I'm just pointing out why she brought him along. I have girlfriends who bring their boyfriends and spouses to everything. It's very annoying. But that's what they want to do. It's not really my place to tell them that they can't bring their SO to breakfast, shopping, etc.
You've got a mess on your hands. From what you've posted, your life hasn't been drama free. And you were in financial trouble long before your boyfriend lost his job. It truly sounds like you have been surrounded by drama long before you met your boyfriend, maybe your entire life. For your sanity and the sake of your new baby, it's time you learned how to mellow out and not allow yourself to be drawn into drama.
Just focus on your baby, your family, your finances. Let everything else fall to the sidelines. It's time to learn how to stop riding the drama roller coaster.
This has worked well for me. Expect nothing from anyone, ever. Then, graciously appreciate any help you receive.
Having no expectations of behavior from others is best, because they can't read your mind and know what you want them to do...so why are you mad when they did not do what you wanted? Why do you think others can read your mind?
I was always in "trouble" when I was married, because my ex wanted me to be a mind reader.
Just focus on your baby, your family, your finances. Let everything else fall to the sidelines. It's time to learn how to stop riding the drama roller coaster.
I don't like drama but yes, it's been present in my life a lot...
Despite of going through such a financial mess right now, this is the happiest I have ever been. Makes no sense, does it? But I guess it doesn't have to.
But MILs do this. My children's bio mother did it. When I confronted her, she told me outright that she didn't want to get emotionally attached. Honestly, she had every right to protect herself emotionally. I was doing everything I could to lock the abusive loser in jail for eternity---I didn't keep that a secret. I had him thrown in jail twice while I was pregnant. She was older and wiser than me. She knew darn well that I wouldn't be able to allow my children to continue a relationship with her at some point in the future. Doing so would have put them at risk.
She finally met my children three or four years ago. I ran into her accidently while grocery shopping. I immediately hugged her and apologized, explaining I couldn't take the risk. I wanted her to meet them but I feared she would reveal our location. She assured me she wouldn't---she had finally cut off contact with him herself eight years earlier. And she told me that she completely understood, all along, why I had done what I did, that she expected I would do it from the beginning and she felt I did the right thing. My children and her have been enjoying getting to know each other over these past few years.
It's a shame you ended a friendship over that. I struggled financially as a single mother in the very early years. When my friends went on vacations, I never felt jealous. They deserved them. Ironically, once I finally gained financial stability, one of those friends was jealous that I was going on vacation one year when she couldn't. I wasn't jealous when she could go on vacation and I couldn't. She shouldn't have been jealous when I could go on vacation. After everything I had been through, I would expect my friends would be thrilled for me---just as I was thrilled for them. I have never understood jealous people.
There was more to it than just that. I was at a get together one time and and a mutual friend who arrived just found out he was being laid off and had just bought a house.
This "friend" said "oh good gives you two something to whine about" in front of a room full of people.
Another time they inquired how I was paying my bills( I had been laid off about 6 months and this was back when you got 26 weeks of UE benefits not 99).
Mind you they weren't offering any help, just being nosy. I said I have savings and if push comes to shove I have family who can help. To which they replied "how old are we?".
It had nothing to with being jealous, there are people who aren't nice and enjoy others misfortunes.
They're toxic and you don't always see it until you're in a bind. That is why I ended the "friendship", it had nothing to with being jealous.
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Mom's new boyfriend sounds like a show stopper though.
