Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Behavior therapist, specializing in adolescents with suicidal/self-injurious behaviors. I've seen a lot of concurrent substance abuse issues, not surprisingly. A lawyer would probably know off the top of his/her head what the legalities are - I'm working from memory here. Ultimately my point was that there area lot of ways to set up contingencies so that an adolescent will act in his/her best long-term interests (e.g., consenting to random drug testing) without having to compel compliance, if that makes sense? I think parents absolutely need to intervene, but IMO, it should be done in stages, not starting off with something like a drug sniffing dog. I see that and legal action as measures of last resort, rather than first-line intervention.
I could ask my father about that as I'm not sure. I agree you need to be vigilant but it's also hard to know WHEN you have to be like that.
I could ask my father about that as I'm not sure. I agree you need to be vigilant but it's also hard to know WHEN you have to be like that.
I think that's the million dollar question. I strongly encourage parents who suspect that their child is using to get a professional consult with a therapist well-versed in substance abuse issues (ETA: for themselves to figure out a plan of action, if the teen doesn't consent to treatment) who can advise based on the specifics of the situation. There are a lot of variables involved, IMO.
How about some kid getting a police record because a bag of pot was found in the house?
I probably would not choose to hire a service such as this. I would likely address the symptoms that were leading to my suspicions. But this is not a great reason not to in my book. If you are prepared to play, be prepared to pay. If you posses, you run the risk of getting arrested for possession. Mom should not be protecting you from that.
I probably would not choose to hire a service such as this. I would likely address the symptoms that were leading to my suspicions. But this is not a great reason not to in my book. If you are prepared to play, be prepared to pay. If you posses, you run the risk of getting arrested for possession. Mom should not be protecting you from that.
No it is not easy. Teens, if you can ever remember being one, have very severe peer pressure to deal with every day.
If you are using the same approach regarding teen sex, expect to see some grandchildren....soon.
Since you quoted me and posted this response, I'll say that I not only remember being a teen... I also raised two.
They are both in their twenties, married, homeowners, without kids.
I think I did just fine, as did they.
Since you quoted me and posted this response, I'll say that I not only remember being a teen... I also raised two.
They are both in their twenties, married, homeowners, without kids.
I think I did just fine, as did they.
You were lucky. Saying simplistic things about serious topics did not protect your kids. If you did not address potential drug use and teen sex seriously, (which requires a bit more than "Don't do it") then you were lucky, or your kids were able to get the right information at the right time from someone else. You can be certain that they had to make choices about both more than once while growing up. Maybe they made the right choices because of their church or a respected teacher.
Anyway, (not anyways, which is not a word) I'm glad they turned out ok. Unfortunately things are worse today, and they might not do as well if you were raising them today.
I do not believe that any minor should be taking any drugs, illegal or perscription, without their parents permission. I believe this not only because parents have a right and responsibility to protect their children, but also because minors are not always capable of following, to their conclusion, the logical consequences of their actions.
This has been demonstrated recently by scanning child brains and seeing, literally, how they process information and what areas of the brain are being most active at that time. They simply think differently than adults - and that's why they need our guidence, not some catch phrase from a former First Lady, or a flip remark.
You were lucky. Saying simplistic things about serious topics did not protect your kids.
Lucky?
Luck had NOTHING to do with it.
Raising good, happy, law-abiding citizens took time & hard work, and plenty of it.... by both my husband and I, and the rest of our "village" (Sorry, that is probobly one of those catch phrases you seem to dislike, but it applies here!).
And sometimes simple is best....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beaconowner
Anyway, (not anyways, which is not a word) I'm glad they turned out ok. Unfortunately things are worse today, and they might not do as well if you were raising them today.
I really don't think things changed so much in the past few years.....
When I was in high school parents could buy urine tests that tested for pot and other drug use. I guess this is a more sophisticated approach. If I suspected anything I'd look for signs of my kid being high rather than tearing apart his room or hiring a drug-sniffing dog.
Fortunately for me I haven't been driven to this extreme with my own kids so I don't want to presume to judge parents desperate enough to call in the dogs. However:
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifelongMOgal
Afterall, it is the parents home and they are both legally and morally liable for what goes on in their home.
I did have to make a call for my nephew when he was a teen--he had stayed with me and my g-ma all summer while we did our best to instill some values in him but my sis was such a loser that abandoned him and all he wanted was to go back with her. My aunt offered to take him for a week and while he was there, she found a liter bottle full of kerosene in his backpack. She called me and wanted to know what to do and I called a friend who is a family counselor she said he was probably huffing it and she advised me to report it to the division of family services. They did come over and talk to him and it did not go well but as she told me, if I had not made the call and he had died or ended up in the hospital and then they'd found out that we knew about it, we could all have ended up in a lot of trouble, so even harmful decisions like these are probably better than sitting around doing nothing. My family was cross with me for awhile but I didn't care--he needed to know that someone cared about whether he lived or died and it wasn't fair that they were madder at me than the loser sis who was ultimately responsible.
In other words, when people do things like this, they probably have their back up against a wall so please don't judge them harshly.
Until people in MO and elsewhere pack away the jack boots and look at teen drug use as a medical and social problem, and not a criminal act, we won't make progress on this issue. .............
Nice
Until laws are changed it is indeed a criminal issue that the parents can be held liable. Additionally it is a social problem, and potentially a medical problem, most definitely a parenting problem.
Keep kids busy enough, be it with homework, activities, and/or a job, and they will not have either the time or energy to get into trouble be it abusing drugs or otherwise.
I was on the straight and narrow because I had respect born of fear of the consequences my parents would bring down upon me if I ever so much as dared try an illegal substance while living under their roof. I was almost never left alone or to my own accord. Bored kids find trouble, or as it used to be phrased, idle hands are the devil's workshop.
Jackbooted thuggary, no; good parenting, yes.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Today is your lucky day.
Hitler reference, really?
