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aaaahhh, the memories.....first off, i started when my two were in 1st grade of getting THEM to organize themselves in the am and the reward was having 15 to 20 minutes of free time to do whatever before the 6 to 9 hours of school sport homework etc..(besides if mama ain't happy....LOL) but my son, and not sure if it was 7th or 8th grade got into a bad habit of "lollygagging"...hence the creation of mama's lollygag wardrobe!.....been going for a few weeks of near misses for the bus, forgetting stuff etc when he did miss...i attired my self in my flannel highwater pants jammies, with my fuzzy green robe, striped socks, bunny slippers and black and orange skull cap(school colors ya know),made more exciting by my gilda radner hairdo..got my keys and said let's go..it was a silent ride to school..maybe cause he was crouched down so low couldn't get his voice out..any how.we got there , he thought i was going to just accept the gruff thanks and he was going to run for his life into the building..but wait there's more...i GOT out of the car..started to run after him , me yelling what no hug..LOL....ah my job here is done..the bonus , one of the kids yelling hello to me from one of the front classes...no shame in my game...when he got home..he said no more lollygagging , i showed him..2 more hideous oitfitts said that's good cause i wear this one i go to the office with you and this one i walk to class..fortunately for me...no more repeat performances..but has been a running joke for years...and one he's passed onto his kids....don't make grammy put her lollygag outfits on...hahaha....thank for letting me share
Why would he be in any sort of hurry? All he will be doing is sitting in a room, and listening to some guy or girl spew out some sentences. He has been doing this since he was in school. It is nothing special. Your son knows it is a waste of time.
I have not read the other posts, but I am sure some people in academia have told you about the importance of being alert, so they can take notes and "learn" from the lecture. Frankly, it is as ineffective a way of learning, as it is ineffective in and of itself as a speech, and as ineffective as most teacher trying to communicate something.
Consequences can be a strong deterrent to misbehavior. However, consequences need to closely resemble the broken rule as much as possible in order for kids to learn from it. Removing electronical privileges for being slow during morning routines has no meaningful connection that your son can learn from. However, I have the solution for you.
Having worked with many families'who have also experienced children who were slow with their morning routine, a perfect logical consequence would be for your son to wake up earlier each morning in order to fulfill his morning routine responsibilities. Additionally, waking up early would require him to have an earlier bedtime. Your son's wake up and bed time would need to be determined on a trial and error basis assessed on his ability to fulfill morning routines. If it is an issue of fatigue, this new routine should correct it. If it is an issue of laziness, your son will begin to realize that his behavior is causing his bedtime to be earlier taking him away from activities that he enjoys.
^^I beg to differ that taking away electronic "toys" would not be a motivator. While that may be true for a kindergartner, the parents usually know what motivates their kid, and this kid is almost 13 years old! When my younger daughter got to be driving age, taking away driving privileges worked like a charm. There are other kids who wouldn't care.
I will say, the OP's kid has a lot to do in the morning. We were happy if our daughter got up, dressed, ate breakfast (could be in the car), gathered up her things for the day and was ready.
My son started 7th grade, he will be 13 in November.
For as long as we can remember, he has never been in any sort of hurry in the morning.
She doesn't like to yell at him and keep on him in the morning.
What do other parents do to get their young ones motivated to get ready in the morning?
We wake him up at 6 (6:30 at the latest), and he needs to leave the house by 7:30 to get to school on time.
Here is what he needs to do in the morning:
-feed dogs and let them outside. The night before he puts the food in the dog bowls and leaves them in the garage. So all he needs to do is grab the bowls and set them down. Once they eat, he just has to open the kitchen door and they go outside on their own.
-take a shower. I know that this can be done at night to save time, but his hair will look greasy if he showers the night before. It is best for him to shower in the morning.
-scoop the litter box. This is done twice daily, so we aren't talking like a lot of stuff to scoop
-eat breakfast. my wife makes him breakfast every morning
So that is it. But she is constantly telling to eat faster, to not take 5 minutes putting shoes on, etc.
There is no real sense of urgency with him
We need advice. As it is, we don't allow him to use electronics during the week. So he can't play video games or on his computer. Unless he needs to go online for school, of course.
What kind of consequences can we give him?
IMO, he is obviously doing it out of protest for you micromanaging his life.
Stop being so controlling, he has nothing to look forward to besides you making go to school which is awful despite the social interaction, a part-time zookeeper and then I'm sure he gets to hear at the lunch table the joys the rest of the kids have with free time and electronics.
If my kid maintains a 3.0+ GPA and continue to showing a continued advancement in learning and maturity with age and relative to other children, he has free reign within the rule of law.
I would have acted in the exact same fashion Moderator Cut.
Last edited by Jaded; 08-16-2013 at 09:05 PM..
Reason: Argumentative
Sounds like he needs a little more sleep. Teenagers need a lot of sleep because their bodies are developing rapidly due to puberty, this is the cause of the sluggishness in the morning. Whoever said you should wake him up earlier, that will backfire. It is a proven fact that sleep-deprived teens do poorly in school, whereas teens with the necessary amount of sleep (or even better, more than enough) will flourish.
Personally, I could have never done all those chores in the given time. I preferred to have a little leeway time in the morning when I could relax before heading off.
If it is an issue of fatigue, this new routine should correct it.
How can getting less sleep possibly reduce fatigue, that would have the opposite effect. The key here is that he needs more sleep so that he can actually have some energy in the morning.
Give any high schooler a few extra hours of sleep and you'll see a noticeable increase in their performance at school and home. In Europe, high schoolers traditionally take a 2-hour nap in the afternoon--and their educational scores are wildly ahead of ours.
Even now in flying college, I am required a minimum number of hours of rest time before I am allowed to take my trainer Cessna 172 out for a lesson. They don't want us falling asleep at the yoke (an airplane "steering wheel" so to speak").
Even now in flying college, I am required a minimum number of hours of rest time before I am allowed to take my trainer Cessna 172 out for a lesson. They don't want us falling asleep at the yoke (an airplane "steering wheel" so to speak").
I'll bet you would never dwaddle on your way to flight school. It's something you like and look forward to, right?
Kids poke around and miss the bus when they are bored/hate/aren't challenged by school. Kids don't take 5 minutes to put on their socks if they've got something to look forward to.
This kid has cat litter box cleaning and school. I'm beginning to feel his pain.
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The key here is that he needs more sleep so that he can actually have some energy in the morning.
