U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-25-2019, 03:03 PM
 
Location: North Idaho
23,749 posts, read 30,526,024 times
Reputation: 47440

Advertisements

I would never do anything to discourage a teenager from holding a job and earning some of their own money.


This country is full of young adults who feel that they should be able to sit on their butt all day while someone else does all the work and takes care of their every need. A teen who wants to hold a job should be encouraged. It is a valuable life skill.


Teenagers tend to be azzhats. That's part of trying to raise a teen. With very few exceptions, their life is difficult and they respond by acting difficult.



A sit down discussion and maybe write down a schedule for her to follow. She will handle it better if it is organized.


You can quietly and gently point out that you are adding another chore to your day to drive her back and forth and that you still need her to carry her share of the household chores.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-27-2019, 01:31 PM
 
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
3,979 posts, read 9,556,014 times
Reputation: 8062
She should keep the job and you should drive her, unless she truly cannot handle it.

Is she having work issues? Is the overwhelmed with job + school + chores? Helping her identify the issue and having her discuss plans to resolve it are part of the growing up process. Have an ongoing convo with her about her goals.

I can tell you that my youngest son (started working at 14); couldn't keep up with one of his chores. He ended up switching and/or paying his brother to help him out. I don't know the specifics, but they figured it out. He did try to pay me to do the chores (um, no); but I did appreciate and encourage his problem-solving skills.

Alternatively, at one point, one of my sons wanted to buy a car. He was working crazy hours, while doing the school thing, to save up for the car + insurance. The rest of the family chipped in to help him with his chores. We did it to support him and we wanted to send a message that the family works together and picks up the slack sometimes. He definitely appreciated it and we enjoyed helping him.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-28-2019, 06:36 AM
 
48 posts, read 7,779 times
Reputation: 63
Well, this weekend didn't go over so well.


I didn't give her a ride to work, I went about my life as normal all weekend, Minus bowing down and catering to her. she didn't go to work either, and is now fired.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-28-2019, 06:41 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,180 posts, read 44,533,233 times
Reputation: 90319
Congrats. Great job!

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-28-2019, 07:37 AM
 
13,088 posts, read 10,434,352 times
Reputation: 10157
Quote:
Originally Posted by confusedparent1 View Post
Well, this weekend didn't go over so well.


I didn't give her a ride to work, I went about my life as normal all weekend, Minus bowing down and catering to her. she didn't go to work either, and is now fired.
Wow, ok, is there not a bus that she could have taken? Admittedly our culture does have a problem with "automobile dependency".
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-28-2019, 07:54 AM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
6,152 posts, read 6,837,999 times
Reputation: 3188
Quote:
Originally Posted by ncole1 View Post
Wow, ok, is there not a bus that she could have taken? Admittedly our culture does have a problem with "automobile dependency".
Yeah because the bus is such a safe place for a teenager.

Her mom should just suck it up and make sure her kid gets to work on time.

I’m now 30 and I wouldn’t take a bus or walk places because it’s not safe and I’m not about to get assaulted or worse.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-28-2019, 07:56 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,180 posts, read 44,533,233 times
Reputation: 90319
OP, you don't sound like a parent.

You sound like a roommate who is annoyed with the person you live with. The way you talk about her doesn't makes sense for someone who supposedly has spent 16 years raising a child and (presumably) learning how to do that along the way.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-28-2019, 08:21 AM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
4,051 posts, read 1,848,905 times
Reputation: 5247
Quote:
Originally Posted by confusedparent1 View Post
Well, this weekend didn't go over so well.

I didn't give her a ride to work, I went about my life as normal all weekend, Minus bowing down and catering to her. she didn't go to work either, and is now fired.
Parents like YOU are the reason why I got good at navigating my city's transit system as early as age 14, and took buses to work and summer school like it's nobody's business. Also why I fought tooth and nail when my parents first wanted to move to distant suburb: I knew I'd be a prisoner in my own home that way, like your daughter. My parents relented, and moved to a suburb with a somewhat decent transit system. Have fun kicking yourself in 2 years, when your daughter moves away and never comes back.

Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
I’m now 30 and I wouldn’t take a bus or walk places because it’s not safe and I’m not about to get assaulted or worse.
We must live in different worlds. I've been walking and taking buses/trains since high school age. Granted, I always stayed north of Roosevelt Road (north of 35th Street today, because gentrification), but I'm still around. In fact, I'd prefer to do that all the time, if I had a choice. But this is 'Murrica! We don't want no stinkin' pedestrians in your streets!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
You sound like a roommate who is annoyed with the person you live with. The way you talk about her doesn't makes sense for someone who supposedly has spent 16 years raising a child and (presumably) learning how to do that along the way.
Nope. She's a parent, all right. Just a bad one.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-28-2019, 08:51 AM
 
Location: under the beautiful Carolina blue
17,529 posts, read 26,978,481 times
Reputation: 13520
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
OP, you don't sound like a parent.

You sound like a roommate who is annoyed with the person you live with. The way you talk about her doesn't makes sense for someone who supposedly has spent 16 years raising a child and (presumably) learning how to do that along the way.
well said.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-28-2019, 09:05 AM
 
48 posts, read 7,779 times
Reputation: 63
Sorry for being a bad parent ? What should I do ?

How should I deal with her slamming doors and yelling at me ?

her chores consist of taking out the kitchen trash every 2 days, and putting the dishes in the dishwasher and emptying them ..

Are the chores too much ?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top