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Do you really think that when you "inform" someone that smoking or obesity is unhealthy, this is the first they have heard of it? I wouldn't in a million years DREAM of "informing" my in-laws that smoking is unhealthy. This is totally absurd.
I might inform them that I love them and I wish they would quit because I want them to watch their grandchildren to grow up, but I think they already know this. They agonize over their smoking and have tried repeatedly to quit.
If you really go around "informing" people that smoking and obesity are dangerous, I'm sorry, but you come off as a moron.
Sorry but I have to disagree with you on not being responsible for each other. Its what you are a team for. To make up for each others weakness points.
Some people handle the money better or the cleaning or the diet. Its all about creating the balance TOGETHER to give yourselves a positive healthy future.
People that have addictions and problems are usually in denial of them or oblivious of the repercussions. For some people its food.
I agree with what you have to say, in bold.
I know that you are into fitness, diet and exercise. So wouldn't you naturally only get involved with guys that do the same? I'm seriously kind of wondering how this would come up?
I'll be the first to admit, that in my marriage, me and my ex really did not know each other all that well before we just became an item. She was in shape because she was young...I was in shape because I played football and worked out. It just never came up before, so I didn't see how it was my right to try and change the habits of something I never knew.
Sorry but I have to disagree with you on not being responsible for each other. Its what you are a team for. To make up for each others weakness points.
Some people handle the money better or the cleaning or the diet. Its all about creating the balance TOGETHER to give yourselves a positive healthy future.
People that have addictions and problems are usually in denial of them or oblivious of the repercussions. For some people its food.
And that is all right, Ms. Pitt. That is not how I would want a marriage. If you want one like that, and your spouse agrees, good on ya.
But again, only the person doing the overeating can stop it. You can't do it for them.
Actually, a GF's spending habits are none of your business whatsoever as they don't affect you in any way.
Oh so if I see a person I care about ruining her credit, spiraling deeper and deeper into debt, and digging a huge hole for herself, I'm supposed to just keep quiet. Wow. That's brilliant. And whether it's my business or not is irrelevant to JustJulia's question. She asked if I ever had occasion to tell someone something they might not like hearing and I gave that example.
I had to confront a girlfriend about her spending habits and how they were getting out of control. I knew she would be offended by my saying that she was being reckless. But I told her anyway and, just as I predicted, she got offended. We broke up. A few months later, I found out that she had to sell her car and move back in with her parents because she was broke.
It's not the same as having that conversation with a wife (sorry, I can't remember if you have been married), but that is a step in the same direction. There's another thread about a woman's $170,000 student loan debt and how her boyfriend or fiance left her. On the other hand, I read an article about a compulsive gambler who spent tens of thousands of dollars, was caught by her husband, reformed for a while, then was caught again when she was at the bank, emptying out the CDs that they had set up for their children. Massive betrayal. And yet her husband was trying to work it out with her, unsure whether their marriage was damaged beyond repair ... but not walking out the door either. (Well, who knows. Maybe he agreed to stick around for a while so they could sell their story and pay off some of her debt.)
Do you really think that when you "inform" someone that smoking or obesity is unhealthy, this is the first they have heard of it? I wouldn't in a million years DREAM of "informing" my in-laws that smoking is unhealthy. This is totally absurd.
I might inform them that I love them and I wish they would quit because I want them to watch their grandchildren to grow up, but I think they already know this. They agonize over their smoking and have tried repeatedly to quit.
If you really go around "informing" people that smoking and obesity are dangerous, I'm sorry, but you come off as a moron.
Where did I use the word inform? Of course people don't need to be informed that smoking is dangerous. The issue here is whether to initiate a conversation about it and explain that you're scared for that person's health, that you wish they would stop, etc. But if you're too afraid to even raise the subject because your partner is hypersensitive to it, then what kind of relationship is that?
Where did I use the word inform? Of course people don't need to be informed that smoking is dangerous. The issue here is whether to initiate a conversation about it and explain that you're scared for that person's health, that you wish they would stop, etc. But if you're too afraid to even raise the subject because your partner is hypersensitive to it, then what kind of relationship is that?
Ummm, right here...
"How is describing the consequences of one's behavior the sign of a callous heart? If you tell someone they're smoking will turn off others and cause them to be alone, does that mean you have a callous heart? No. You're just informing them what will result from their behavior."
It's not the same as having that conversation with a wife (sorry, I can't remember if you have been married), but that is a step in the same direction.
I may not have been married to the person, but the point is that I didn't avoid a difficult subject just because I was afraid my partner would be offended.
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