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The term "gold digger" is one of the traps men set to keep women off their money trail. Creation of this term was formulated to keep their money and get everything they want without expecting basic, instinctual responsibilities of a man. Men are suppose to be gentlemen and offer to pay for our dinner, our drinks and our entry fee. He is the one asking, he should be the one paying. I had a guy once asked me out to spend a night out on the coast line in fort lauderdale. Keep in mind that we had been dating for a year. Anyways, he asked me to go on this little adventure, and as we were 10-15min from our destination, he asked if I wanted to split the hotel room. I was shocked by this comment but I said yes either way. When we got to the coast line all of the suites were basically checked out. Anyways I said this is a sign, let's just spend the day and headed home. This guy was adamant about this idea, so he eventually found a vacancy. Anyways he handed the clerk at the desk his identification and credit card and said don't worry about it, he's got it. Anyways when we were ready to check out, he asked if he should put the rest on his card and I pay him back, which I answered yes. Anyways he dropped me home and asked if we could go to the atm right now to get the money, I said later, I'd call him in an hour or two with the money which I was upset about but had all intentions to pay back. He insisted he wanted at that moment. I was off course upset that this guy was hunting me down for half a hotel room money when a few hours or days hadn't passed. My advice to women is never pay for anything. If he is man enough to lay in between your legs and wants your valuable time he pays for everything. If he can't pay then he should never had mentioned the idea which means get lossed. I'm not saying from time to time a woman can't show affections of adornment by buying a man gifts if she gets spoilt from time to time. I think that thought should be welcomed. If a man can't fullfill the instictual qualities of professing, providing and protectingn then he is not your man or your not a keeper which in fact means he is in fact showing those attributes to someone else and you are just a play thing so best to move on.
Wow, that was awfully tacky of him to demand 1/2 of the hotel room charge, since it was his idea and most likely for his benefit anyway.
I can understand men expecting a woman to pay her way on a date if a certain amount of time has passed and she hasn't put out, but if she puts out, I don't think he should complain about paying for the food/drinks/entertainment. Also, there are men who booty call women, so unless you really know for sure where you stand with him (is he at all serious about you? or is it just for fun?), don't let him make you feel guilty about it. I wouldn't pay my way on a date if I had reason to suspect that he was just using me for sex.
If someone asks me out on a date, they should pay.
I agree regardless of the gender, "asker pays" is the best compromise for the "who should pay" threads.
Quote:
Originally Posted by temazepam
Wow, that was awfully tacky of him to demand 1/2 of the hotel room charge, since it was his idea and most likely for his benefit anyway.
I can understand men expecting a woman to pay her way on a date if a certain amount of time has passed and she hasn't put out, but if she puts out, I don't think he should complain about paying for the food/drinks/entertainment. Also, there are men who booty call women, so unless you really know for sure where you stand with him (is he at all serious about you? or is it just for fun?), don't let him make you feel guilty about it. I wouldn't pay my way on a date if I had reason to suspect that he was just using me for sex.
Hello,
Are you saying that sex only benefits men, therefore he should pay for the dates/expenses if she's "putting out"?
I don't think it's dumb. Many do view it as a kind of prostitution, so it's not out in left field to fear some kind of expectation. It's interesting to me. I don't have any experience with it since I didn't engage in traditional dating when I was single.
well its prostitution if the only thing the woman offers in return, is sex, but that's the fault of the woman offering. I have a lot more to offer than my awkward body
I've never read about splitting hairs about dating as much as I do on here..weird. but I should know by now that CD is not a real representation of the real world. I really don't get why if anyone-man or woman, enjoys someone's company, why the dollar amount spent really matters? Money is so replaceable, who gives? isn't it the great company that does? meh..in fact, dating doens't even have to cost much. its not about money either, its about finding someone that's right for you. why is that such a hard concept?
in the beginning I will do the paying, I have no issue with that, but if a relationship is established and we are past the initial stages I do expect the woman to chip in now and then
Contributing? Variable, but most women at least offer after a few weeks or so. Still, many women will never contribute on dates/nights out ever, even after marriage. Not neccesarily a sign of a gold digger, some women just have a firm cultural belief that men should always pay for dates/nights out.
I'd be much more concerned about a gold digger if she wanted me to pay for her individual expenses (clothes, gas etc) when we are just dating or refused to contribute to significant joint expenses in a full relationship.
Paying? Never. Contributing? Variable, but most women at least offer after a few weeks or so. Still, many women will never contribute on dates/nights out ever, even after marriage. Not neccesarily a sign of a gold digger, some women just have a firm cultural belief that men should always pay for dates/nights out.
Exactly! In my culture men take charge in asking you out and picking up the tab. Now that I live in America I don't mind cooking or shipping in after we are exclusive, but not before. Last year I went in A LOT of dates, and I never paid for anything. Men just grabbed the tab as soon as it hit the table. I don't understand why is such a big deal in this forum. Based on my experience, most men prefer to pay.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39
What I want to know is, is a woman being sincere when she offers to pay or is it a test? I just never can tell!
It depends. I don't offer unless I really mean it but I have friends who have offered and when the guy took the offer, they never went out with him again. Chicks are too complicated, that's why I only date men
What I want to know is, is a woman being sincere when she offers to pay or is it a test? I just never can tell!
Women have it made nowadays. They make as much or more than men and yet can still expect a man to pay for everything.
Well - as to the first part - it depends on the woman. Personally, I was always sincere when I offered to pay. To be perfectly honest - I don't like feeling indebted to people. When someone does something nice for me - I like to return the favor (no - I don't mean sexually to all you pervs out there! ).
I don't think either men or women have it made or don't have it made. I think the grass is always greener. Maybe women aren't expected to pay on dates - but women are expected to look really, really good. There is a lot of pressure on everyone these days.
And while you might not expect a woman to be drop dead gorgeous - there are men who do. And while I might not expect a man to pay for all the dates - there are women who do.
Just ended a "relationship" with a girl who ended it by texting me saying she needs a guy who pays for things the majority of the time.
wow; good riddance.
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. Chicks are too complicated, that's why I only date men
). 
