How long before she starts paying for dates? (girlfriends, female, young)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Exactly! In my culture men take charge in asking you out and picking up the tab
I suppose in your culture women are in charge of cooking and cleaning, right?
Quote:
Now that I live in America I don't mind cooking or shipping in after we are exclusive, but not before
Why wait until months or years have passed to be exclusive and maybe then offer to split the tip or something? Why wait so long? This is something that seems to be common in the west.
Quote:
I have friends who have offered and when the guy took the offer, they never went out with him again. Chicks are too complicated, that's why I only date men
I suppose in your culture women are in charge of cooking and cleaning, right?
For the most part, yes. Add to that taking care of the children.
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC
Why wait until months or years have passed to be exclusive and maybe then offer to split the tip or something? Why wait so long?
Months or years? The most I would wait is 90 days. If a guy I am dating and I can't agree on being exclusive three months in, is never going to happen. I might not offer to pay before exclusivity but I can do other nice things like cooking (which I am good at).
SOME women make an equal wage to men. However, most, on average, still only earn $.70 to the $1.00 men make. Unfortunately it's true.
That's an important point, too. Who treats should also depend on the individuals in questions. What works for two corporate lawyers isn't going to work for a grad student and a software engineer. I experienced the latter when I was in school and on a stipend and dated a guy who made many times more than I did. I couldn't match him dollar for dollar, even if I wanted to, and he understood that if he wanted to go to a concert or a nicer restaurant that I wasn't likely to have an extra $80 lying around. So he treated more often. I paid when I could, and cooked often, but it certainly couldn't have been equal.
Women will start paying immediately if they like you enough.
this is the truth; women only seem to hold your feet to the fire over this issue if they never really liked you in the first place.
I pay for dates out of habit. I actually like taking girls out, and paying for them, if they don't expect it.
it is the sense of entitlement, that paying for their ish is something we're "supposed" to do, that disgusts me. It reminds me of the mentality some guys have, when they pay for a weekend trip or some expensive date, and then expect to get laid.
That's an important point, too. Who treats should also depend on the individuals in questions. What works for two corporate lawyers isn't going to work for a grad student and a software engineer. I experienced the latter when I was in school and on a stipend and dated a guy who made many times more than I did. I couldn't match him dollar for dollar, even if I wanted to, and he understood that if he wanted to go to a concert or a nicer restaurant that I wasn't likely to have an extra $80 lying around. So he treated more often. I paid when I could, and cooked often, but it certainly couldn't have been equal.
I do that with my friends sometimes. If I want to go to a restaurant that I know they can't afford - I tell them I'm buying!
SOME women make an equal wage to men. However, most, on average, still only earn $.70 to the $1.00 men make. Unfortunately it's true.
Agree. I am sure that ALL the men that I date make more money than me. I work for a non-profit for pete's sake.
Also, as another poster wrote, women are expected to look GREAT on a date and that fellas, cost money. My nappy hair does not get straighten out in my bathroom, and besides, I am a vegetarian who only orders ONE drink and I always request them very light, so I am a cheap date... Wow, all of the sudden that does not sound so good
For the most part, yes. Add to that taking care of the children.
Interesting. Then I guess you guys really follow traditions both ways.
Quote:
Months or years? The most I would wait is 90 days. If a guy I am dating and I can't agree on being exclusive three months in, is never going to happen
Hey, if that works for you, go for it. Personally, I don’t make a woman wait when we go out for me to start being nice. She was nice enough to ask me out so why not show appreciation and contribute to OUR date when it comes to expenses, planning, looking presentable, having the right attitude, etc. and vice versa since the very first date and on regardless of who asked who out.
Quote:
Absolutely
Heheheh! That is why gay dating may be more practical, less drama, less complications, less entitlements, more passion, etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
So he treated more often
Nothing wrong with that. That is what seems to happen most of the time when it comes to dating. Sure, there are excepctions.
1: on the first date, the person who initiated should be the one paying.
2: second date onwards: there should only be a second date if both people actually like each other. assuming this is the case, AND if both can afford it, then they should go dutch; if one is better off than the other, that person should pick up the tab for most of the dates going forward. however, if this person (ie, the one that's goin to pay) doesn't like to shell out big bucks, then it should be this person's responsibility to not pick expensive places in the first place. if the other party consistently picks expensive places, then that party should pick up the tab (or at least pay their share), or the person who is going to pay should push back and suggest a less expensive spot.
3: now and then the less financially well off person should arrange for and pick up the tab for an inexpensive (but still reasonably priced) date.
That's an important point, too. Who treats should also depend on the individuals in questions. What works for two corporate lawyers isn't going to work for a grad student and a software engineer. I experienced the latter when I was in school and on a stipend and dated a guy who made many times more than I did. I couldn't match him dollar for dollar, even if I wanted to, and he understood that if he wanted to go to a concert or a nicer restaurant that I wasn't likely to have an extra $80 lying around. So he treated more often. I paid when I could, and cooked often, but it certainly couldn't have been equal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC
Interesting. Then I guess you guys really follow traditions both ways.
Hey, if that works for you, go for it. Personally, I don’t make a woman wait when we go out for me to start being nice. She was nice enough to ask me out so why not show appreciation and contribute to OUR date when it comes to expenses, planning, looking presentable, having the right attitude, etc. and vice versa since the very first date and on regardless of who asked who out.
Heheheh! That is why gay dating may be more practical, less drama, less complications, less entitlements, more passion, etc.
Nothing wrong with that. That is what seems to happen most of the time when it comes to dating. Sure, there are excepctions.
Don't be like that. You deliberately left out most of her post. The reason her date paid more often was because he could afford it and she couldn't. If you were dating someone who was in school and didn't have much of an income - and you wanted to go out to concerts and nice restaurants that she couldn't afford - would you pay for her or would you expect her to pay regardless of her financial situation? Or would you just not date her? I think you are a good person - and if you enjoyed her company - you would simply pay for her. After all - if you are dating her - you obviously enjoy her company and would rather take her than go by yourself or go with someone else. That's why I treat my friends if they can't afford to go to a restaurant I want to go to. I wouldn't have a good time at all if they came along and went into debt because of me. I have a better time with them - so it is worth it for me to pay. That is what her post was about - not about the man always paying.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. Chicks are too complicated, that's why I only date men
. Hey, lucky you 
.
