How long before she starts paying for dates? (wedding, relations, difference)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
i always offer to pay my way - i wont accept a date unless i can afford to pay my half of the bill - the way the economy is today its just too expensive for it to be any other way -
Then do whatever you want. Plenty of idiot girls out there who aren't worth marrying that you can get away with that stuff.
Typically, I've limited my dating to only those who ARE worth marrying. Iust because they don't mind paying for a date they requested doesn't automatically make them not marriage material. Sorry, I avoid "bad girls".
You can paint any picture you like to fit your worldview, but you're certainly off the mark about the women I've dated.
Dates? Perhaps I should read the opening thread but I'm too lazy, but I'm just guessing what this one is all about as there was a recent thread pertaining to prunes, which are cousins to dates and raisins.
So I'm guessing this guy only dates women who craves dates as much as he does, and it's getting out of control, given the cost of dates. They're not as cheap as raisins. I know, I know, I cook/bake with dates!
So my dating advice to this dating dilemma, is you buy 3 packages of dates, then it's her turn to buy the next package of dates. Doesn't matter if you bought 3 6-oz. pkgs of dates and she buys a 10 oz. pkg of raisins or prunes instead, it's the thought that counts!
Last edited by tijlover; 01-04-2012 at 10:44 PM..
Reason: edit
I guess there are many women around here who have dated fools but rather call them nicely "gentleman who never let me pay...they beat me to the punch..." . Like I have said before, women can be quite tough when it comes to rules about splitting house chores, yet, when it comes to dating they become soft and fragile.
You keep quoting my "beat me to the punch."
Clarification for those who don't understand:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yzette
However, if I am interested, the third date will be my idea, if he doesn't beat me to the suggestion first. I wouldn't ask unless I planned to pay, but you know what? A good 80-90% of the time the man would still say "put that away" when the check came and I took out my wallet. I would not expect that, and I would bicker with him about it. Whether he wins depends on how skilled he is at debating. Even then, I'd find a way to chip in at least a bit, like if we decide to walk around town afterward and wanted to stop in for a drink, I'd absolutely refuse to let him pay for it, and I'd do it in such a way as to avoid ruffling any masculine pride involved--when the bartender puts the drinks down, I'd say, "No way. You just got that wonderful dinner. I am getting this." Hey, you never know what's going through a guy's head and if he's worried that he'll look like a cheapskate in front of the bartender. Plus, it's a statement of appreciation.
If you're going to quote people, quote them accurately. Cherrypicking is a very poor debate tactic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC
Why not put your foot down the same way you would when it comes to house chores? You have expressed a no nonsense tough attitude when it comes to house chores and how men should do them too but when it comes to you being in the receiving end (which is most of the time as you have said), different story, you become softie about the issue. Convenient, isn't it?
AGAIN, there is a difference between a first date and an established relationship where people cohabitate. When both partners work full-time, both partners do housework. If one person works and the other stays home, then the other keeps the house. Who is the breadwinner and who stays home (male or female) doesn't matter. I have a few girlfriends who are the primary breadwinners. One has a husband who stays home and sells sports memorabilia on-line (not full-time work by a long shot), while she pulls in six figures working at a law firm. You'd better believe he keeps house. They have cats and you'd never know it. He keeps the place so clean, you can practically eat off the floor.
You like to bring up my marriage. Apparently you are fascinated with it. I was the breadwinner. Dang straight I expected my ex to do housework. If he worked and I didn't have a job, I would keep the place neat. That's the arrangement he has with his current wife, who stays home with their two kids.
But when both partners work full-time, both partners do housework, too. Really, it's not that difficult to understand.
This thread is somewhat old but I will comment, I guess I am from the old school but the male ALWAYS pays unless there is a relationship and the couple takes turns or she is the one taking the guy out.
If I couldn't afford to pay the whole bill, whatever it may be, I wouldn't be going on any dates.
And frankly, any guy who can't afford to lose the cost of one entree at a normal restaruant once in a while shouldn't be dating.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTHokieFan
And frankly, that's the most ignorant thing I've seen posted here.
I disagree.
Ye gods, people. Some of you are acting like $30 for two at Friday's is some great expenditure that signifies either female disempowerment or male suckerhood. It's a meal, and if you can't afford that, then go sit in a park on a nice spring day with ice cream cones.
Holy crap, the drama and overanalysis on this thread is unbelievable. If I believed in a god, I'd thank him or her that I've never run into people who suck all the life and fun out of dating like this. Do those among you who keep tabs make your partners pay for their own meals when you take them out for their birthdays, too? Do you keep a running ledger of how much each meal you've paid for costs, run a tally at the end of the year, and demand payment for the difference if you were the one who paid for more?
What if you are with someone who makes half as much money as you do? Do you whine if that person can only take you to Friday's instead of Chez Fon-Fon? Do you then only take that person to Friday's because that's all they can afford to do for you, because that way it's "always equal?" What if that person can only afford to buy ingredients and cook for you? Do you never take that person anywhere?
And once you've been with someone for a few years, and that person has been by your side at weddings, funerals, and hospital beds, do you put a monetary value on that? Do you still keep tabs? Are you like this guy, keeping a balance sheet on the refrigerator?
This thread is somewhat old but I will comment, I guess I am from the old school but the male ALWAYS pays unless there is a relationship and the couple takes turns or she is the one taking the guy out.
If I couldn't afford to pay the whole bill, whatever it may be, I wouldn't be going on any dates.
I do gotta respect stand-up, old school guys to a certain degree. Which is why I cringe whenever I think of a guy like you (and others) being used as meal tickets.
When a woman offers to pay after a couple of dates, old school fellas, she's not posturing or trying to compete or show-off. She's not tacitly telling you, "Hey, little big man! Look at me! I can pay my own way — and yours too, mwah-ha!"
What she's conveying by offering to pick up the check is this: "I understand the value of a hard-earned dollar. I understand the value of your hard-earned dollar, too. Let me prove to you that I'm a responsible adult who won't fritter away your income by paying for our meal."
Girls pay by her vagina, make up, salon, nail and other bs
or equality
pay 50/50
Even simpler: Whoever asks for a date, pays. Then, when there is a relationship or marriage, however the couple chooses to work it out for themselves is their business.
Even simpler: Whoever asks for a date, pays. Then, when there is a relationship or marriage, however the couple chooses to work it out for themselves is their business.
But usually girl never ask the guy out.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. Like I have said before, women can be quite tough when it comes to rules about splitting house chores, yet, when it comes to dating they become soft and fragile
.
Even then, I'd find a way to chip in at least a bit, like if we decide to walk around town afterward and wanted to stop in for a drink, I'd absolutely refuse to let him pay for it, and I'd do it in such a way as to avoid ruffling any masculine pride involved--when the bartender puts the drinks down, I'd say, "No way. You just got that wonderful dinner. I am getting this." Hey, you never know what's going through a guy's head and if he's worried that he'll look like a cheapskate in front of the bartender. Plus, it's a statement of appreciation.
