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Old 01-04-2012, 06:13 PM
 
Location: Florida
1,782 posts, read 3,939,633 times
Reputation: 964

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Quote:
Originally Posted by supernaut112 View Post
Nicely said. Personally, I love it when the man picks up the check on a first date. It tells me that the guy is interested enough in me to make a small investment. However, sadly, this "honor system" is easily abused. I have an acquaintance who frequents dating sites just to snag a free dinner. "A girl's got to eat," she told me. If there's one woman like this, there's another. And another.

Well, then I hear men kvetching about how they feel taken advantage of — some even mentioned this in their online dating profiles, when I was actively dating. To all of the guys who believe that the man should always foot the bill ... how do you feel about this kind of mentality? Isn't that a little off-putting, to say the least? Does it still make you want to reach for the bill every time?
Women using guys for the first date is the cost of doing business, just like women not being interested. The guy still pays. And frankly, any guy who can't afford to lose the cost of one entree at a normal restaruant once in a while shouldn't be dating.

That said, I've seen some women here post that men need to purusue them and do all the work and they may or may not eventually get interested. No. One date. At the end of it she is either interested in me or not. But I'm not footing the bill for 5 dates while she decides. One first date for evaluating, and the rest for growing a relationship. Not paying for 5 "first" dates.
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Old 01-04-2012, 06:20 PM
 
Location: Portland, OR
8,802 posts, read 8,893,343 times
Reputation: 4512
Quote:
Originally Posted by th3vault View Post
And frankly, any guy who can't afford to lose the cost of one entree at a normal restaruant once in a while shouldn't be dating..
And frankly, that's the most ignorant thing I've seen posted here.
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Old 01-04-2012, 06:22 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,830,907 times
Reputation: 25362
Eh pay for one, she pays for one and so forth. Or buy groceries together and cook.
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Old 01-04-2012, 06:38 PM
 
Location: Florida
1,782 posts, read 3,939,633 times
Reputation: 964
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTHokieFan View Post
And frankly, that's the most ignorant thing I've seen posted here.
Assuming every date you go on will be perfect is more ignorant.

Some women won't want to see you again, some will use you for a meal...just pay for the first date and write it off as the cost of doing business and move on. It happens.

What else could you do? Insist she pays? Word will get around and you'll have trouble finding future dates not to mention burning bridges. Just because a woman isn't interested in me doesn't mean her friend wouldn't be, since I'm such a nice guy....but she'll never set that up if she thinks I'm a cheapskate and a jerk for making her pay once I found out she wasn't interested...
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Old 01-04-2012, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Austin
773 posts, read 1,258,961 times
Reputation: 947
Quote:
Originally Posted by th3vault View Post
What else could you do? Insist she pays? Word will get around and you'll have trouble finding future dates not to mention burning bridges. Just because a woman isn't interested in me doesn't mean her friend wouldn't be, since I'm such a nice guy....but she'll never set that up if she thinks I'm a cheapskate and a jerk for making her pay once I found out she wasn't interested...
Oh, you don't know how true that is. There's an "underground" forum in my city for women who are on dating sites and believe me, notes are definitely compared. The guy who doesn't pick up the tab on a first date does not get glowing reviews.

Speaking only for myself: I never wanted to meet a man for a free meal or entertainment. Which is why I agreed to go out on dates very selectively rather than saying "yes" to any guy who asked when I really didn't feel it. It's not fair to someone who might be a wonderful guy for someone else to take advantage of his generous nature simply because I feel I deserve a night out. I'm special, but I'm not that special.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
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Old 01-04-2012, 06:48 PM
 
19,046 posts, read 25,179,426 times
Reputation: 13485
Quote:
Originally Posted by th3vault View Post
Assuming every date you go on will be perfect is more ignorant.

Some women won't want to see you again, some will use you for a meal...just pay for the first date and write it off as the cost of doing business and move on. It happens.

What else could you do? Insist she pays? Word will get around and you'll have trouble finding future dates not to mention burning bridges. Just because a woman isn't interested in me doesn't mean her friend wouldn't be, since I'm such a nice guy....but she'll never set that up if she thinks I'm a cheapskate and a jerk for making her pay once I found out she wasn't interested...
Don't you guys find all this traditional dating to be a bore? Where's the creativity? Dinner and a movie. Dinner and a movie. Dinner and a movie. Kind of sounds like a snooze fest.
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Old 01-04-2012, 07:51 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
819 posts, read 1,129,282 times
Reputation: 1279
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freedom123 View Post
1. I'm not interested in getting married. I could go into a long rant about divorce and child custody laws, but even if those didn't exist it's still "not for me".
Then do whatever you want. Plenty of idiot girls out there who aren't worth marrying that you can get away with that stuff.
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Old 01-04-2012, 08:28 PM
 
Location: FL
2,392 posts, read 5,721,478 times
Reputation: 1277
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
Don't you guys find all this traditional dating to be a bore? Where's the creativity? Dinner and a movie. Dinner and a movie. Dinner and a movie. Kind of sounds like a snooze fest.
I agree that it's boring. For me, I never do dinner on the first date. I try to do something that is outside of the normal dating manual.
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Old 01-04-2012, 08:42 PM
 
Location: Florida
1,782 posts, read 3,939,633 times
Reputation: 964
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
Don't you guys find all this traditional dating to be a bore? Where's the creativity? Dinner and a movie. Dinner and a movie. Dinner and a movie. Kind of sounds like a snooze fest.
I find it best to play it safe for a first date. Dinner is an acceptable treat (rather than looking cheap), isn't really a distraction to conversation and allows a lot of talking, questioning and getting to know each other. Since the first date is mostly about evaluation, this works well. And if we can't enjoy each others company without some external activity, then the chemistry probably isn't there.

I do get more creative on later dates.
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Old 01-04-2012, 09:08 PM
 
2,028 posts, read 1,887,300 times
Reputation: 1001
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freedom123


I am one of the biggest critics of feminism on this forum,...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post

And now a bit of nausea can be added to that. fail.
What in particular is nauseating or is a "fail" about my embracing of egalitarianism instead of feminism?
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