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Old 12-25-2012, 01:26 PM
 
3,452 posts, read 4,600,474 times
Reputation: 4985

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Quote:
Originally Posted by WestCobb View Post
I come from southern California, Hombre, where I was one of the few white children in the neighborhood. Then I moved all around the country, starting from when I was 20. I also joined the military, where I have regularly worked for black men and women and have had black men and women work for me. I currently live in a very mixed racial neighborhood in the Atlanta suburbs (by choice... diversity is what I'm comfortable with), where I'll spare you the cliche of saying I have a lots of black friends, but it's true. I do. My wife, who grew up in the same kind of neighborhood I did has black aunts (her white uncles married black women), and she teaches at a predominantly black school .. again, by choice. She taught in a predominantly white school once and didn't like it because she couldn't relate do the kids or parents. One of the first things black people remark on when they come into our home is that my daughter has books about black people on her shelves. (She's about to turn 11.) At first, I was kind of tripped out that they thought that was weird... but I have learned that it's unusual. This is not because I'm some a self conscious liberal.. I assure you, I'm not. We just let her pick her own reading material, and she naturally picks books about all kinds of people, as she picks friends from all backgrounds. She does this because this a natural reflection of the world we raised her in. We raised her in this kind of world because it's the world we were raised in.

There... did I prove my bona fides to you?
I don't think you are racist. I can understand where your view comes from now that I know you are married. Believe it or not. The dating game has changed so much in the past few years. Expectations are changing and the way men and women interact has changed.

If you really want to know what things are like. Spend some time with single men that are looking for wives. You will get more insight then you ever imagined. Things are not the same man.

Be safe and enjoy that wife and kids. You are a lucky guy!
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Old 12-25-2012, 01:27 PM
 
Location: Aventura FL
868 posts, read 1,119,205 times
Reputation: 1176
Quote:
Originally Posted by WestCobb View Post
I come from southern California, Hombre, where I was one of the few white children in the neighborhood. Then I moved all around the country, starting from when I was 20. I also joined the military, where I have regularly worked for black men and women and have had black men and women work for me. I currently live in a very mixed racial neighborhood in the Atlanta suburbs (by choice... diversity is what I'm comfortable with), where I'll spare you the cliche of saying I have a lots of black friends, but it's true. I do. My wife, who grew up in the same kind of neighborhood I did has black aunts (her white uncles married black women), and she teaches at a predominantly black school .. again, by choice. She taught in a predominantly white school once and didn't like it because she couldn't relate do the kids or parents. One of the first things black people remark on when they come into our home is that my daughter has books about black people on her shelves. (She's about to turn 11.) At first, I was kind of tripped out that they thought that was weird... but I have learned that it's unusual. This is not because I'm some a self conscious liberal.. I assure you, I'm not. We just let her pick her own reading material, and she naturally picks books about all kinds of people, as she picks friends from all backgrounds. She does this because this a natural reflection of the world we raised her in. We raised her in this kind of world because it's the world we were raised in.

There... did I prove my bona fides to you?
No, you did not.

I'm not American and therefore don't see things as "black and white" as you do (pun intended). The problem is that you are confusing poor with black. It's because there are so many poor people in America who just so happen to be black, so it's easy to profile them or say "black people do X" or "white people do Y". Black schools, white schools? These are all alien terms to me. Like it or not, you are profiling people based on skin colour, rather than economic and social circumstance. I know enough about your history to know that in your neck of the woods, a black person would most likely be told to go to the back of the bus not so long ago.

Again, I am not American and I am by no means accusing you of being racist, but I just don't like it when Americans make statements like these. It only serves to enforce the divide that's already there and it reinforces so many negative stereotypes.

Your daughter sounds like a good kid though.
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Old 12-25-2012, 01:47 PM
 
Location: NC
2,023 posts, read 3,227,976 times
Reputation: 3203
Quote:
Originally Posted by YellowT View Post
So I wonder, after how many dates does a girl start paying half or paying for the whole date?
The woman should never pay for a date......period.
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Old 12-25-2012, 01:52 PM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,159,419 times
Reputation: 29087
Quote:
Originally Posted by filihok View Post
Ok

What about the nature of the relationship changes who should pay?
Why if it's a romantic relationship should the asker pay?
Why is it different for non-romantic relationships?
Regardless of gender, asking for a date is putting yourself in the position of host, and your date the position of guest. Hosts do not ask guests to pay. Guests may offer, but hosts should not request. It's rude.

And yes, it's really that simple.
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Old 12-25-2012, 01:55 PM
 
1,454 posts, read 2,160,507 times
Reputation: 1072
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
Regardless of gender, asking for a date is putting yourself in the position of host, and your date the position of guest. Hosts do not ask guests to pay. Guests may offer, but hosts should not request. It's rude.

And yes, it's really that simple.
Same exact thing I was trying to explain that poster but seems he doesn't get it. It can't be any simpler than that.
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Old 12-25-2012, 02:05 PM
 
Location: H-Tine, Texas
6,732 posts, read 5,146,118 times
Reputation: 8539
Quote:
Originally Posted by tazzled View Post
Damn, because it sounds kind of hilarious. You should do it and then report back with results
I think I might one day just for ****s and giggles.
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Old 12-26-2012, 05:46 AM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
13,290 posts, read 15,244,874 times
Reputation: 6658
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
Regardless of gender, asking for a date is putting yourself in the position of host, and your date the position of guest. Hosts do not ask guests to pay. Guests may offer, but hosts should not request. It's rude.

And yes, it's really that simple.
Ok. If it is that simple, then why, if I ask my friend if he wants to go to a basketball game does he usually buy his ticket and I buy mine? Not to mention any concessions, giant foam fingers, etc?
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Old 12-26-2012, 07:18 AM
 
Location: Australia
1,057 posts, read 1,686,935 times
Reputation: 1709
There is no (non-sexist and non-stingy) logical reason why girls shouldn't pay for their half on dates.
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Old 12-26-2012, 08:05 AM
 
2,028 posts, read 1,883,047 times
Reputation: 1001
Quote:
Originally Posted by escapenc View Post
The woman should never pay for a date......period.
What if she is the one who extended the invite? Should he still pay in that case, since she is the host?
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Old 12-26-2012, 08:52 AM
 
2,013 posts, read 3,540,297 times
Reputation: 2167
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freedom123 View Post
What if she is the one who extended the invite? Should he still pay in that case, since she is the host?
Some men prefer to be in charge of paying for everything for the women they like (especially when they earn more), so I think OP's date prefers to be with that kind. Nothing wrong with it.
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