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Strange. Has that ever happened to anyone else? I layed there in my bed, and I had no idea of time. My eyes were closed but I was awake. My alarm had not gone off yet, it goes off at 506 every day, dont ask. I felt like it was almost time, and thought, well, I will just get up.
My eyes would not open, so I lay there. I thought, maybe it is not meant for me to get up yet. A few minutes later, after I had almost fallen asleep, the alarm went off, and my eyes were allowed to open.
I was able to get right out of bed. normally the alarm goes off for at least 7 minutes, and the cats are trying to drag me out of bed...lmao. Not today.
Something different about today. Coffee is good. Kids are up. Just got the biggest swaying hug from L. She said I see that smile! And it was a big one. I have already had 2 hugs from My A. The first one would cost me, he said, my payment was in full, by giving him the second one...silly kid, trix are for kids! Oh wait..he is a kid!
What is different? I think my life is just falling into place, as it should. Just got another hug and a zerbert from L. Coffee is still hot, and good. Normally is getting cold by now.
I had the rain. I sat yesterday, and last night on the front porch swing, swinging, as the mist hit my face. That is the best feeling in the world to me, you know, not better than hugs, but on a different level, a different perspective. A different plane.
Just swinging. Just sitting out there alone in the mist. The quiet, with the occasional car passing by. They cut the cotton... that was sad. It was in its most awesome glory, beautiful white fields of cotton. I sat there and thought...what is missing...I looked around, what is it? Where are the puffy fields of white, the clouds that lay on the ground? Gone. But it is time. Replaced are just brown sticks, not near as lovely to behold...but again, the swinging, and the mist.
My pajamas have stars , clouds and moons on them, as I look down at them. The moons are crescent all of them snoozing, with their eyes closed. Is this why I couldn't open my eyes this morning? Nah. I was ready to start my day, and my body was not. Thats all it was. I sit in the dark as I type, that has not changed....from where is the love.
Back in those days, I used to get up in the night, 1am, 4 am, who knows what time I would be up, but if I was up... I was here. I was quiet, in the dark...like a church mouse. Typing my feelings. In the 4am hour he would awaken, why are you you up? Why are you on the computer? What are you typing?
Then I thought he was just being nosey. Now I know that he thought I was journaling against him. But I was getting my every thought, my every feeling, my hurt, my pain out of my system.
Without cd...without cd, I may still be at shackles, but you know, my strength...I become stronger every day. I have been here for 2 months, just about. I wonder where I would be? I have gotten my strength from many places, this place being one of them, and with this place being said, that means all of you!
Would I still be there? Afraid? In the dark at 4am? I dont know, I will never know. The path that was meant for me is the one I took. I think things happen for a reason.
I often wonder why people are at cd. I am here because I was researching an area for a move. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. I did not move, I had the realization, the confirmation. CD came up on the search engine.
My first step. I cannot move with you. So scary, but I wiped away the tears, and came into the house and told him. I did it. The first step. Many steps came after.
I am writing a novel here, but for some reason this morning, I have many feelings flooding from me. Nothing bad, just all good, and all I dont know. All...YAY!
One of the most inspiring things I have ever read...GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!
Don't stop posting unless you just want to, but the rest of us aren't tired of it at all! I don't post much anymore, mostly because you seem to have it all under control and always get such excellent advice, but I catch up once or twice a day. We'll all worry if you suddenly disappear!
I have A and L and Ls friend M. We have had Dominoes Pizza. We had fruit punch. We have picked out movies.
The girls have discussed what the best thing that have ever happened to them in life.
So inspiring to hear their thoughts of the best things...at their age. L said she has a wonderful family, motioning at A and I, and friend, motioning at M.
Oh No, A has out a million legos! No bare feet for me any time soon...I'll tell you that right now!!!! Shoot.
OK, watching Trollz first.
The rain is still here with us. Love the rain...renewal. Life.
Hi Everyone, sorry I've been MIA for the past week ~ I've been away purchasing another home to move to ~ just came back to find that the inspection on the house I'm selling didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped. Tomorrow they are bringing chimney specialists, waterproofing specialists, a plumber etc...Lordy, Lordy when will this all end!?
So sorry to hear about all the children's accidents ~ thank goodness they are all mendable fractures. I agree that ib's depression is his issue, not yours (or the kid's). He needs to take care of his emotional self, so that his kids don't have to deal with it. Windchimes, hope your husband is doing well. You guys are so loving and supportive to Robyn, I have nothing to add, she's heard the best already.
Anyway, it's been yucky rainy around here for the past few days, and I've got a surprise...a treat for myself really...something I've been thinking about doing for a couple months at least! First thing in the morning, I've driving to our Robyn's to meet her and bring a few things I'd like to recycle with someone who could use them. I can't wait and you will all be the first to hear from us ~ if she's real I mean!! haha So wish me luck, I'm up for an adventure, been too busy the past month, and this will be FUN! Will be in touch in the next couple days, after I return. I'm coming Robyn!! (she knows already)
MsV- That is so cool! we want pix- you can block out the faces!
What would be the point then? I'm volunteering for the official photographer job. I gotta give MsV at least one hug, then i'll leave them to their visit.
What would be the point then? I'm volunteering for the official photographer job. I gotta give MsV at least one hug, then i'll leave them to their visit.
We'll replace their facial features with emoticons for anonymity!
The rain is still here with us. Love the rain...renewal. Life.
Cinderobyn, since we now know that you really love the rain, let me guess...are you a water sign of the zodiac? That would mean that you're either Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces?
If you are, then some of these traits sound a lot like you. If not, then I'm not really into the zodiac anyway!
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Nah. I was ready to start my day, and my body was not. Thats all it was. I sit in the dark as I type, that has not changed....from where is the love.
haha So wish me luck, I'm up for an adventure, been too busy the past month, and this will be FUN! Will be in touch in the next couple days, after I return. I'm coming Robyn!! (she knows already)
