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Just1fan: I had women around me since my twenties. But I was extremely pessimistic and so never believed dating or relationships were possible for me. Eventually each woman moved on and went her own way.
Thanks for the responses. You all have given me a lot think about. Just1fan: probably good sense of humor, fun, interesting, but lacks confidence.
It's always hard to approach someone when you want something from them. So, the next time you see a woman with potential, instead of thinking about what you want from her, focus on what SHE wants. Then, figure out a way to give it to her.
To those with negative responses: I know where you are coming from because I was like you once. I started working out at the gym three nights a week with my cousin and she showed me how to have a more positive outlook and smile more. The next thing I knew I was receiving interest from four twenty somethings. I will continue to keep a positive outlook. You should try it also. Couldn't hurt.
Truly, in life, attitude is EVERYTHING.
Please don't listen to the naysayers - they have failed themselves and certainly cannot help you.
You want to continue to grow - good for you
One way to increase your self-esteem is to become competent in as many areas as possible.
See, competence in a task or skill is what provides self-esteem.
This is why you have confidence as a photographer - because you have worked at it long enough to become very competent!
So, work on other challenges that you can become competent at doing and you will watch your self-esteem grow and grow
I know. I was once where dolls eyes is now. I tried to to help but he wouldn't listen. I also see a lot of women bashing on this forum. Women have been way too good to me in my life to ever take this tack. It is my own fault that I couldn't ever see myself in a relationship and eventually they all went away. Just1fan: I like your response as well. There is a lot of sense in what you say. Lovesmountains: what I wrote just1fan applies to your response as well. Thank you both.
I am generally confident about my photography, but when it comes to women I always doubt myself. I can't seem to ask them out. I can talk to them but even when the interest is obvious I can't make myself believe that they would be interested in dating me. This has cost me several women over the last fifteen years. Four in the last year alone. I know this issue is confidence/self esteem related. How can I fix this so I can start to live my life fully and stop losing out?
Well, this isn't easy, because it really involves changing your attitude about yourself.
First of all, you have to tell yourself that you have value for a number of reasons. Hell, wear a rubber band around your wrist and, every time you have a bit of self-loathing, snap yourself with it.
Second, you are in photography, which is a very cool and glamorous profession -- as long as you're not working at Olan Mills or some equivalent. You are in the business of making people look better. If that's not a great way to meet women, I don't know what is. I've never known a photographer who didn't have a fabulous s/o.
Finally, quit idolizing women. That's a large part of the problem. You can't believe that they're interested in dating you? That means you have them up on the pedestal, when they prefer to be treated as real flesh-and-blood creatures.
It's always hard to approach someone when you want something from them. So, the next time you see a woman with potential, instead of thinking about what you want from her, focus on what SHE wants. Then, figure out a way to give it to her.
You have got to be kidding me!
This has to be the worst advice that I have seen given to men that are trying to get women.
This is terrible advice.
Fellas follow this advice if you:
1-Never want to get laid
2-Enjoy being in the friend zone
3-#1 and #2
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The golden key to reality
