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Just because someone isn't interested in fitness doesn't mean they're obese.
I didn't say that. But if you are a person that has made fitness a priority in your life, (I mean a real priority...staying active...not just "being healthy") it's unlikely that you are going to want to spend much of your time with a person that does not share that priority.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
There are plenty of people who are attractive and in good shape without going to the gym.
True. But if you are a person that is into bodybuilding, and you spend 4-5 hours there a day, you'd most likely have greater success in a relationship if that person shared a similar focus.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
The OP said he had a variety of interests, some of which he'd neglected to factor into his search. We're not one-dimensional beings, we're multi-faceted. It wouldn't hurt the OP to check out some of the other facets.
Of course we are. But fitness is, for some of us (me included), something that we don't "give" on. It's not a "hobby" or an "interest"....it's a way of life. And like it or not, those people that don't have the same focus, just don't appeal to many of us.
Last edited by ChessieMom; 07-02-2012 at 09:39 PM..
You don't make much sense to me. Why on earth would someone that has made fitness a main priority in their life, want to look for someone that had no interest in it? I'd never ever date a guy that had no interest in fitness. "Self-limiting"? Damn right it is. Over a third of the population is obese...and I don't have any interest in dating them either.
You need a dose of reality.
Wow, harsh much? You pick only that portion of my post to reply to? You miss the whole point I was making.
The part of my post you left out was me asking him why he had to be so specific that he wants a woman who lifts, not just someone who exercises to keep fit. To be so narrow in his view of wanting to date a lifter, not someone who does aerobics, Zumba, is a long-distance runner, but solely a lifter, that isn't going to leave him with many options.
Wow, harsh much? You pick only that portion of my post to reply to? You miss the whole point I was making.
The part of my post you left out was me asking him why he had to be so specific that he wants a woman who lifts, not just someone who exercises to keep fit. To be so narrow in his view of wanting to date a lifter, not someone who does aerobics, Zumba, is a long-distance runner, but solely a lifter, that isn't going to leave him with many options.
And he realizes that. But just wanting someone who works out won't leave him with many options, either.
Lifting is totally different from Zumba and aerobics. Lifting is hard as hell, and to put your body (and mind) through that, takes a type of mental dedication that is different from the casual aerobics class. It also requires attention to diet that the average person doesn't possess.
And just because someone lifts does not automatically make them a bodybuilder. I don't think the OP said bodybuilder, but I may be mistaken.
And he realizes that. But just wanting someone who works out won't leave him with many options, either.
Lifting is totally different from Zumba and aerobics. Lifting is hard as hell, and to put your body (and mind) through that, takes a type of mental dedication that is different from the casual aerobics class. It also requires attention to diet that the average person doesn't possess.
And just because someone lifts does not automatically make them a bodybuilder. I don't think the OP said bodybuilder, but I may be mistaken.
I agree with you. I know nothing of the dedication to lifting (or bodybuilding or long-distance marathon running). I work out to stay in shape and be healthy, so that's all I know.
I just think that finding a woman who lifts AND with whom he's going to be compatible, is going to be nearly impossible. I can't even think of how you would go about finding such a person. I think that's why, and even the OP agrees, he needs to look in other areas than lifting to find someone to share his life with. I assume that's his ultimate goal, a life partner, not a lift partner.
Couple of good questions have been raised and I would love to respond to them.
Yes, I do have other hobbies and interests, but as a previous poster has mentioned, fitness is a lifestyle for me. While I am more attracted to "muscular" women (keep in mind too when I say "muscular," I don't mean drug-swollen and steroid-enduced, but rather thick, strong arms and legs,) I would not automatically disqualify someone if they are into different fitness interests. Female lifters are just my preference, both because I myself am into lifting and am attracted to a strong looking woman; I always have been since I was very young. It just sucks to like a particular type that is rather uncommon. Also, a misconception that I want to clear up, they don't HAVE to be actual competitors (I have yet to compete myself, though I am looking into entering a powerlifting meet by the end of the year.)
But, like others have said, I do have other interests, and I actually have been attracted to women outside of fitness types because of their personality and intellect. About a year ago, I remember having a huge crush on this girl who never goes to the gym, but was a smart woman who was into comic books and video games and zombie movies (which I thought was incredibly cool.) I have been attracted to bookish, geek types because that is also who I am even though they themselves aren't into fitness like myself, but when it comes to that physical attraction, I still admit to having my preference. There are always exceptions. But, I admit that while I do like those traits as well, they have taken a bit of a backseat to looking for a fit woman since over the past six months I started a very intensive lifting program
I hope this clarifies things a little bit. I feel so weird at times liking a type of woman that the majority of men do not seem to be attracted to and are sometimes even intimidated by, but I have liked that look since I was like 12 lol.
What a complete rude bytch. I would NEVER say that to someone and I've been approached by some horrible looking people. I wouldn't waste another thought on her as she seems like a A-hole
Firstly, I would have been appalled at her misuse of the English language where the supposition clearly called for the subjunctive mood. Secondly, men ask and women reject all the time. It might even be their loss. At least she was honest.
You need to respect the right of rejection. To become more politically motivated for this right, renew your drivers license, ride public transportation, or perhaps visit a fast food establishment that rejects no one their entrance to appreciate this blessed right.
Oh, and what do you expect from androgen amped broads that you prefer? Not Senior Lecturer Emerita of the Academy of Social Graces I presume.
As someone who is heavily into weight training and bodybuilding, I have an interest in strong women and those who are also heavy lifters. Unfortunately, it's hard to meet women like that outside of the gym (and maybe contests, though based on my experience they tend to stay within their own groups, plus, talking to someone when they are heavily carb and water-depleted is not a good idea at all.) This forum gave me great advice on how to approach someone at the gym.
Yesterday night, I noticed this absolutely jacked woman in the powerlifting area doing perfectly executed deadlifts and squats. Now, I don't go to a gym that produces a ton of powerlifters and bodybuilders, especially female ones, so that was quite the awesome sight. Since she was so focused on her lifting, I didn't want to interrupt her at all (even during the breaks between sets) until she was done. I went on with my workout, and when she was done and cooling down, I approached her, and asked her if she competed. She said yes, and I then said that her routine was extremely impressive and that it's awesome to see women who are dedicated to lifting heavy. I then asked her about her routine, specifically, as to how effective doing deadlifts and squats on the same workout are (I don't do them on the same day.) She responded by saying:
"Look, I am not interested in talking training with anyone, and even if I was, you are way to small for me to even consider your company. My ex was a 230 lb powerlifter, and even that was in the small-end of guys that I am attracted to. Try gaining some size before talking to female lifters next time."
What...the...hell? Ok, I know I am not the biggest guy in the weight room, but I am decently big and strong for my size (5'6", 173 lbs and just performed a max bench of 325 two weeks ago.) I actually felt proud of the gains I was making, but damn, that freaking hurt. Not just from the rejection itself, but if my accomplishments aren't really accomplishments at all. I know I'll probably never break that 200 lb mark, but damnit I train extremely hard, and I don't "use" anything except protein.
Ugh, sorry, I know I shouldn't taken that personally, but that hurt a lot.
Nah. She was nasty but in reality she's a lesbian. That's how you do it
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