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As someone who is heavily into weight training and bodybuilding, I have an interest in strong women and those who are also heavy lifters. Unfortunately, it's hard to meet women like that outside of the gym (and maybe contests, though based on my experience they tend to stay within their own groups, plus, talking to someone when they are heavily carb and water-depleted is not a good idea at all.) This forum gave me great advice on how to approach someone at the gym.
Yesterday night, I noticed this absolutely jacked woman in the powerlifting area doing perfectly executed deadlifts and squats. Now, I don't go to a gym that produces a ton of powerlifters and bodybuilders, especially female ones, so that was quite the awesome sight. Since she was so focused on her lifting, I didn't want to interrupt her at all (even during the breaks between sets) until she was done. I went on with my workout, and when she was done and cooling down, I approached her, and asked her if she competed. She said yes, and I then said that her routine was extremely impressive and that it's awesome to see women who are dedicated to lifting heavy. I then asked her about her routine, specifically, as to how effective doing deadlifts and squats on the same workout are (I don't do them on the same day.) She responded by saying:
"Look, I am not interested in talking training with anyone, and even if I was, you are way to small for me to even consider your company. My ex was a 230 lb powerlifter, and even that was in the small-end of guys that I am attracted to. Try gaining some size before talking to female lifters next time."
What...the...hell? Ok, I know I am not the biggest guy in the weight room, but I am decently big and strong for my size (5'6", 173 lbs and just performed a max bench of 325 two weeks ago.) I actually felt proud of the gains I was making, but damn, that freaking hurt. Not just from the rejection itself, but if my accomplishments aren't really accomplishments at all. I know I'll probably never break that 200 lb mark, but damnit I train extremely hard, and I don't "use" anything except protein.
Ugh, sorry, I know I shouldn't taken that personally, but that hurt a lot.
Wow! Just wow. I'm sorry she put you through that. That's quite the attitude she's got.
Brush it off as extreme rudeness. Move on. You tried, which is more than a lot of guys can muster.
I remember your other thread, btw. How did that one work out? It wasn't the same woman, was it?
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 06-24-2012 at 12:35 PM..
Wow! Just wow. I'm sorry she put you through that. That's quite the attitude she's got.
Brush it off as extreme rudeness. Move on. You tried.
I remember your other thread, btw. How did that one work out? It wasn't the same woman, was it?
No, this was a new girl. I never saw her before at my gym.
And as to the other one, I did run into her again, but she was with a male partner. I know that sometimes women, especially those are are serious with their training, have male training partners because they can usually handle their intensity, but she kissed this guy, so I'm assuming it was a boyfriend/husband. Pleh. This just sucks.
I just feel like I have been hit twice by the same girl. One in her brutal rejection, and the other in her basically calling me puny. I am working hard to get even bigger than I already am, but damn, makes me take less pride in my gains.
As someone who is heavily into weight training and bodybuilding, I have an interest in strong women and those who are also heavy lifters. Unfortunately, it's hard to meet women like that outside of the gym (and maybe contests, though based on my experience they tend to stay within their own groups, plus, talking to someone when they are heavily carb and water-depleted is not a good idea at all.) This forum gave me great advice on how to approach someone at the gym.
Yesterday night, I noticed this absolutely jacked woman in the powerlifting area doing perfectly executed deadlifts and squats. Now, I don't go to a gym that produces a ton of powerlifters and bodybuilders, especially female ones, so that was quite the awesome sight. Since she was so focused on her lifting, I didn't want to interrupt her at all (even during the breaks between sets) until she was done. I went on with my workout, and when she was done and cooling down, I approached her, and asked her if she competed. She said yes, and I then said that her routine was extremely impressive and that it's awesome to see women who are dedicated to lifting heavy. I then asked her about her routine, specifically, as to how effective doing deadlifts and squats on the same workout are (I don't do them on the same day.) She responded by saying:
"Look, I am not interested in talking training with anyone, and even if I was, you are way to small for me to even consider your company. My ex was a 230 lb powerlifter, and even that was in the small-end of guys that I am attracted to. Try gaining some size before talking to female lifters next time."
What...the...hell? Ok, I know I am not the biggest guy in the weight room, but I am decently big and strong for my size (5'6", 173 lbs and just performed a max bench of 325 two weeks ago.) I actually felt proud of the gains I was making, but damn, that freaking hurt. Not just from the rejection itself, but if my accomplishments aren't really accomplishments at all. I know I'll probably never break that 200 lb mark, but damnit I train extremely hard, and I don't "use" anything except protein.
Ugh, sorry, I know I shouldn't taken that personally, but that hurt a lot.
Start by going after some normal women. A woman with more balls than most men is going to be like that. She would probably say the same thing to me a 5' 10" 197 muscular type. My reply...."Only one of us has a penis here".
Is it really a rejection when you weren't specifically asking her out? She was rude as heck, but she couldn't turn you down for something you didn't ask for. You dodged a bullet.
She doesn't speak for all female lifters or all females. She only speaks for herself.
This is where all that "believe in yourself" talk comes in handy. It's true. YOU have to believe in you. If you know all the things you just wrote, then that's all that matters.
You don't want what's called a "reflected sense of self," where you get your sense of self-image from what others say/think of you. You don't want to be who you are in the eyes of others.
So try to move on, and if you see her again just be cool and resist the temptation to be rude.
My concern for you is that you seem to have a very small pool of women that you are attracted to. I mean, you like who you like, but there can't be THAT many female power lifters. And I'm sure they ARE weary of being hit on at the gym (by others, not just you).
She doesn't speak for all female lifters or all females. She only speaks for herself.
This is where all that "believe in yourself" talk comes in handy. It's true. YOU have to believe in you. If you know all the things you just wrote, then that's all that matters.
You don't want what's called a "reflected sense of self," where you get your sense of self-image from what others say/think of you. You don't want to be who you are in the eyes of others.
So try to move on, and if you see her again just be cool and resist the temptation to be rude.
My concern for you is that you seem to have a very small pool of women that you are attracted to. I mean, you like who you like, but there can't be THAT many female power lifters. And I'm sure they ARE weary of being hit on at the gym (by others, not just you).
IMO women who do the powerlifting thing are teetering on the edge of lesbianism anyway. I don't know any men who are friends or family of mine that would be interested in such a type. They have some issues going on for wanting to look like a man in the first place. The OP doesn't need any of that. I think he should go shopping at "the general store" myself.
Who gave you the advice to pick up women in the gym? That's terrible advice, certainly so with athletes. Most serious trainers in a gym will get incredibly irritated trying to be "picked up" there.
Give yourself credit for trying. Consider the thousands of posts from guys here who are too timid to even approach any woman. And the woman you were attracted to in the gym is a total b----. That realization should soften the blow of her over-the-top and RUDE rejection.
You know, everyone gets rejected in life. Ruminating over and wringing your hands is a waste of your time. And this "woman" isn't worth one moment of your time. You weren't even coming on to her, you were making nice conversation (or attempting to). It doesn't matter whether this she-beast is your perfect woman physically. Her personality is wretched. Don't think twice about it and move on.
Who gave you the advice to pick up women in the gym? That's terrible advice, certainly so with athletes. Most serious trainers in a gym will get incredibly irritated trying to be "picked up" there.
I am attracted to muscular women who are into lifting. Where else can I find them besides the gym?
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